We Want Some Moore

Growing up just blocks from the UIC Pavilion in Chicago, Howard Moore made the proper decision to ditch the Horizon League basketball scene on the Near West side and opted to picket with groups of hippie-liberals (often referred to as 'hiberals') in Madison while also suiting up for the Badgers from 1990-1995. Ironically, some 20 years later, Howard Moore will be trying to sway kids into staying under the shadow of the Hull House, and choosing to dress in the red and blue while staying at home to play for UIC.

Former UIC head man Jimmy Collins didn't exactly have UIC competing with Illinois in his time with the Flames, but he didn't have them going winless and hiring a new coach every time the Goo Goo Dolls dropped a new single in the late 90's like Chicago St. either. In Collins' tenure, he coached the Flames to Horizon League titles in 2002 and 2004 and also competed in the National tournament on three occasions. However, with conference rival Butler coming off a season in which it was the National Runner-up and produced a top 10 overall NBA draft pick and UIC's all-time tournament wins total is stalled at the same number of times Wendy Williams has ordered a salad instead of KFC (0), Howard Moore has a lot ahead of him, or, at lot on the horizon (no pun intended).

For Moore, it all starts with recruiting. Now I'm not saying that Moore will be pulling down your Evan Turner, Sherron Collins, Jacob Pullen type recruit to come play in an arena that features a royal blue curtain as a stadium wall and attracts more people for a Godsmack concert than a basketball game in the next few years. However, being a former Public League player himself, he should know that enough workable basketball talent comes out of that city to make a competitive roster. Throw in a few foreign import big men (or beers) from Latvia or Belarus and you have a nice squad. (side note: when is the last time you've heard of a European guard in D1 college hoops? They're all makeshift centers. I'm just envisioning everyone above 5'11'' doing the Mikan Drill at 7 AM in their driveway as vespas race around the block at 45 mph) Also in coming from Wisconsin, if Howard Moore gets his kids to buy into the Bo Ryan "Swing, Swing" system and get after it on D, the strategy works for itself. For example, Bo Ryan has had good years with the likes of Joe Krabbenhoft, Greg Stiemsma, and Brian Butch as his big men...just sayin

It's clear Howard Moore wants to be at UIC based on the waterworks he shed at his press-conference that resembled the pathetic T.O. "That's my Quarterback" interview that led us to never take him seriously again. In defense of Moore, he paid his dues as a longtime assistant coach and finally landed the head gig for his hometown team, go ahead and shed a few Howie. There's no place like home.

As for Pick of the Day, when I saw that the Dave Bush led Brewers were leading the Mets behind 6 innings of 3 hit baseball, it prompted me to pruposely use CAPS LOCK for the first time since about my sophomore year in high school and triggered this text exchange between me and the Pulse Man. Me: "DAVE BUSH IS PITCHING A 3 HIT SHUTOUT!?!?!" Pulse Man: Are you sure it isn't a single A game? Either way, we were burned by the hair of the dog that bit us (or however that saying goes). Tonight, trying to rid himself of this 2 game skid, the Pulse Man likes the UNDER in the Texas A&M/Oklahoma St. Thursday night special set at 66.5.

Pick of the Day: Texas A&M @ Oklahoma St.-Total Points 66.5-UNDER (-110)

Record:(22-15-0)

Center of Attention

3 years ago when Joakim Noah was winning National Championships and dancing like a dunce during post-game interviews at the University of Florida, you couldn't find anybody who appreciated his talents and considered themselves a Joakim Noah 'fan'. Since then, Joakim Noah has accumulated a marijuana possession ticket, an open alcohol fine, and a 7 and 7 PPG/RPG career average (no pun intended with the 7&7 and the open alcohol fine) and the Bulls are now unwilling to trade him for one of the most prodigious scorers in the NBA the last 5 years, and are surprisingly backed by tons of Bulls fans. Now, don't think I'm underestimating the importance of a 'good glue guy' (shout out Matt DeMars). Joakim is an asset for the Bulls in the defense and rebounding departments alike. His unmatched intensity and ongoing rivalry with LeBron is something the fans of Chicago have come to embrace. Chicagoans have gone from being disgruntled after drafting a gap-toothed, buffoon with 6 nationalities and an incredible knack for intangibles with the 9th overall pick, to holding onto Noah like he's their first born moving into a coed dorm.

Once again, I like what Noah brings to the Bulls. As a matter of fact, I simply like Noah in general. But, not including him in a trade for one of the elite scorers in the NBA and therefore nullifying the idea of landing Carmelo Anthony--now that's just ill-considered and imbecilic. Let's go over Joakim's numbers from his last 2 years in the NBA.

2008-09: 6.7 PPG, 7.6 RPG, 80 Games
2009-10: 10.7 PPG, 11.0 RPG, 64 Games

Now, some of you disciples of this pony-tailed prodigy might be saying, "but what about his playoff numbers?" What about them? Did they win either series? Nope. They sure didn't. The only thing with a lasting effect from either series were his comments made about Cleveland being a repugnant city that nobody enjoys--which were comments that I fully endorse.

On the other side of the fence sits Carmelo Anthony, a bonafide NBA megastar who averaged 28.2 points per game a season ago and could draw more of a crowd than a golfer with an arm growing out of his ass. It is only once in a while that you get someone with this much talent that wants to play in your city, and Paxson and Forman are letting the opportunity slip right through the vents in their upstairs Berto Center office. Maybe they turn out to be right to hold onto Joakim and he turns out to average 17 points and 18 boards next year like some Pau Gasol/Ben Wallace hybrid animal. But, just in case things don't turn out, here are a couple of guys with very similar stats to Noah that I wouldn't trade my North Face APEX jacket for.

Troy Murphy, 2009-10: 14.6 PPG, 10.2 RPG
Marc Gasol, 2009-10: 14.6 PPG, 9.3 RPG, and the same haircut as Russel Brand.
Samuel Dalembert, 2009-10: 8.1 PPG, 9.6 RPG

If you haven't figured it out yet, the center position in the NBA is the most dispensable position in the NBA. Yea, you need one, don't get me wrong. But, I feel like even if the Bulls lost Noah, they could gain a decent center back with one decent front office move or the development of a player that they already have. In part, I think the reason Paxson and Forman are holding onto Noah so forcibly is because they finally made a solid draft pick without having the #1 overall pick in front of them and are too stubborn to let him go. If they don't offer Noah and the trade talks die, the starting lineup of: Rose (tremendous creator, endless potential, All-Star), Brewer (rangy defender), Melo (incredible scorer, top 5 player in the NBA, All-Star), Boozer (solid back to the basket scorer, All-Star), Center X (you could seriously put Eric Montross in here, and the Bulls are fine) is all just...what might have been.

As for Pick of the Day, the Nationals managed to squeak by the Phillies last night in a game that had lower ratings than 'How I Met Your Mother' at 3 AM on WCIU. For tonight, the Pulse Man continues his "Bet Against Bush" campaign and likes the Mets over the Brewers in game 2 of the Milwaukee/New York Mets twin billing in NYC at (-152).

Pick of the Day: Brewers @ Mets- Mets-moneyline (-152)

Record: (22-14-0)

The Bears Are Back in Town

You gotta admit, nobody thought the Bears would be 3-0 and leading the NFC North after the season's first 3 weeks. To be honest, the first 3 games of the season can kind of be looked at as the fans of Chicago 'dating' the idea of their beloved Bears being a relevant team in the NFC. After week 1, the girl they first encountered on opening weekend looked pretty good. She had a cute outfit which made you wonder (Cutler, speed on the edges, Forte), but maybe it was only because she was simply surrounded by her DFG (dog faced gremlin, invented by one Tate Stunkel) roommate that was pushing 3 bills (the Lions) who kept giving you looks after you continuously attempted to box her out of conversations all night. Then, when you met up with the same girl the next weekend after a series of incoherent text messages, she started to grow on you a little bit as she put her 'weapons' to good use (do I really need to draw a correlation to how a female uses her weapons? think about it) and continued to impress you. Still, you were unsure of her overall endowment because you were 4 Hurricanes deep and feeling as if a 5th were to be a good idea. After two successful rendezvouses, you finally asked her to join you on a fancy, chic dinner (Monday Night Football) that would give you a definitive answer about her without the sounds of Muse blaring through the sardined bar speakers and muddling your supposedly lucid conversation. As it turns out, she didn't disappoint and left you feeling proud to be dating someone with such promise...it's still a long season. Let's see if she cheats on us with a loser computer technician next week (Eli Manning).

All meaningless metaphors aside, the Bears came to play Monday night and shocked the football world in joining the Chiefs and the Charlie Batch led Pittsburgh Steelers as the league's only unbeatens. The Bears consistently came up big in key situations. Even if it seemed to be a blindfolded Cutler throwing off of his back foot into double coverage, Greg Olsen and the rest of the Bears receivers continued to make him look like he knew what he was doing. Granted, Jay "Don't worry about my delivery, it's DiGiorno" Cutler was bailed out of two interceptions by a couple of the Packers franchise record-breaking 18 penalties. Monday night's game may not have been the most penalized football game I had ever seen, but it was certainly the game with the most individual flags thrown in the history of the NFL. Perhaps it was the blatant nature of the Packers offenses (literally going helmet first into Cutler's chin on 3rd and long, Tauscher holding on 2 consecutive plays, holding Earl Bennett like he was the high school prom date of the Packers' DB, etc.), but the Soldier Field turf looked like Koopa Troopa beach after Toad just ran threw it with a bundle of bananas in Mario Kart after each penalty.

On the offensive side of the ball, the Packers game plan was relatively easy to figure out. The Pack realized that although it is extremely interesting and presumably backwards when they hand the ball off to their white running back and a bunch of Wisconsinites gleefully respond by yelling "KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHN", they weren't going to do much on the ground Monday night. In fact, I felt as if Rodgers completed a check-down pass on virtually every play the Packers had from scrimmage. They probably did this to try and limit A-Rodg's time in the pocket so they wouldn't have to deal with Julius Peppers (who still made his presence felt by blocking a FG), but Rodgers honestly had more 7-10 yd. completions last night than Antonio Cromartie has kids (on second thought, we can't prove that). And, although it seemed as if the Packers were moving the ball with relative ease, they only put up 17 points. With that being said, the difference in the game was Devin Hester, who according to Jon Gruden has "4. don't know" speed (the broadcasters in this game were despicable and showed meaningless replays of the Bears RT and Clay Matthews who were irrelevant in the play on 4 straight downs). Last night, when he stood back there doing his sexual innuendo laden dances while waiting for the punt, shades of 2007 ran through every Bears fans head as they prayed he could pull something out, and simultaneously pull the Bears, and the home crowd back into the game...and he did. Hester was impressive and effective last night. However, neither of the aforementioned adjectives can be used to describe his haircut, which remains to be an utter atrocity. Needless to say, Packer punter Tim Masthay will have to post his resume on Monster.com and put his agriculture degree from Kentucky to work, because he sure as hell isn't going to be punting in Green Bay much longer after his series of shortcomings Monday night.

In any event, the Bears played to win last night and I respect Lovie Smith's mentality going in. Even though the 4th and 1 attempt from the goal line failed, his chutzpah (yes, that's a real word) when the game was on the line was refreshing to see. Thousands of trained professionals in the Chicagoland area were relieved with a win Monday night as they could now go to work on Tuesday and not have to listen to some six-toothed, janitorial staff, hillbilly parade around the workplace and brag about the Packers. Chalk another one up for the Land of Lincoln. Bear Down!

As for Pick of the Day, I apologize for the lack of Saturday 6-pack and Sunday Teaser from this past weekend. I was visiting friends in LaCrosse, Wisconsin and was consumed too much by flat keg beer that tasted like lukewarm chicken broth, Affliction t-shirts, and Ke$ha songs to formulate anything productive for the blog. However, tonight the Pulse Man likes Roy Oswalt and the Phils to beat the Nationals tonight on the moneyline at (-126). Anytime you can bet against the Nats on those odds, you take it.

Pick of the Day: Phillies @ Nationals- PHILLIES-moneyline (-126)

Record:(22-13-0)

Showdown at the Spaceship

Why do I keep giving the state of Wisconsin a voice? To be honest, I really don't even know. The electoral college proved to us who the government thought was the most important state in the midwest. Sorry Wisconsinites, although you beat out rival state Minnesota by one vote (11-10) and usually kick their ass in football, you're still deadlocked with the ghastly state of Tennessee and crawling 13 electoral votes behind Illinois. But, who cares about that system, it only elects the American President. When it comes to blogging, I'm an equal opportunity employer. That is why when it comes to football and previewing the big Packers vs. Bears Monday Night Football showdown, I left it up to two of my friends from college to formulate the preview. To humbly introduce these two bloggers, you need a brief background of the people they are and the voice they represent. Matt Meyers is a former Dairyland farm hand who was raised on only a few things--hard work, hand grease, and the CCR Greatest Hits CD. His uprbringing was prided on the 'rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey' idealogy like some sharecropper out of Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath. This nurturing has outlined his moral values and has led him to scoff at contemporary revelations like hummus, Taio Cruz, and electronic mail. On the other hand, our second blogger, Matt DeMars, is more of your new-age, 'liberalist hipster' Wisconsinite who indulges in modern phenomenons like deep-cut V neck T shirts and pomegranite lemonade. As born cynics and riotous critics, the 'two Matts' play off each other like Damon and Affleck. Aside from their conflicting ideals, these two find solidarity in something more emphatic than any other aspect of life in America's dairyland--Green Bay Packer football. Without further ado, here it is:

With the Packers and Bears facing off on Monday night, most people reading this blog probably don’t give a damn about the Sunday that preludes it. Unless, of course, you’re battling your shithead, garbage-eating roommate in this week’s fantasy match-up like I was last week (yeah, that’s right, Keagan) or you’re tuning in to HBO’s stellar, fall lineup (Boardwalk Empire and season premiere of Eastbound and Down). As much as I’m looking forward to ordering some General Tso’s and sitting on the couch all day on Sunday, I am freaking JACKED for the game Monday night.

This Packers-Bears match-up should answer a lot of questions surrounding each team, such as: Are the Packers the powerhouse that all of us (us, meaning Packers fans and most knowledgeable NFL fans) thought they would be? Are the Bears for real, or simply a flash in the pan, ala Eiffel 65? This week’s game should answer these questions, as well paint a clearer picture of the NFC North.

First of all, let’s start with the home team—The Chicago Bears:

The Bears are coming off of an impressive road win against the Cowboys, who are becoming more unpredictable than a menopausal woman’s mood swings. Their offense is 5th overall in the league, which is impressive for a team that is normally known for their defensive prowess. Jay Cutler looks to be in mid-season form, which should be relieving for Bears’ fans after last season’s debacle. Note that I said form in the last sentence, NOT shape. The guy has about as much cleavage between his two chins that his reality TV hunny, Kristin Cavallari, has between her breasts. But, whatever, she’s still hot as hell. Cutler definitely “out-kicked his coverage” on that one (pun absolutely intended). Jay is starting the throw the ball around the yard, evoking memories of Erik Kramer’s magical 1995 season. The knock on Cutler last year was the fact that he issued more Pick-6’s than the Wisconsin state lottery. If Jay can continue to avoid mistakes, he should have himself a Pro Bowl year.

Jay’s favorite target this season seems to be Greg Olsen. If this guy isn’t laying down tracks with the 7th floor crew, he’s running 12 yard crossing routes through the heart of the defense. The passing game has allowed the 3rd year RB to develop into a dangerous receiver out of the backfield. Add in Hester and Johnny Knox, and this offense has the potential to lead the league in passing.

On defense, the Bears spent a lot of money in the offseason acquiring Julius “Giardiniera” Peppers. This dude is a grown ass man. Outside of being the only reason to watch a Panthers game the last 3 years, Julius is at the tail-end of his prime, and his career should end in Canton. The Bears have Brian Urlacher back, for now. Urlacher has been the backbone of this defense for most of the past decade, similar to what Sean Murphy (10:18 mark) offered to the Little Giants. Also assisting on the defensive side is “Peanut” Tillman. I haven’t watched enough Bear games in my life to know what the story is on this guy, but any grown man with the nickname ‘Peanut’ either lives in his mother’s basement playing Xbox 360 or someone who you should avoid at all costs. I’m going with the latter for this guy.

The Packers enter Soldier Field with the perfect start to a season filled with high expectations. Leading the Packers is their Pro Bowl quarterback Aaron Rodgers. Rodgers has had a dream start to his career, evidenced by Chris Fehrenbach’s unforgettable stat that Aaron ‘is the first quarterback in NFL history to throw for 4,000 yards in his first two seasons’. The only thing Aaron can’t quite get down is facial hair. Dude’s facial hair reminds me of Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused. The Packers offense took a hit in week 1 when Ryan Grant went down with a season ending injury. Has there been a more anonymous 1,200 yard rusher in NFL history? In any event, the Packers still have the dynamic duo of Donald Driver and Greg Jennings on the outside. If Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens are ‘Batman and Robin’, these two are Riggs and Murtaugh from Lethal Weapon. The only thing more common for the two, other than catching passes, is flashing beaming smiles that would make any Crest commercial proud. The biggest question on Monday will be if Brian ‘baby’ Bulaga ‘and the deep blue sea’ can keep Peppers from decapitating Rodgers.

The Packers defense is talented and lead by reigning Defensive POY Charles Woodson. Assisting Woodson on the defensive side is certifiably crazy Clay Matthews. This hippy haired, cave man currently leads the league in sacks and shampoo consumption, and is on pace for a record shattering 48 sacks. Of course, the ‘Matts’ know this would be an impossible feat, and don’t expect this trend to last all season. The rest of the defense experiences relative anonymity outside of Jarett Bush. Jarett has been burnt more times than ‘Karl Marx, Beacon for Our Times’. He never escapes the chagrin of the Matts on game day.

Our Final Prediction – Green Bay 21 Chicago 13
This one is a little more defensive than most people predict, with the Packers surviving a late Jay Cutler drive that ultimately ends in an interception.

An Irish Blessing

Now I know after nearly two decades in the NBA, the Bulls new coach Tom Thibodeau was a smart man. But after Wednesday and the signing of former Celtic Brian Scalabrine, I'm willing to nominate him for the Fields Medal. As thousands of Irish Catholic Bostonians mourned the streets with sadness and spilled Guiness after the loss of a 'true Celtic', Bulls fans from Huntley to Cicero rejoiced in unison. Now, you may be asking yourself, how does a guy who averages 3.3 PPG for his career carry precious weight? The answer is very simple. Scalabrine has been to the NBA finals three times in his tenure with the Nets and Celtics, and Tom Thibodeau knows the role Scalabrine will play on the 2010 Bulls. Remember at those Shaq-n-Kobe Laker team parades when Mark 'Mad Dog' Madsen got up in front of about 4 million and jovially did the cabbage patch dance? That my friends, is what Brian Scalabrine delivers to the new look Bulls. Maybe the Bulls somehow land Melo, maybe they don't. As far as I'm concerned, we put all of our eggs in a basket (no pun intended) filled with emotion, togetherness, and one thick, white headband.

Every now and then, a player of Scalabrine's type finds himself in the NBA. You know who I'm talking about--hustle guys in college who do all the intangibles you need to be successful at the college level (i.e. Lucas Johnson-Illinois, Brian Cardinal-Purdue, Brian Zoubek-Duke). These guys have taken more charges than Mark Cubans credit card over the course of their careers, and give your team that needed edge come early summer during the NBA playoffs. Brian Scalabrine is 'the guy' who created 'that guy'. Ironically hailing from the same city in California as hip-hops own Snoop Dog in Long Beach, California, Scalabrine somehow dodged the lead role in Malibu's Most Wanted and put together a college career worthy of an NBA roster spot. In that time, Brian has done nothing but bring an unmatched intensity to the teams he has been a part of at the professional level, ultimately culminating in a championship season with the Boston Celtics.

The secret behind Thibodeau's new acquisition is that he may be the most versatile player in the NBA. For instance, say Scal goes down with a pulled hammy in week 1, he can summon The War at Home's Michael Rappaport to sit in on the Bulls bench for a few weeks and no one will have a clue. If Scalabrine feels the wear and tear of a grueling NBA season at the All-Star Break, Thibodeau can reinvent Scalabrine's youth with Cole Hauser's character from Good Will Hunting. He's got it all figured out. Barring a Rudy Gay number switch to 69, the Bulls are now in possession of the NBA's most innuendo-laden jersey in BOOZER, perhaps the league's ugliest player in Joakim Noah, and the most impassioned bench cheerer in the NBA in the one and only, Brian Scalabrine.

As for pick of the day, the Rays/Yanks game is still in the 5th inning during the writing of this blog, so we'll post the result in tomorrow's piece. For tomorrow night, the Pulse Man likes the over in the meaningless Pirates/Cardinals game in Pittsburgh. After all, Jeff Suppan is pitching, he's chalk for the 9 runs himself.

Pick of the Day: Cardinals @ Pirates- total runs-9-OVER

Record:(21-13-0)

Attempted Bat-tery

In one of the most bizarre sports occurrences since Greg Oden officially became world renowned as a cell phone photographer, Cubs outfielder Tyler Colvin has been placed on the disabled list for the rest of the year due to a punctured chest from the stray end of a broken bat. Earlier this week in Florida, Colvin nonchalantly jogged towards home from 3rd base after a base-hit from Cubs catcher Welington Castillo (if you gave up on the Cubs in August, you might be wondering who this is? I don't blame you) and unknowingly walked right into a Louisville Slugger that looked as if it were javelin'd from section 245. I understand this is not a laughing matter, and thankfully Colvin is ok, but to say that his abrupt end to the 2010 season was anything but completely abnormal would be far from the truth. The fact is however, Colvin was one of the 2010 Cubs' most productive bats (no pun intended) this year, and is a cornerstone in their September youth renaissance that prompted thousands of Wrigleyville apartments to blast "Wake me up when September ends" instead of the effervescent "Go Cubs G0".

With the constant disappointment and ultimate distress that the 2010 Cubs provided us with, Colvin was a dependable bright spot in the Cubs lineup. And, even though he had a few instances in right field this season in which he looked like Mr. G from Summer heights High attempting to play a flyball, his overall attitude, effort, and consistency proved him to have a more productive bat than the ever-incapable Kosuke Fukudome, who is only praised by Cub fans for his ability to draw woks (did I mean walks? Naaa)

Colvin finished up the season hitting a respectable .254 with 20 HR and 56 RBI's after appearing in only 6 games the year before. After Theriot and Fred Durst's soul patch were shipped to LA in July, TyCo made a serious case in vying for the next jersey purchase of mine. It is nice to see a former Cubs first rounder (13th overall in 2006 out of Clemson) produce on the big league club instead of being shipped for some casual outfielder with a careless demeanor as we watch the intangible attributes of our former prospects succeed in a different city. Hopefully, once Tyler fully recovers from the initial shock of being inadvertently struck in the chest with a flying, wooden bat and the countless amount of splinters that seemingly followed, he can concentrate on being a positive contributor to the 2011 Cubs, which are still on their first date with success next year.

As for Pick of the Day, The Pulse Man's 'bet against Bush' campaign seems to work in betting against the Milwaukee Brewers, and perhaps the Texas Rangers (never really thought about it). Still, the Pulse Man is back to 8 games over and tomorrow night likes the under in the Rays/Yanks developing AL East rivalry which is set at 10 1/2.

Pick of the Day: Rays @ Yankees- Total Runs 10.5-UNDER (-100)

Record:(21-13-0)

A Fresh Cut

Well, lets review what we didn't think was going to happen two weeks ago. First, Tyler Colvin is in stable condition in a Florida hospital after getting a punctured chest from a flying baseball bat!?! More shocking however, the Chicago Bears are 2-0 and Jay Cutler is the highest rated QB in the NFL. Two weeks ago, you would have had a better chance of convincing me that Justin Bieber got caught dropping acid at the VMA's, but it's true and right now Cutler might as well be Mike Ditka, Walter Payton and the Easter Bunny all at once. Now, on the horizon lurks the 'best thing since shredded cheese' in Wisconsin's Green Bay Packers and the lead singer from Guns N Roses who has peculiarly turned into a Packers starting linebacker.

The Bears have slayed the weak (Lions), the apparently strong (Cowboys), and now look to take the stone from their pocket and sling it toward the NFL's Goliath. Although the Bears had their share of doubters after their week 1 win in which they needed help from Shaun Hill and ultimately the NFL rulebook to secure the W, the Bears legitimately looked like an elite NFC team against the Cowboys. On display was the Bears' speed on the edges, their quarterbacks precise,yet powerful arm, and the leagues best rushing defense (56 rush yds. in 2 games). The Bears may have slid through by the skin of their teeth in week 1, but they're 2-0. And, although their combined opponents are 0-4, they can only play who's on their schedule. The Bears have their fair share of critics--most of whom live in a town named after a Native American tribe and drink beer cheese soup out of Styrofoam cups on Sunday afternoons. The Packer Backers want to give them a test, what better stage than Monday Night Football? Besides the constant annoyance of Ron Jaworski's voice, it's safe to say that the 'showdown in the spaceship' should be a good watch on Monday Night.

However, in order to get to this point, the Bears have had to ride the arm of Jay Cutler. The same guy who was the blanket of blame for the Bears' disappointing season a year ago now has the keys to McCaskey's castle. This might be the first team in the history of football that might attract Perez and Paris Hilton to watch the same football game. Without the darts Cutler threw in the first two weeks, the Bears could easily be treading water with a Green and Gold tidal wive fast approaching. Instead, Bear fans have a renewed sense of confidence in #6 and are holding onto the home/underdog/conference game trifecta that often proves to be so valuable.

With a Bear/Packer preview blog coming tomorrow, this blog serves as simply a prelude to the big show. As for pick of the day, The Pulse Man had a rough Saturday (missing both parlays by one point-Minnesota and NIU shockingly covered) but managed to finagle a teaser win for the second straight week on Sunday. Tomorrow night, he likes the Reds to once again embarrass Dave Bush tomorrow at (-110).

Pick of the Day: Reds @ Brewers- REDS-moneyline (-110)

Record:(20-13-0)

Desert Hawks

Although technically Iowa football isn't Chicago Sports, Illinois and Iowa do share a border. And,I figured enough suburban Chicago high school students underachieve on their ACT and look to the Iowa City Ped Mall and ultimately the University of Iowa for solace, happiness, and some passionate college football. If you think that I am debasing the undergraduate enrollment at Iowa in any way, you're wrong. I didn't get in. But hell, I visited enough times in college and attended more classes (1, college level Math course. If you don't believe me, email jack.groot@coyotelogistics.com) than Pierre Pierce, so I consider myself an alumnus. With the lofty expectations for the football team still high after beating Eastern Illinois (didn't cover, Spoo's a genius) and then subsequently embarrassing Iowa State in Kinnick like they were playing Liotta, Costner, and James Earl Jones (Amy Madigan-ISU cheerleader) in a backyard football game at the Kinsiella farm in Dyersville. Still, in order to keep their BCS hopes alive, Iowa must ditch the sweet corn and stuffing pre-game meals and travel down to the desert to face Arizona. Where the weather and salsa are hot, but often times the 3rd year psychology students are hotter--sounds like trouble for Ricky Stanzi.

On paper, Iowa no doubt looks like chalk in this match up. The Hawks boast maybe the most otherworldly front 4 in college football in Binns, Ballard, Clayborn and Klug. Iowa's defense has put pressure on the quarterback without blitzing, which will be a complete shift in gears for Arizona pretty-boy QB Nick Foles, who has faced only the illustrious defenses of the Citadel, and the Toledo Rockets (seriously thinking about whether the Houston Rockets could formulate a better football team, Yao's a big target at TE, Aaron Brooks a shifty back, Battier a tough, heady QB...nevermind). I'm thinking when Foles sees Adrian Clayborn in his personal space, one of those 'shifting too many gears at once so the chain falls off and now you're pedaling rapidly but going nowhere' type situations occur and his 174.7 QB rating drops at least Eight Below his normal average. Still, Arizona is a well-coached team and coach Mike Stoops comes from a proven family of winners (shout out Matt DeMars), so with Arizona Stadium (where the Cardinals play as well) rockin' loud as soon as all the house drugs kick in for the U of A fans, the Wildcats certainly won't roll over and die. Also, Stanzi and Foles' haircuts are getting worse by the week, something's gotta give.

But if Iowa fans are feeling nervous at all about Saturday night's game in the desert, it is because Ricky Stanzi and the 'Stanziball' are still yet to rear its ugly head this season. If there is any way Iowa could lose to an inferior team on the road, Rick and the 'Stanziball' could be what does Iowa in. If you're not sure what I mean when I'm referring to the 'Stanziball', think about this: Stanzi had a pick 6 in 4 different games last year (Arizona, Michigan, Arkansas St.?!?, and Georgia Tech). The last thing Iowa needs is to be locked in a defensive, field position battle in the first half and have Stanzi come in and drop one of those arid passes into Arizona's secondary and have them run away with the momentum. Now, Stanzi has been near perfect so far this year, except for that hiccup fluke torn ACL he almost suffered in week 1 against that stingy, EIU D. So, with his completions (29-41), yards (433), and TD's (3) piling up, that 'Stanziball' is just lurking in Stanzi's shoulder waiting to come out. Iowa fans know, they don't want to mention it. Because every time Stanzi drops back Saturday night, the theme from JAWS will be playing in the collective minds of Iowa. Now I know Stanzi watches plenty of film between Thursday Night 'smush sessions' with Iowa coeds in the Union Bar bathroom, but I'm telling you, it's coming, maybe not this week, but it's coming.

Still, I think Iowa will rely enough on the dual ground attack of Adam Robinson and the newly reinstated Jewel Hampton enough to keep Stanzi throwing safe routes to his big TE Allen Reisner, and wideouts Marv McNutt and DJK. So overall, I think Iowa wins in this Big-10/Pac-10 showdown in the desert. In fact, on some betting websites Zona is getting a point. But, I'm still thinking black and yellow (pending a Stanziball) with a final score of Iowa-24 Arizona-13. There you have it, go hawks.

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man's fall from grace this week has been a harsh reality check with the weekend football spread lying ahead of him. Below he has listed the Saturday 6 pack, complete with his 'big ticket' Pick of the Day for Saturday, as well as the Sunday teaser in which he started (1-0) last week. Let's see how the weekend shapes up in both college and professional football.

Saturday 6 pack:

2 team parlay: Illinois (-7) vs. NIU, Alabama (-24)@ Duke - (+281)

3 team parlay: USC (-12)@ Minnesota, Nebraska (-3) @ Washington, Northwestern (moneyline)@ Rice - (+411)

Big Ticket Pick of the Day: Iowa (+1)@ Arizona (-105)

Sunday Teaser

7 point teaser: Eagles, Colts, Falcons- (+140)

Record: (20-13-0)

Body of Crist

Normally on Sundays in churches across the Midwest,most Catholics are snacking on those 'body of Christ' wafer crackers that taste like flavorless, heavy-duty, construction paper. But after last week, ND's devout fans are congregating in their parish either praying that the body of Irish quarterback Dayne Crist remains in tact, or drinking enough of the 'blood of Christ' wine so they don't remember watching Nate Montana throw any more passes on Autumn afternoons this fall. Last week, Michigan and Notre Dame restored their rivalry on a significant stage and brought the annual meeting of these two esteemed programs back into national relevance. A revamped Michigan offense outlasted the Irish 28-24 in South Bend as Denard Robinson officially turned in his candidacy for the Heisman Trophy, funny how this happened before he ever turned in a test, or attended a class at the University. Yet we learned last week that Notre Dame must protect their quarterback in order to maintain a respectable season and avoid losing to the military academies for the 2nd straight year while leaving tons of young, catholic children to become Boston College fans in the process.

When Dayne Crist went down briefly last week with an injury to his eye, in walked junior Nate Montana donning his father's previously retired #16 jersey on his back. If you are a Notre Dame fan,some part of you wanted Nate to come in and steal the show, partly because of his dad, and also partly because of the torment he endured this fall for being 'college' at a University that doesn't embrace undergraduate culture quite like Arizona State. Nevertheless,the offspring of one of the finest quarterbacks in the history of college football stepped in and looked about as bad as a 'Pretty Fly for a White Guy' karaoke performance in the early morning hours of a weekend. Maybe it was bad karma bestowed upon him from his Dad's trash talking and jeering of Rudy a few weeks back. Maybe he just had a bad karmalatte before kickoff. Who knows? Whatever it was, Bryant Kelly was about to personally perform lasik on Dayne Crist's eye just to get him back into the football game. Nate Montana's stats (8-17, 104 yds.) don't necessarily describe Notre Dame's inability to move the ball while he was under center. But, when Notre Dame absolutely needed a score, Kelly summoned Crist into the game with his "put on some goggles, get a facemask shield, I don't care, just get us a touchdown" speech that resulted in Notre Dame taking the lead in the 4th quarter with little time to go. It has recently come out that Crist played the crucial minutes of the 4th quarter while enduring some 'blurred vision'. Perhaps it was the same 'blurred vision' that led to national head lines for Nate Montana this summer.

Still, Denard Robinson came in and lead the Wolverines down the field for the go-ahead touchdown which turned out to be the game winning score. Regardless of whether his shoes were untied, quite frankly, who cares? Notre Dame's defense couldn't corral Robinson as he danced into the hearts of Big Blue fans when they escaped Notre Dame Stadium with a victory (just be careful Denard, there were a lot of Tate Forcier jerseys purchased before the Wolverines fell apart a year ago). Although it's excruciating to hear announcers consistently reference his inability to tie his shoes, which might be the single most over-analyzed uniform preference in the history of collegiate athletics, Michigan is fun to watch with Denard calling the shots.

Bottom line is however, if Dayne Crist goes down, the Irish season can be flushed with the same hand. Nate Montana might be a legacy at ND, and he may even get his own shoe endorsement from Skechers before it's all said and done and ND. But, he will never overtake Dayne Crist's job as starting QB, as long as he keeps up his 32-51, 482 Yds. 3TD, 157.62 QB rating year he has put together thus far. Let's hope he stays in one piece. "Notre Dame our mother, pray for us"

As for Pick of the Day, The Pulse Man simply forgot how terrible Mark Sanchez is. After one game, he has 74 more pass yds. and the same amount of TD's as Scott Disick (Disick could be a fantasy monster) and therefore Braylon Edwards didn't cover his receiving yards player prop. For tomorrow, The Pulse Man likes the over in tomorrows UConn/NC St. Thrusday night special which is 55 points set at (-110). Hopefully he can get back on track.

Pick of the Day: UConn @ NC St. Total Points 55-OVER

Record:(20-12-0)

Aboard the Lovie-boat

In what a lot of people called a must-win game for Bears Head Coach Lovie Smith, he delivered. And after it was over, he responded like he always does--dispassionately, and like it was some sort of accident. After all, that is exactly how the Bears will begin the 2010 season, by complete accident. What Sunday afternoon prepared us for is what will undoubtedly be a rocky ride for the captain of the Bears' ship this season. Every turn of the helm by Cpt. L. Smith will be scrutinized so closely by Bears fans that it will run "the Love Machine" straight out of town. Whether or not this ship sails into a behemoth iceberg in the next 3 weeks (otherwise known as @Dallas, Green Bay, @NYG), or Cutler keeps his guests aboard as blissful as a Carnival Cruise Line remains to be determined. Now I'm sure if you would have told Lovie when he popped out of his giant, four poster bed Sunday morning that Cutler and Forte would put up big numbers, Julius Peppers would strangle Stafford into a sling in the 2nd quarter, and Calvin Johnson would be so mad that steam was rising from his skull cap like a pot of boiling water at the end of the game, Lovie could look forward to a stress free afternoon. Instead, he found himself in an NFC North battle that wouldn't be decided until the final minute, and even then, it would be decided by a foot locker employee disguised as an NFL referee.

As much as you can talk about how Calvin Johnson's catch/non-catch could have won the game for the Lions, there were many opportunities to be had by both teams. For instance, I think the Lions win if Stafford keeps his jersey on his back on the sidelines (I don't even care if he played, I just think that putrid dri-fit cutoff they kept showing him in really distracted the Lions). Jahvid Best looked tough in the first half becoming the smallest athlete to wear #44 since the Pistol Pete era, but disappeared in the 2nd half with the emergence of Shaun Hill. Go figure. And, although Cutler put up some gawdy numbers, he and the Bears offense only registered 19 points against arguably the worst back 7 in football. However, their front 4 and co. made a huge stand in the 4th quarter stopping the Bears from gaining a ruler's length with the football which would have registered a touchdown for the home team and virtually sealed the game. Both teams had bad turnovers which could have cost them the game, but didn't. Everyone expected the Lions to be improved, and they were. They will most likely amass more wins this season than they did in the entire years of 2008 and 2009 (2) if they can get Stafford back relatively soon. As for the Bears, they escaped a trap game week 1, and whenever you can get to 0:00 with a lead in those situations in the NFL, you take em. Nobody wanted a moral victory yesterday and although a victory at the expense of a technicality in the rules isn't exactly dining at Ruth's Cris, it's not exactly Hardees (losing to the Lions @ home in week 1 has got to feel like choking down an unnecessary triple thick-burger).

Now, the Bears are off to Dallas in what can be seen as a winnable game after last night. However, the Bears need to do a few things on offense: A) establish Hester (thrown to 1 time Sunday). If you want him to be an electric punt returner--great! I'm all for it. But, if you want him to be your #1 receiver, you have to throw to him. Just don't have him be absolutely forgettable at both. B)Get points in the Red Zone (No Cutler INT's, Greg Olsen fumbles, or shanked Robbie 'field' Goulds inside the opponents 20). And C) Defend like they did last week against a much better offense. That's the only time this season the Bears are going to face someone as bad as Shaun Hill, unless Jake Delhomme gets traded mid-season. After all, the Bears are atop the NFC North as of right now and the Lovie-boat is smooth sailing .

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man came through again on Friday as the Rangers defeated the World Champion Yankees in extra innings. His Saturday 6 Pack was a little shaky winning only 2 out of 5 games and none of the 3 bets. Still, he regrouped on Sunday and came through on his teaser. His weekday winning streak is still running strong at ten games. Tonight, he likes another player prop and is betting Braylon Edwards to be over 45.5 receiving yards at (-125)

Pick of the Day: Braylon Edwards Total Receiving Yards 45.5- OVER

Record: (20-11-0)

Sunday Tease

Pulse Mans Sunday teaser is the following:

7 point Teaser: Giants, Titans, Dolphins

Melo Out

Although previously I was almost completely content with the Bulls roster and was anxiously awaiting the emergence of D.Rose, the Boozehound, and Benny T. Bull storming onto the hardwood of the UC, the emerging presence of Carmelo Anthony donning red and black next year has got me feeling like I'm impersonating Dickie V in the halls of a public library. The free agent summer of 2010 can be relinquished! So, if the holy triumvirate (sorry, in this case I'm not talking about Rush) start stealing titles and LeBron is showering in his own glory like Neve Campbell does with a bottle of Vidal Sassoon, Chicago can still think, "Hey, we still have a guy who's married to an MTV VJ (LaLa), Miami can never take that from us."

It's become clear Melo wants out of the Mile High City. After 7 seasons of being surrounded by the absolute WORST locker room guys in the NBA (K-Mart, J.R. Smith, Iverson, Birdman!?!), Melo understandably wants to clear his head from the immeasurable amount of secondhand marijuana smoke that has suffocated in the Nugs (no pun intended)locker room. Seriously, the Nuggets go through more grass during a 3 game road trip than the entire 'Up in Smoke' tour went through in an entire summer. First and foremost, Carmelo wants to get out of the West. He's sick of averaging 28.5 PPG during the regular season just so he can watch Nene (believe it or not, overall pick # 7 in 2002) miss a bunch of uncontested layups in the Nuggets best effort to become a first round casualty for the 6th time in 7 years. I don't blame him for wanting out. He sees all of his buddies in Miami lounging in 20,000 seat arenas with their friends, shooting trick shots in practice, sharing a good laugh, and then capping it all off with a practical,locker room prank on Zydrunas Ilgauskas as he playfully laughs it off in his best Andre the Giant impersonation. If that isn't what every star athlete longs for, then I don't know what is. Carmelo deserves to get out of Denver, unless he is unbeknownst to us an avid fan of the slopes and wants to continue to shred powder until Kobe retires so he can have a legitimate chance of seizing the Western Conference.

But, for Bulls fans to be sitting, waiting, wishing for Carmelo to capriciously sign with the Bulls, you might as well waste your time listening to Jack Johnson's Curious George CD--or something equally as appalling. Every time a highly esteemed and trendy free agent hits the market, rumors fill the air and our hopes get built up only to see them crumble in the end like a bunch of wooden, jenga blocks. First it was T-Mac in 2002, then Kobe was fictionally headed to the Windy city, then KG, then Bosh and Wade, and then finally LeBron. It really has become tiresome. The Bulls have an uncanny knack for finding themselves as possible destinations for every marquee free agent, and consistently can't close the deal (not the only time that's been said about Krause). Wishing for the Bulls to sign Carmelo is like wishing for Santa Clause to bring you tickets to the Masters in April, and as Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino so eloquently put it Thursday night, "Santa Clause is DEAD!"

As for pick of the day, The Pulse Man did it again last night. He has now extended his career-long 'pick of the day' streak to 9 by calling the under on Reggie Bush's all purpose yardage. Heading for a double-digit streak, he likes the Rangers over the Yankees tonight at (-139). Also, posted below is his 'Saturday 6 pack'. And,if you're like most teenage females and can't get enough of the Pulse Man, keep a close eye out for a teaser before Sunday morning's NFL games.

Pick of the Day: Yankees @ Rangers- RANGERS-moneyline (-139)

Record:(19-11-0)

Saturday 6 Pack

2 team parlay: BYU (+1) @ Air Force- BYU, Ok. St.(-14) @ Troy-OK.ST

3 team parlay: Penn St. (+12)@ Bama-PSU, San Jose St.(+38)@ Wisconsin-SJSU, E.Michigan @ Miami (Ohio) Total-53 1/2-UNDER

'BIG TICKET PICK'-WVU (-12.5)@ Marshall-WVU

North looking Up: NFC North Football Preview

First off, let me introduce the readership of Chicago Sports Noise to today's guest bloggers. Unlike ESPN's Chris Mortensen, these guys know a thing or two about football. Chris Fehrenbach was the self proclaimed "best route runner in Waukesha county", Ryan Agnew was a hard-hitting high school safety out of the Steve Atwater school of helmet first hits, and Andy Galati...well, I just promise you he looks more like a football player than John Clayton. When reading this blog, keep in mind that 2 out of the 3 writers featured in this piece are die hard Packer fans with Brett Favre tattoos (I wish I had a link to support this, hand to the bible--this is true). So, lets just say that their skin grafts and their hearts are in different places this season. Without further ado, here is the NFC North preview blog from 3 of the biggest stat dorks I know, but also 3 of the most devoted, loyal, and passionate sports fans I have ever met. Thanks a lot guys, the floor is yours.


Green Bay Packers

Offense: This is one of the most explosive offenses in football--bar none. Aaron Rodgers is the only quarterback in the history of the NFL to surpass 4,000 yards in his first two years as a starter (Akili Smith was damn close). He has weapons from top to bottom at his disposal. Greg Jennings has emerged into a top tier wide receiver and the ageless Donald Driver can still get it done. The wild card is Ryan Grant, have never been a huge Ryan Grant fan, but he has put together a couple of 1,000 yard seasons and keeps the defense honest (unless OJ is on the opposing D, god knows that dude's guilty) with a pass first offense. Jermichael Finley, who believe it or not, is not the son of former Wisconsin Badger legend, Michael Finley, is a great young talent who has emerged as one of Rodgers favorite targets. Look to see Finley put up some scary numbers for a tight-end this season. But, to go along with their starters, they have a good mix of reserves that have positively contributed in past seasons. Players such as James Jones, Jordy Nelson, and Donald Lee give the Packers depth. Overall, when Rodgers gets in a rhythm, he is freakishly productive, and look for him to have another big year.

The key for this offense to click on all cylinders is the O-line. They had a disastrous start to the year last year and almost got Aaron Rodgers killed, but they came together and played well down the stretch. If they can stay healthy and keep Rodgers off the IR and out of a wheelchair, the Packers should definitely be favored to win the NFC North.

Defense:Last year the Pack had the number two ranked defense in the NFL, but that number can definitely be deceptive. Ben "No means NO" Roethlisberger put up half a G on the pack and Kurt Warner lit em up for over 2 Jackson's and a Hamilton (50)in points. The secondary is the big question mark for the Green and Gold on D. With Al Harris rehabbing from knee surgery, there are a lot of unproven players that need to step up on the big stage. The Packers D definitely needs Nick Collins to stay healthy. Additionally, Chuck Woodson had a career year last season and returned to the freak athlete ball-hawk he was when he stole the Heisman at Michigan. Another name to keep your eye on is Clay Matthews, who is transitioning into his second year coming off a Pro-Bowl season. The overall key to the defense is getting pressure on the passer. Much like the Vikings do such a phenomenal job of that, the Pack are the opposite as they put a lot of pressure on the secondary in coverage. Look for these players to buy into the second year of Dom Capers system and show serious signs of improvement--lending them to be, once again, the best team in the NFC North.

Special Teams: The special teams in Green Bay weren't very good last year--needless to say, they were Special Ed. They rolled the dice on undrafted rookie Sam Shields from the U, but he is diagnosed with Petey Jones syndrome and can't hold onto the football. Right now, Jordy Nelson is the designated return man. But, if his receiving duties increase, look for the Packers to make a switch while coincidentally listening to the Will Smith song, "Switch". Mason Crosby will be doing the kicking duties and is looking for a bounceback season after he shanked some late-season kicks badly in 2009. All in all, the Packers won't be relying on their special teams to win them any games--they are just hoping they don't lose any.

Coaching:Mike McCarthy is looking to garner his first playoff win in the post-Brett Favre era. McCarthy has done a good job since coming to Green Bay. The team took a step backwards in Rodgers first year as a starter, but they rebounded very well last year by finishing 11-5 and losing in the wild card round to Kurt Warner, his wife, his bible, and the Arizona Cardinals. McCarthy has taken a bit of criticism in allowing his players to commit too many penalties, and sex scandals in the Wisconsin Dells, but he has done a great job grooming Aaron Rodgers into superstardom (now we just have to hope someone grooms his facial hair). Capers is a proven winner in the 3-4 defensive scheme, and in his second year will be looking to get this defense even tougher. Overall, McCarthy has done a good job in Green Bay, leading them to the playoffs in 2 of the last 3 seasons.

Prediction: Expectations are as high as a teenager at a Phish concert this year in Titletown. They have a great nucleus mixed with experience and youth. Aaron Rodgers is one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL with playmakers (not the ESPN TV series) around him. There are some question marks on defense and special teams but the Pack are geared up for a push at the NFC North crown and returning the Lombardi Trophy to its rightful owner--Titletown USA.

Record: 12-4
Best Case: 13-3
Worst Case: 11-5

Minnesota Vikings

Offense: The Vikings offense is extremely explosive, they have weapons all over the place, oh, and not to mention arguably the best running back in the league. Anywhere Brett goes, he seems to make the players around him better and pushes people to their absolute potential. But, it has been a rocky off-season and training camp for the Vikes. Brett is coming off ankle surgery and is entering his 84th season as an NFL quarterback, who knows if he can withstand another grueling 16 game season, again. His favorite weapons from a year ago are already becoming lost in the barren wasteland that is Minnesota. Sydney Rice will be out the first 6 games of the season with a hip injury and Percy Harvin's head injury, and marijuana intake will be monitored closely throughout the year. The NFL has been very cautious with head injuries, as they should, so who knows how much time or prescriptions for Excedrin Percy will miss. I will tell you this much, Brett will not put together the type of 40 year-old superhero season he did a year ago, especially if his two favorite weapons will be in and out of the lineup all season. Also, AP isn't off to the most fortuitous of starts himself. He passed on the team's offseason program and minicamp and dually had to miss a couple weeks with a strained hammy. This offense needs to get healthy, and stay healthy to duplicate any of the numbers they put together a season ago. Moreover, losing Chester Taylor will hurt the Vikings more than those ponytail, helmet, horn dressed idiots think. He was a stable and effective 3rd down back and was also an exceptional blocker. On the flip side, with Taylor's departure comes a more every-down AP, and let's face it--he is a man amongst boys. His ability to break tackles and turn negative into positive yardage is remarkable. I would not want to be the cornerback or safety that is assigned with the daunting task of covering AP (even if it is an island called "Revis"). If he can stay out of Childress' doghouse by securing the ball, he could put up some big, MVP-like numbers.

Defense:Last year, the Vikes had one of the best defenses in the entire NFL, and that shouldn't change much in 2010. They get after the QB better than any team in the league and that D is the reason they will be close in nearly every game this year. Their front 7 do a great job of controlling the game and keep the offense rhythmless like a white kid on the dancefloor at a suburban wedding. In their last preseason game, their second string unit forced 4 fumlbles, had 3 sacks, and had 7 tackles for loss, not to mention a goal line stand, so they are extraordinarily deep. What is essential for the Vikings is consistently putting pressure on the QB and collapsing the pocket. It is too tough for cornerbacks to hold man coverage with receivers, running backs, and tight-ends (who are built like wide-outs). I don't care if you have Austin Scott out there slinging seeds to receivers, if you have time, you can get the job done. If the Vikings D has a weakness going into the season, it is the maturity of their secondary. They don't have the same veterans against the pass who can recognize disguised coverages like Minnesotans recognize camo in woods of Mankato. These fresh-faced DB's and safeties are going to be tested early and often in a division that boasts some high-caliber receiving targets like Calvin Johnson, Greg Jennings, Devin Hester, and Donald Driver. But, once again, if their front 7 can control the game like they did a season ago, they will once again be a stingy bunch.

Special Teams:The Vikes Special Teams have a few loose ends heading into 2010. They haven't figured out who they want returning punts yet. B squared is going to get the first crack at it, but he has had a busy offseason running around VH1 with Ochocinco. They also had Darius Reynaud (I know, WHO????) back there in the preseason, but he got shipped off to the Giants last week for a few nude photos of Eli Manning's girlfriend. But, having a trustworthy kicker is the Special Teams key in the NFL, and the Vikings have one of the best in Ryan Longwell.

Coaching:I think the front office in Minnesota has done a very good job getting young talent to the twin cities. They, like the Packers, have a great mix of veterans and youth filling out their depth chart. On the other hand, I think Childress is an idiot, so you can decide. Enough said.

Prediction:It's September again and the Minnesota faithful are digging through their closets to find ridiculous home game attire, kissing their sisters, and heading to the worst venue in pro sports anxiously awaiting the first home game. Quick question Minnesotans: when was your last superbowl ring? Oh well, the T-Wolves look tough next year. Ok, I'll stop. The Vikings were one play away from the Superbowl last year and sent 9 guys (9 times, Mrs. Bueller) to the Pro-Bowl. They have one of the greats of all-time and a living legend under center, and the hardest, most punishing runner in the NFL in their backfield. They are a very talented team with a plethora of big names. On paper, you may want to crown them with the NFC North title before the season starts. But, lets not count our teeth before they come in, right Minnesota? Look for the Vikings to finish 2nd in the division, but still grabbing a Wild Card spot.

Record: 10-6
Best Case: 12-4
Worst Case: 9-7


Chicago Bears

Offense: The 2009 Bears offense was a pure disaster. It was as disoriented and misplaced as a college dormroom on a Sunday morning. After giving up three draft picks (2009 1st, 2010 1st, 2010 3rd)for Jay Cutler, it turned out that QB Kyle Orton, who they 'threw in' the trade, had a better season than Cutler. They ranked 23rd overall in offense (23rd pass, 29th rush) and left Chicago's fans frustrated in the process. They had a very below average and aging offensive line who couldn't protect their teenage daughters, let alone an NFL QB. They had virtually no legitimate targets for Cutler to throw to. On a personal level, Cutler led the NFL in INT's with 26 and Matt Forte averaged an abysmal 3.6 YPC. But that was last year. This year, the Bears once again have an ineffective and dinosaur-like offensive line, a turnover prone QB and no true offensive weapons in sight. Their best passing threat is Greg Olsen, but who knows how Mike Martz will involve him in the offense this year? Quite frankly, their receiving core is a mess and Bears management have recruited receivers based on speed alone. Will Cutler throw more interceptions than calories in a chili dog again this year? Not a chance. Still, I just don't know how it can get much better. Forte is a good and athletic back who can catch the ball well out of the backfield. Chester Taylor is a great compliment to the Bears backfield and should increase 3rd down efficiency. However, the overall lack of weapons on the offensive side of the ball will prevent any NFL defense from ever batting an eyelash.

Defense:The Bears D wasn't awful last year, but it sure wasn't anything to write home about (why would I write home anyways? I have a cell phone, I HAVE A JOB, I AM ENGAGED!). They ranked 17th in total defense after finishing 13th against the pass and 20th against the run. They only had 35 sacks and 13 INT's forced the entire year. As they have been in years past, the Bears were extremely good at stripping the football. All in all, the Bears defense wasn't bad last season, it was easily their best unit, they just weren't the turnover causing, reek havoc, monsters of the midway that they were in the mid 2000's. This season, they won't match those swarming defenses like the ones when Urlacher was in his prime, but with the addition of Julius Peppers, they could become a top-10 Defense once again. With a healthy Tommie Harris in the middle and Peppers coming off the end like a freight train, the Bears have a defensive line with two Pro-Bowl quality players. The Bears secondary is weak, that is why the health of Peppers, Harris and Urlacher is so vital to the success of this defense, and ultimately the Chicago Bears as a franchise. If all these guys can find a way to bring it every week and Peanut Tillman (what is this morons real first name?) can stay within 5 yards of someone, the Bears could have a top 10 D that could vaguely look like the the dominant units of years past.

Special Teams:Under Lovie Smith, the Chicago Bears have always had one of the best special teams units in the NFL and not much should change this season. Brad Maynard is a solid punter and Robbie Gould can split the uprights with the best of em. And Devin Hester, although not a fraction as dangerous as he was a couple of years ago, is still one of the fastest, and most illiterate players in the league. The special teams unit of the Bears is well coached, and is usually good for a few TD's throughout the season. Once again, the Bears should be in the top tier of the league's special teams squads with very good return men, coverage units, and capable kickers and punters.

Coaching:Lovie Smith is on the hot seat, no doubt about it--you can't possibly sugar coat it any more than this. If the Bears don't make the playoffs, you can book his flight at O'Hare and make him pound Vodka Tonics in some airport bar until he passes out. Even though he was AP coach of the year in 2005, and led the Bears (and Rex Grossman!!!!) to the Super Bowl in 2006, he has done little since. In today's NFL, coaches who haven't done anything for their squads lately likely are shown the door rather quickly.

Prediction: The Bears face a tough schedule in 2010 as they square off against the NFC East (Dallas, NYG, Philly, and the Skins) and the AFC East (Pats, NYJ, Fins, and the lowly Buffalo Bills). They will face the Packers and Vikings twice each and should equate (barring a miracle) 4 losses. They finished 7-9 in 2009, they added a force in Julius Peppers, but did little to improve their o-line and secondary. The Bears can expect to finish 3rd place in the division with a 7-9 record.

Record: 7-9
Best Case: 8-8
Worst Case: 6-10

Detroit Lions

Offense:You can't help but look at the Lion's roster and see improvement. But, that is probably because they literally couldn't get any worse. They have their big arm in Stafford, even though he's fat, FAT! They have their big-play wideout who spreads the field with both his height and speed, but can also make plays after the catch. The Lions also haven't had a 1,000 yd. rusher since Barry Sanders!! Just kidding, but seriously, Kevin Jones was their last one in 2004. The Lions backfield is once again full of uncertainties, but on paper it looks like they have some weapons. Kevin Jones was a "big-play" back out of UCF but is coming off an ACL tear. Jahvid Best is supposedly the "most electric player on the field" during camp but is just a rookie and was injury prone in his senior season at Cal. The O line is painfully average. Their center/leader is Dominic Raiola, who last year gave up fewer sacks than his last name has vowels. Nonetheless, a lineman from the Lions (nice alliteration) hasn't made the Pro-Bowl since 1997, and this year shouldn't be much different.

Defense:The Lions defensive unit was just plain BAD last year. But again, it looks like they are getting the right pieces in the right places..well, sort of. Due to their horrific play last year, The Lions 'won' the #2 pick in the draft and chose (obvious) the manchild that is Ndamukong Suh. Combine that with a trade for Corey Williams and the signing of Kyle Vanden Bosch and I'd say the D-line should do pretty well. The secondary is another story. Last year, their secondary was dead last in almost every statistical category. Although only one player is returning from that crew, the new guys are yet to play together as a unit. There might be some growing pains in the secondary, but since the Lions can't possibly be seen as contenders, my guess is that they choose to work (or suffer) through it instead of signing a veteran free agent.

Special Teams:All I know about the Lions special teams unit is that Jason Hanson has been kicking field goals since the Reagan campaign. Although he had minor knee surgery in the offseason and had his worst kicking season since 2001 a year ago, both he, and the NFL's worst facemask are ready for a bounce-back year. The Lions offense should put up more points this year, so if you need a 3rd kicker on your fantasy roster...Jason Hanson is a steal.

Coaching:You're not going to believe this, but once again, there's nowhere to go but up for this franchise. They ran the table in reverse in 2008, they haven't won the division since 1993 when Scott Mitchell and Herman Moore were young, and they haven't made the playoffs since 1999. They are the only team in the history of the NFL to win the coin toss and elect to play defense. The list goes on. They have had some very questionable--well, terrible draft picks in the early 2000's. Joey Harrington started the trend, but was followed by Charles Rogers and the Williams twins, who were all terrible draft picks, and even worse NFL players. Roy Williams runs too much like Robo-Cop and could never get behind the secondary and Mike Williams career fell off the face of the Earth. They have turned it around in recent years with Stafford, Pettigrew, Levy, Suh, and Best. If this onslaught of young and talented players continue to improve, the Lions wont be 'winning' any more lottery picks in the NFL draft.

Prediction:The Lions are definitely moving in the right direction, but won't be able to see the upstairs of the NFC North for a few years now as they have been summoned to the basement like a college kid returning home for Thanksgiving break. They do have some 'sneaky' talent and should steal some games from teams far more talented than they. Good days are on the horizon for the Lions. With that being said,they definitely won't be leaving home for the playoffs.

Record: 6-10
Best Case: 8-8
Worst Case: 5-11

FINAL PREDICTIONS:
PACKERS
VIKINGS
BEARS
LIONS

As for pick of the day, Pulse Man did it again last night as Joey Votto came through with an RBI and made it 8 straight. Tonight, with football spirit in full bloom, he likes the under on Reggie Bush's total rushing and receiving yards combined which is set at 60 1/2. His heads just as empty as his college trophy case now. Little known fact: The Pulse Man once bet that Reggie and Kim Kardashian (Ray J's ex) would be engaged by July 31st if the Saints won the Super Bowl. Needless to say, he lost $1.80 the hard way.

Pick of the Day: Reggie Bush combined rushing/receiving yds. 60 1/2- UNDER (-110)

Record: (18-11-0)

Caught Streaking

At this point, I'm not sure who's consistently hotter--the Minnesota Twins or the Olsen Twins. Although I'm sure Mary-Kate and Ashley would make a formidable double-play combo and provide their skipper with a swift "you got it dude" after every one of his managerial requests, no pair of Twins (not even the ones from the Coors Light football commercials) can compete with the group they have in Minnesota right now. Ozzie Guillen and his White Sox just rattled off 7 straight victories after signing Manny just to keep pace with the club from the Twin Cities and didn't gain any ground. The White Sox are going to be in this pennant race for the long haul and if they suffer too many 8 run losses to the chubbiest MVP candidate since Mo Vaughn in Miguel Cabrera and the Tigers, they might as well buy their homer hankies in bulk so they can root for the AL Central Champion Twins in October.

Every year it seems that the Sox and Twinks are in a dogfight for the AL Central crown (except in 2006 when the Tigers somehow revitalized the city of Detroit and their unemployed fans). In past years, it always perplexed me how the Twins continued to compete in one of the smaller markets in the American League. Of course in recent years, we have learned that having a high payroll is about as relevant as having a one of those virtual pets that were hot in the Clinton era in 2010 (think Rays: 25th, Cubs:3rd). But this year, the Twins have climbed the MLB payroll ladder from 25 to 11, and the results seem to be imminent. Obviously, part of this jump in cashflow going out, is due to their prodigious, 8 year, $184 Million extension they gave Joe Mauer. But, they have still managed to be effective this year with the loss of Justin Morneau to the 60 day DL and the absence of their closer, Joe Nathan for virtually the entire season. By no means am I rooting for the Twins, or supporting them against the White Sox in any way during September. But how do they manage to keep a competitive roster with 2 of their 3 best players on the DL? I understand Joe Mauer has the best sideburns in baseball and has a majestic ability when it comes to hitting a baseball. But still, are they paying their manager (isn't he Dave Thomas from Wendy's?) in triple stacks so they can finance a baseball team? Is the ghost of Bill Haywood and Lou Collins from Little Big League (funny clip, just be patient) that potent?

Perhaps the Twins simply know how to win baseball games. They only have one player hitting over .303 (Mauer-.325) but have 3 starting pitchers with over 10 wins (Pavano-16, Liriano-13, Baker-12). Maybe it's the Jim Thome curse that haunts the Sox when they share the field with the Twins this season. Whatever it is, the Sox have to win the rest of this series with the Tigers, take at least 2 from the Royals at home leading into their 3 game set at the Cell with the Twins. At that point, they should be withing a Juan Pierre relay throw (not very far) of the Twins division lead. If they can somehow find out how to stay within a handful of games the rest of the way, I trust Ozzie in late September. I don't understand what he's saying, but I trust him.

As for pick of the day, The Pulse Man did it again last night as Lincecum held the D-Backs to 3 runs and had 9 K's in way to his 13th win of the season. Riding his 6 game 'pick of the day' win streak like Toby Maguire rode Seabiscuit (I meant confidently, don't get gross), The Pulse Man has opted to go with a player prop and votes that Joey Votto will record an RBI tonight at (+110).

Pick of the Day: Joey Votto (Reds) Will he record and RBI-Must Start: YES (+110)

Record: (17-11-0)

Le-Fevour Pitch

As the entire football fan base of Chicago collectively holds their breath awaiting the matchup with Matt "Can you put bacon on that?" Stafford and the rest of the improving Detroit Lions on Sunday, the Bears are once again making some shady moves in the front office. During their final cuts, they put two Chicagoland heroes on blast as they made former NIU Heisman candidate Garrett Wolfe sweat out seeing a red tag in his locker like he was Rick Vaughn in Major League, and then cut former Benet Academy QB and the pride of Downers Grove,Dan LeFevour. Thankfully, Wolfe made the cut and survived. But Dan, on the other hand, had to ride the unemployment line for about 20 minutes until the Bengals realized how brainless Bears management is, and scooped him off waivers like an infant off the Eisenhower Expressway. Like most fans, I was palpably amp'd up when the Bears picked up LeFevour off the board in the 6th round of last years NFL Draft. Dan LeFevour was an absolute MAN in college for Central Michigan and put himself into legitimate Heisman contention while he was playing in the MAC conference, not necessarily a glowing spotlight. Listen to this guy's numbers from last year--150.26 QB rating, 28 TD's, 70% completion, 3500 yards, 7 picks. I don't care if you're playing football in an entirely Asian league, those are some serious stats. Not to mention he guided the Chippewas to the GMAC Bowl and won the game and the MVP award, and was the North Team MVP in the Senior Bowl. How did this dude ever slip to 181st overall in the Draft in the first place? Did he haphazardly run into Mel Kiper at a draft camp and knock a strand of hair out of place in his helmet-like, mousse masterpiece? Did he hit on Todd McShay's wife at a neighborhood Bennigans? This was an absolute steal for the Bears in round 6, and they CUT him?

Maybe I'm biased that LeFevour should have made the Bears roster instead of Todd Collins, whose name just happens to sound like a gin and sparkling lemonade cocktail (shout out Matt Demars). Why wouldn't I be? Todd Collins is 38 years old and was a freshman at Michigan doing gargoyles out of kegs when I was taking my first steps around my parents living room in 1990. If I had to guess, it makes most sense that Lovie Smith cut LeFevour because he didn't understand Reaganomics--hell, he wasn't even alive. LeFevour would have been the perfect backup guy for Cutler. He was someone who could motivate him to play at his best or else 'Frank from Lisle' would be calling into ESPN1000 demanding that LeFevour replace Cutler after the first half of week 1. Perhaps Cutler needed a hometown hero to jolt him into being a competitor. At this point, all we can wonder is what if? What if Cutler breaks his leg in week 3? Even worse, what if Ndamukong Suh decapitates #6 in week 1 and nothing is left of him besides his fleshy, plump body rolling around on the Soldier Field turf? Then, we must turn to a 38 year old dinosaur to run Mike Martz's offense...is Jon Kitna still a free agent?

A lot of people will wonder about Lovie's rationale in cutting LeFevour and when asked, coach will melodramatically whisper through a press conference that "Dan just didn't have what we were looking for this year and we had to do what was best for him." Then why did you draft him? He has a completely different skill set than Cutler. He's a tough, hard-nosed, competitor who was a proven winner in college--not some butterball, flop-cut loser who is more interested in making the Pro Bowl than the Super Bowl. I know LeFevour wasn't exactly Joe Montana in the preseason, but he wasn't that bad (15-32, 160 yds, 1 TD/1 INT). You need to give a 23 year old,rookie quarterback some time to grow. Let him learn the system. At least let him learn the playbook! Instead, the next time we're gonna see Dan LeFevour is wearing a Cincinatti uniform learning behind a true signal caller like Carson Palmer. That is, unless we see Dan as a guest on Ochocinco's:The Ultimate catch VH1 show, doing sit-ups in his driveway with T.O., or, completely inebriated trying to operate a boat with Cedric Benson.

As for pick of the day, The Pulse Man had a pretty admirable weekend for the first Saturday of the college football season. As a proud alumnus of Eastern Illinois, he watched his beloved Panthers and special teams mastermind Bob Spoo cover the spread at Kinnick Stadium in Iowa City, went 1/2 on his parlays (5 for 6 in overall game picks--Cincy just didn't show up for him) and won his "Big Ticket" pick of the day as BYU held on against Jake Locker and the Washington Huskies. For tonight, he likes Tim Lincecum (and his hair) to bounce back from a slumping month of August and take care of the D-backs on the road at (-130). Also, don't forget to like/follow/whatever the internet asks you to do Chicago Sports Noise facebook page.

Pick of the Day: Giants @ Diamondbacks- GIANTS- moneyline (-130)

Record:(16-11-0)