Saying Cheese

With a game that has so much hype and deliberation leading up to it, I try to distance myself from the endless interviews and tiresome coverage that Trey Wingo and his NFL Live counterparts present on the biggest event in sports for nearly two weeks. Still, it always happens; like clockwork. Here I am, sitting with my eyes transfixed on Schlereth's meticulously gelled hair in HD, finding reasons why not to root for either team. Like most games of great magnitude, this Super Bowl features two teams that I have no inclination to root for, or hastily wish the worst upon. My rule of thumb has always been that any place or event with the adjective "super" attached to the front of it, is generally awful, with the exception of course being everyone's favorite guido, Super Mario. But otherwise, Super Cuts? Super 8? The list goes on.

Now I know a lot of you people will be vehemently cheering against the Packers so that your neighbors to the north can't 'shake up the happiness' in America's Dairyland. That's fine, that's your prerogative I suppose. I just don't see it as the most logical approach. You're going to root for a completely random, dreadfully uninteresting AFC opponent instead of a division rival that you split the regular season series with? Plus, whether you want to believe it or not, the Packers have likable players. There is something to be said about a quarterback who makes Joe Buck reference the WWE every time he gets in the paint. Come on, that's a genius celebration. Who doesn't want more 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan plugs during live broadcasts? Furthermore, BJ Raji was asked this week by a reporter if he saw himself as "an inspiration to fat people everywhere." Raji and Jared Fogle are double-teaming morbid obesity. That means they are trying to curb your eyes from seeing 430 lb. naked bodies in the Y locker room and human orcas from taking up two airplane seats on your yearly vacation flight, what's not to love? 'I Used to be Fat' and Heavyweights re-runs can't do it all, Raji needs a platform.

I was completely comfortable with my allegiance on the side of the Green Bay. Say what you want about Packer fans. I know they can be obnoxious and I understand that they can be impossible to reason with after 4 beers, but I'll be damned if I ever questioned the passion of a Packer fan. For the most part, they're knowledgable about their squad. Partly because these people live their lives through the team that their state puts forth on Sunday and partly because the Brewers still have Dave Bush in their starting rotation. You can't say that Packer fans don't embody Midwestern values to the core. Passion, loyalty, blue-collar success. This game represents Midwest vs. Northeast, Dairy vs. Steel, Laura Ingalls Wilder vs. Andrew Carnegie. I sided with the green and gold because their fans deserve another one, after all, they own the team...literally. And, because the last time they won the Lombardi trophy, Paul Hittman was an unsullied pre-teen poppin 3-D Doritos in his family's basement.

Then came Lil Wayne and this repugnant remix rant he calls "Green and Yellow". For some odd reason, Packer fans have embraced this illiterate anthem with open arms like it was LeRoy Butler springing for a Lambeau leap. In all honesty, I couldn't have been more disappointed. First in Weezy, for abandoning his hometown Saints to plug the pride and joy of a state that he has probably never traveled to, or at least ever remembered traveling to. But most of all, I am disappointed in Packers fans. It would have been one thing to rejoice if Chris Cagle concocted a cheesehead anthem for Packer fans to bask in, or even Adam Lambert. At least the style of music that these people represent could realistically coincide with the values of Wisconsin. Instead, Wayne has caused posers from Platteville to Park Falls to echo his sentiments as their facebook statuses. I never minded seeing a Packer fan dressed from head to toe in blaze orange or Realtree camo, at least they knew their own identity. Come on man. Think about how Favre would look in a flat bill, or Bart Starr with a box-top, is that really what 'green and yellow' represents?

In the end though, I'm still pulling for the Pack. In my book, you pull for the team who knocked you off your peg. You root for your division and your conference, even if that means your rival. 27-24 Pack.

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man will be posting an entry later on today with all of his Super Bowl prop bets. I advise you to fade him with caution because I know that last year he lost money based on the fact that Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian were not engaged by February 1st following a Saints win. Seriously, the Super Bowl brings out the worst in people.

Record:(52-37-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Bear Necessitites

Be careful what you wish for. The Pulse Man put the his nickels and dimes on Aaron Rodgers Saturday night and right on queue, the Packers QB ended up "airin" it out (no pun intended) on the Dirty Birds and dropped a 48 on the Georgia Dome scoreboard. Now, what has transpired in the NFC Championship is a game of epic proportions. Not even the gum-flapping, unceremonious squad of Jets in NYC can upstage what's goin' down in Chi-town next Sunday afternoon (In honor of MLK day, I'm randomly peppering this blog with Ebonics). The Bears and the Packers, January, bright lights, Troy Aikman announcing while comparing every minuscule game detail to his own career that ended a decade ago. Is this heaven? No, it's the NFC.

Truth be told, everyone and their brother penciled the Packers in as the NFC representative in Dallas next month, but the only people in Vegas that bet on the Bears to make it to February were a couple of lushes from Lombard who had money to blow after winning a few lucky spins of Roulette. In all fairness to the Pack, they bounced back from losing their starting running back, their freak tight end, a core linebacker and countless others, so there stock dropped lower than Liz Claiborne Inc. at certain spots this year. In fact, Green Bay's training room at the halfway point of the season looked like a scene for Kate Beckinsale's character (Nurse Evelyn Johnson) in Pearl Harbor. In the Bears' case, nobody trusted Cutler to will his team to the NFC title game, even with the cakewalk Seahawks at home in January. At the start of the season, nobody even trusted Cutler to throw a vortex, and now he's the captain of this crew's stunning rise to power this season. Don't uproot the tree before you taste the fruit, amirite?

With all these heartwarming story lines in play this weekend, we must be reminded of certain key points. For instance, either the Packers are going to make the Super Bowl with the Brandon Jackson/James "Don't call me John" Starts platoon in their backfield, or the Bears are going to strut into Dallas Stadium with Hester and Knox as their starting wideouts. Whichever the case, it will undoubtedly be the worst backfield/receiving core in the history of the sport. I'm just glad those geezers from the Visa commercial will be in attendance.

As the bad blood between Bear and Packer fans spreads from Burbank up to Baraboo, west to Lacrosse and down through Lake Villa, I am leaving Chicago Sports Noise as an open forum for people to voice their own opinions throughout the week. You have a prediction? Lay it on me. You have insight into how you think the game is going to play out? Share the word. If you just want to make fun of Wisconsin people for having Madison as their state's mecca, by all means, use this blog as your avenue. To have something posted, just email chicagosportsnoise@gmail.com (this account has never received a non-span email, so needless to say I'm excited), or tweet @frostyaustin (definitely the option most in touch with 2011). And lastly, let us try to keep the vulgarity at a minimum. I mean, come on, it's MLK day.

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man likes the 'Cuse getting 6 at Pitt. Granted, Jamie Dixon's hair defies the laws of modern physics, but Syracuse is making a push at that numba one spot!

Pick of the Day: Syracuse (+6) @ Pitt- SYRACUSE

Record:(46-32-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

Overachievers

Normally when you think of overachievers, you think of the slightly nerdy girl in your high school's Student Council that hung out at the teachers desk all period, and was dressed like she was auditioning to be in an Old Navy performance fleece commercial on a daily basis. That is all fine and good. But tonight, the overachieving 2010 Chicago Bears have been crowned as NFC North division champs! They've got a 5-0 division record heading into their final two games and have clinched a playoff spot. Granted, the Bears have caught some luck along the way, but they have no reason to apologize for their season thus far. Is it their fault the Vikings fell victim to the "Black QB/White RB/There's absolutely no way we win this game" curse? The Bears are the only team to have defeated Mike Vick when he makes it through an entire game, and have guaranteed themselves at least a split with the Packers--not too bad. Through all of the criticism, Jay Cutler has played his way through his first winning season as an NFL quarterback, and will be playing in his first career NFL playoff game come January.

Still, what feels best about the Bears securing the NFC North title Monday night was the way it must have tasted in Packer fan's mouths. The Pack were a highly touted preseason favorite to not only win the NFC North, but the NFC as a whole. ESPN's array of analysts all penciled them in as the Super Bowl representative for the NFC. They might not even make the playoffs! Our division rivals in Green Bay can now become comfortable next to Miller Lite, Megan Fox, and a decent personality in the "Overrated (clap-clap, clap-clap-clap)" column. They can blame it on the injuries, blame it on Mike McCarthy, or blame it on the a-a-a-a-alcohol. It makes no difference to me. Nobody gave the Bears a shot (not saying that I did), but they found a way to weather the storm and play their way into the postseason. What else is looking up for the Bears may you ask? A better question is, what isn't? The other division favorite this year, the Minnesota Vikings, are without a quarterback, without a head coach, without a stadium, and will be watching "Without a Paddle" airing on TBS during the early months of 2011. I think the Lions season speaks for itself, so I won't even go there. Props on beating the Packers.

With the playoff clinching in the past. The Bears can now concentrate on devising a game plan to knock off the most arrogant team in the NFL, and their obnoxious head coach, Rex Ryan, who will without question be Trimspa's next ad campaign. Would it be sweet to knock off the Pack in Week 17 heading into the playoffs? Yea it would, but it doesn't really matter, we already clinched. Wisconsinites can add the season finale to the list of meaningless sporting events they've endured in their lives along with every single Milwaukee Bucks and Brewers game since 1998. Bear the eff down!

As for Pick of the Day, the only negative from Monday night's victory was that the Pulse Man lost his bet. I'm sure everyone who reads this must have been spitting nails. For tomorrow, the Pulse Man likes the new look Magic giving 3 to the Mavs in Orlando tomorrow.

Pick of the Day: Mavericks @ Magic (-3)- MAGIC

Record:(41-28-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

Sea-Sick

What a scene it must be have been in Seattle today. Dread-locked liberals slamming $9.00 Vodka-Crans at the Space Needle Observatory Deck, hippies playing the Nirvana Nervermind CD as loud as the stereo can go in their Hyundai Sonata, and then parading around Key Arena single-file draped in Gary Payton replica jerseys shouting "Bring Back our Supersonics". After all, the Seahawks won a road game against a team not named the the St. Louis Rams for the first time since December 2, 2007 (seriously, look it up). Today they can disregard the fact that they lived in a rain-soaked city in Washington state that smells like bad coffee and reheated fish tacos. Unfortunately, this day of Seattleite euphoria comes at the expense of the Chicago Bears and their fans, two of which I saw suffocating their post-game sorrows with a 4,000 calorie burger at Five Guys. But, a silver lining remains--the NFC North has morphed from one of the most competitive divisions in football to a branch of teams whose leader can barely keep their head above water.

Just when we thought Favre and the Vikes were just a few pieces short (no pun intended) of putting together another storybook season, they're back to 2-3 (2 games behind the Bears). When we all thought the Packers were the division's runaway favorite, they have more people hurt than were injured in the production of Murderball, which has given Wisconsinites a reason to complain to no end (hey, if you don't like injuries, I hear that Milwaukee is in the running for a WNBA expansion squad, so there). And just when you were about to count out the 1-5 Lions, they return rejuvenated in 2 weeks cured from the "Staff infection" that has plagued them since the 2nd quarter of week 1. Although the Bears are still in the NFC North driver's seat, they seem to trying to send a mass text while operating the vehicle and if they're not careful could be headed towards a disastrous accident with a stationary object.

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

The Bears Are Back in Town

You gotta admit, nobody thought the Bears would be 3-0 and leading the NFC North after the season's first 3 weeks. To be honest, the first 3 games of the season can kind of be looked at as the fans of Chicago 'dating' the idea of their beloved Bears being a relevant team in the NFC. After week 1, the girl they first encountered on opening weekend looked pretty good. She had a cute outfit which made you wonder (Cutler, speed on the edges, Forte), but maybe it was only because she was simply surrounded by her DFG (dog faced gremlin, invented by one Tate Stunkel) roommate that was pushing 3 bills (the Lions) who kept giving you looks after you continuously attempted to box her out of conversations all night. Then, when you met up with the same girl the next weekend after a series of incoherent text messages, she started to grow on you a little bit as she put her 'weapons' to good use (do I really need to draw a correlation to how a female uses her weapons? think about it) and continued to impress you. Still, you were unsure of her overall endowment because you were 4 Hurricanes deep and feeling as if a 5th were to be a good idea. After two successful rendezvouses, you finally asked her to join you on a fancy, chic dinner (Monday Night Football) that would give you a definitive answer about her without the sounds of Muse blaring through the sardined bar speakers and muddling your supposedly lucid conversation. As it turns out, she didn't disappoint and left you feeling proud to be dating someone with such promise...it's still a long season. Let's see if she cheats on us with a loser computer technician next week (Eli Manning).

All meaningless metaphors aside, the Bears came to play Monday night and shocked the football world in joining the Chiefs and the Charlie Batch led Pittsburgh Steelers as the league's only unbeatens. The Bears consistently came up big in key situations. Even if it seemed to be a blindfolded Cutler throwing off of his back foot into double coverage, Greg Olsen and the rest of the Bears receivers continued to make him look like he knew what he was doing. Granted, Jay "Don't worry about my delivery, it's DiGiorno" Cutler was bailed out of two interceptions by a couple of the Packers franchise record-breaking 18 penalties. Monday night's game may not have been the most penalized football game I had ever seen, but it was certainly the game with the most individual flags thrown in the history of the NFL. Perhaps it was the blatant nature of the Packers offenses (literally going helmet first into Cutler's chin on 3rd and long, Tauscher holding on 2 consecutive plays, holding Earl Bennett like he was the high school prom date of the Packers' DB, etc.), but the Soldier Field turf looked like Koopa Troopa beach after Toad just ran threw it with a bundle of bananas in Mario Kart after each penalty.

On the offensive side of the ball, the Packers game plan was relatively easy to figure out. The Pack realized that although it is extremely interesting and presumably backwards when they hand the ball off to their white running back and a bunch of Wisconsinites gleefully respond by yelling "KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHN", they weren't going to do much on the ground Monday night. In fact, I felt as if Rodgers completed a check-down pass on virtually every play the Packers had from scrimmage. They probably did this to try and limit A-Rodg's time in the pocket so they wouldn't have to deal with Julius Peppers (who still made his presence felt by blocking a FG), but Rodgers honestly had more 7-10 yd. completions last night than Antonio Cromartie has kids (on second thought, we can't prove that). And, although it seemed as if the Packers were moving the ball with relative ease, they only put up 17 points. With that being said, the difference in the game was Devin Hester, who according to Jon Gruden has "4. don't know" speed (the broadcasters in this game were despicable and showed meaningless replays of the Bears RT and Clay Matthews who were irrelevant in the play on 4 straight downs). Last night, when he stood back there doing his sexual innuendo laden dances while waiting for the punt, shades of 2007 ran through every Bears fans head as they prayed he could pull something out, and simultaneously pull the Bears, and the home crowd back into the game...and he did. Hester was impressive and effective last night. However, neither of the aforementioned adjectives can be used to describe his haircut, which remains to be an utter atrocity. Needless to say, Packer punter Tim Masthay will have to post his resume on Monster.com and put his agriculture degree from Kentucky to work, because he sure as hell isn't going to be punting in Green Bay much longer after his series of shortcomings Monday night.

In any event, the Bears played to win last night and I respect Lovie Smith's mentality going in. Even though the 4th and 1 attempt from the goal line failed, his chutzpah (yes, that's a real word) when the game was on the line was refreshing to see. Thousands of trained professionals in the Chicagoland area were relieved with a win Monday night as they could now go to work on Tuesday and not have to listen to some six-toothed, janitorial staff, hillbilly parade around the workplace and brag about the Packers. Chalk another one up for the Land of Lincoln. Bear Down!

As for Pick of the Day, I apologize for the lack of Saturday 6-pack and Sunday Teaser from this past weekend. I was visiting friends in LaCrosse, Wisconsin and was consumed too much by flat keg beer that tasted like lukewarm chicken broth, Affliction t-shirts, and Ke$ha songs to formulate anything productive for the blog. However, tonight the Pulse Man likes Roy Oswalt and the Phils to beat the Nationals tonight on the moneyline at (-126). Anytime you can bet against the Nats on those odds, you take it.

Pick of the Day: Phillies @ Nationals- PHILLIES-moneyline (-126)

Record:(22-13-0)

Showdown at the Spaceship

Why do I keep giving the state of Wisconsin a voice? To be honest, I really don't even know. The electoral college proved to us who the government thought was the most important state in the midwest. Sorry Wisconsinites, although you beat out rival state Minnesota by one vote (11-10) and usually kick their ass in football, you're still deadlocked with the ghastly state of Tennessee and crawling 13 electoral votes behind Illinois. But, who cares about that system, it only elects the American President. When it comes to blogging, I'm an equal opportunity employer. That is why when it comes to football and previewing the big Packers vs. Bears Monday Night Football showdown, I left it up to two of my friends from college to formulate the preview. To humbly introduce these two bloggers, you need a brief background of the people they are and the voice they represent. Matt Meyers is a former Dairyland farm hand who was raised on only a few things--hard work, hand grease, and the CCR Greatest Hits CD. His uprbringing was prided on the 'rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey' idealogy like some sharecropper out of Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath. This nurturing has outlined his moral values and has led him to scoff at contemporary revelations like hummus, Taio Cruz, and electronic mail. On the other hand, our second blogger, Matt DeMars, is more of your new-age, 'liberalist hipster' Wisconsinite who indulges in modern phenomenons like deep-cut V neck T shirts and pomegranite lemonade. As born cynics and riotous critics, the 'two Matts' play off each other like Damon and Affleck. Aside from their conflicting ideals, these two find solidarity in something more emphatic than any other aspect of life in America's dairyland--Green Bay Packer football. Without further ado, here it is:

With the Packers and Bears facing off on Monday night, most people reading this blog probably don’t give a damn about the Sunday that preludes it. Unless, of course, you’re battling your shithead, garbage-eating roommate in this week’s fantasy match-up like I was last week (yeah, that’s right, Keagan) or you’re tuning in to HBO’s stellar, fall lineup (Boardwalk Empire and season premiere of Eastbound and Down). As much as I’m looking forward to ordering some General Tso’s and sitting on the couch all day on Sunday, I am freaking JACKED for the game Monday night.

This Packers-Bears match-up should answer a lot of questions surrounding each team, such as: Are the Packers the powerhouse that all of us (us, meaning Packers fans and most knowledgeable NFL fans) thought they would be? Are the Bears for real, or simply a flash in the pan, ala Eiffel 65? This week’s game should answer these questions, as well paint a clearer picture of the NFC North.

First of all, let’s start with the home team—The Chicago Bears:

The Bears are coming off of an impressive road win against the Cowboys, who are becoming more unpredictable than a menopausal woman’s mood swings. Their offense is 5th overall in the league, which is impressive for a team that is normally known for their defensive prowess. Jay Cutler looks to be in mid-season form, which should be relieving for Bears’ fans after last season’s debacle. Note that I said form in the last sentence, NOT shape. The guy has about as much cleavage between his two chins that his reality TV hunny, Kristin Cavallari, has between her breasts. But, whatever, she’s still hot as hell. Cutler definitely “out-kicked his coverage” on that one (pun absolutely intended). Jay is starting the throw the ball around the yard, evoking memories of Erik Kramer’s magical 1995 season. The knock on Cutler last year was the fact that he issued more Pick-6’s than the Wisconsin state lottery. If Jay can continue to avoid mistakes, he should have himself a Pro Bowl year.

Jay’s favorite target this season seems to be Greg Olsen. If this guy isn’t laying down tracks with the 7th floor crew, he’s running 12 yard crossing routes through the heart of the defense. The passing game has allowed the 3rd year RB to develop into a dangerous receiver out of the backfield. Add in Hester and Johnny Knox, and this offense has the potential to lead the league in passing.

On defense, the Bears spent a lot of money in the offseason acquiring Julius “Giardiniera” Peppers. This dude is a grown ass man. Outside of being the only reason to watch a Panthers game the last 3 years, Julius is at the tail-end of his prime, and his career should end in Canton. The Bears have Brian Urlacher back, for now. Urlacher has been the backbone of this defense for most of the past decade, similar to what Sean Murphy (10:18 mark) offered to the Little Giants. Also assisting on the defensive side is “Peanut” Tillman. I haven’t watched enough Bear games in my life to know what the story is on this guy, but any grown man with the nickname ‘Peanut’ either lives in his mother’s basement playing Xbox 360 or someone who you should avoid at all costs. I’m going with the latter for this guy.

The Packers enter Soldier Field with the perfect start to a season filled with high expectations. Leading the Packers is their Pro Bowl quarterback Aaron Rodgers. Rodgers has had a dream start to his career, evidenced by Chris Fehrenbach’s unforgettable stat that Aaron ‘is the first quarterback in NFL history to throw for 4,000 yards in his first two seasons’. The only thing Aaron can’t quite get down is facial hair. Dude’s facial hair reminds me of Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused. The Packers offense took a hit in week 1 when Ryan Grant went down with a season ending injury. Has there been a more anonymous 1,200 yard rusher in NFL history? In any event, the Packers still have the dynamic duo of Donald Driver and Greg Jennings on the outside. If Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens are ‘Batman and Robin’, these two are Riggs and Murtaugh from Lethal Weapon. The only thing more common for the two, other than catching passes, is flashing beaming smiles that would make any Crest commercial proud. The biggest question on Monday will be if Brian ‘baby’ Bulaga ‘and the deep blue sea’ can keep Peppers from decapitating Rodgers.

The Packers defense is talented and lead by reigning Defensive POY Charles Woodson. Assisting Woodson on the defensive side is certifiably crazy Clay Matthews. This hippy haired, cave man currently leads the league in sacks and shampoo consumption, and is on pace for a record shattering 48 sacks. Of course, the ‘Matts’ know this would be an impossible feat, and don’t expect this trend to last all season. The rest of the defense experiences relative anonymity outside of Jarett Bush. Jarett has been burnt more times than ‘Karl Marx, Beacon for Our Times’. He never escapes the chagrin of the Matts on game day.

Our Final Prediction – Green Bay 21 Chicago 13
This one is a little more defensive than most people predict, with the Packers surviving a late Jay Cutler drive that ultimately ends in an interception.

North looking Up: NFC North Football Preview

First off, let me introduce the readership of Chicago Sports Noise to today's guest bloggers. Unlike ESPN's Chris Mortensen, these guys know a thing or two about football. Chris Fehrenbach was the self proclaimed "best route runner in Waukesha county", Ryan Agnew was a hard-hitting high school safety out of the Steve Atwater school of helmet first hits, and Andy Galati...well, I just promise you he looks more like a football player than John Clayton. When reading this blog, keep in mind that 2 out of the 3 writers featured in this piece are die hard Packer fans with Brett Favre tattoos (I wish I had a link to support this, hand to the bible--this is true). So, lets just say that their skin grafts and their hearts are in different places this season. Without further ado, here is the NFC North preview blog from 3 of the biggest stat dorks I know, but also 3 of the most devoted, loyal, and passionate sports fans I have ever met. Thanks a lot guys, the floor is yours.


Green Bay Packers

Offense: This is one of the most explosive offenses in football--bar none. Aaron Rodgers is the only quarterback in the history of the NFL to surpass 4,000 yards in his first two years as a starter (Akili Smith was damn close). He has weapons from top to bottom at his disposal. Greg Jennings has emerged into a top tier wide receiver and the ageless Donald Driver can still get it done. The wild card is Ryan Grant, have never been a huge Ryan Grant fan, but he has put together a couple of 1,000 yard seasons and keeps the defense honest (unless OJ is on the opposing D, god knows that dude's guilty) with a pass first offense. Jermichael Finley, who believe it or not, is not the son of former Wisconsin Badger legend, Michael Finley, is a great young talent who has emerged as one of Rodgers favorite targets. Look to see Finley put up some scary numbers for a tight-end this season. But, to go along with their starters, they have a good mix of reserves that have positively contributed in past seasons. Players such as James Jones, Jordy Nelson, and Donald Lee give the Packers depth. Overall, when Rodgers gets in a rhythm, he is freakishly productive, and look for him to have another big year.

The key for this offense to click on all cylinders is the O-line. They had a disastrous start to the year last year and almost got Aaron Rodgers killed, but they came together and played well down the stretch. If they can stay healthy and keep Rodgers off the IR and out of a wheelchair, the Packers should definitely be favored to win the NFC North.

Defense:Last year the Pack had the number two ranked defense in the NFL, but that number can definitely be deceptive. Ben "No means NO" Roethlisberger put up half a G on the pack and Kurt Warner lit em up for over 2 Jackson's and a Hamilton (50)in points. The secondary is the big question mark for the Green and Gold on D. With Al Harris rehabbing from knee surgery, there are a lot of unproven players that need to step up on the big stage. The Packers D definitely needs Nick Collins to stay healthy. Additionally, Chuck Woodson had a career year last season and returned to the freak athlete ball-hawk he was when he stole the Heisman at Michigan. Another name to keep your eye on is Clay Matthews, who is transitioning into his second year coming off a Pro-Bowl season. The overall key to the defense is getting pressure on the passer. Much like the Vikings do such a phenomenal job of that, the Pack are the opposite as they put a lot of pressure on the secondary in coverage. Look for these players to buy into the second year of Dom Capers system and show serious signs of improvement--lending them to be, once again, the best team in the NFC North.

Special Teams: The special teams in Green Bay weren't very good last year--needless to say, they were Special Ed. They rolled the dice on undrafted rookie Sam Shields from the U, but he is diagnosed with Petey Jones syndrome and can't hold onto the football. Right now, Jordy Nelson is the designated return man. But, if his receiving duties increase, look for the Packers to make a switch while coincidentally listening to the Will Smith song, "Switch". Mason Crosby will be doing the kicking duties and is looking for a bounceback season after he shanked some late-season kicks badly in 2009. All in all, the Packers won't be relying on their special teams to win them any games--they are just hoping they don't lose any.

Coaching:Mike McCarthy is looking to garner his first playoff win in the post-Brett Favre era. McCarthy has done a good job since coming to Green Bay. The team took a step backwards in Rodgers first year as a starter, but they rebounded very well last year by finishing 11-5 and losing in the wild card round to Kurt Warner, his wife, his bible, and the Arizona Cardinals. McCarthy has taken a bit of criticism in allowing his players to commit too many penalties, and sex scandals in the Wisconsin Dells, but he has done a great job grooming Aaron Rodgers into superstardom (now we just have to hope someone grooms his facial hair). Capers is a proven winner in the 3-4 defensive scheme, and in his second year will be looking to get this defense even tougher. Overall, McCarthy has done a good job in Green Bay, leading them to the playoffs in 2 of the last 3 seasons.

Prediction: Expectations are as high as a teenager at a Phish concert this year in Titletown. They have a great nucleus mixed with experience and youth. Aaron Rodgers is one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL with playmakers (not the ESPN TV series) around him. There are some question marks on defense and special teams but the Pack are geared up for a push at the NFC North crown and returning the Lombardi Trophy to its rightful owner--Titletown USA.

Record: 12-4
Best Case: 13-3
Worst Case: 11-5

Minnesota Vikings

Offense: The Vikings offense is extremely explosive, they have weapons all over the place, oh, and not to mention arguably the best running back in the league. Anywhere Brett goes, he seems to make the players around him better and pushes people to their absolute potential. But, it has been a rocky off-season and training camp for the Vikes. Brett is coming off ankle surgery and is entering his 84th season as an NFL quarterback, who knows if he can withstand another grueling 16 game season, again. His favorite weapons from a year ago are already becoming lost in the barren wasteland that is Minnesota. Sydney Rice will be out the first 6 games of the season with a hip injury and Percy Harvin's head injury, and marijuana intake will be monitored closely throughout the year. The NFL has been very cautious with head injuries, as they should, so who knows how much time or prescriptions for Excedrin Percy will miss. I will tell you this much, Brett will not put together the type of 40 year-old superhero season he did a year ago, especially if his two favorite weapons will be in and out of the lineup all season. Also, AP isn't off to the most fortuitous of starts himself. He passed on the team's offseason program and minicamp and dually had to miss a couple weeks with a strained hammy. This offense needs to get healthy, and stay healthy to duplicate any of the numbers they put together a season ago. Moreover, losing Chester Taylor will hurt the Vikings more than those ponytail, helmet, horn dressed idiots think. He was a stable and effective 3rd down back and was also an exceptional blocker. On the flip side, with Taylor's departure comes a more every-down AP, and let's face it--he is a man amongst boys. His ability to break tackles and turn negative into positive yardage is remarkable. I would not want to be the cornerback or safety that is assigned with the daunting task of covering AP (even if it is an island called "Revis"). If he can stay out of Childress' doghouse by securing the ball, he could put up some big, MVP-like numbers.

Defense:Last year, the Vikes had one of the best defenses in the entire NFL, and that shouldn't change much in 2010. They get after the QB better than any team in the league and that D is the reason they will be close in nearly every game this year. Their front 7 do a great job of controlling the game and keep the offense rhythmless like a white kid on the dancefloor at a suburban wedding. In their last preseason game, their second string unit forced 4 fumlbles, had 3 sacks, and had 7 tackles for loss, not to mention a goal line stand, so they are extraordinarily deep. What is essential for the Vikings is consistently putting pressure on the QB and collapsing the pocket. It is too tough for cornerbacks to hold man coverage with receivers, running backs, and tight-ends (who are built like wide-outs). I don't care if you have Austin Scott out there slinging seeds to receivers, if you have time, you can get the job done. If the Vikings D has a weakness going into the season, it is the maturity of their secondary. They don't have the same veterans against the pass who can recognize disguised coverages like Minnesotans recognize camo in woods of Mankato. These fresh-faced DB's and safeties are going to be tested early and often in a division that boasts some high-caliber receiving targets like Calvin Johnson, Greg Jennings, Devin Hester, and Donald Driver. But, once again, if their front 7 can control the game like they did a season ago, they will once again be a stingy bunch.

Special Teams:The Vikes Special Teams have a few loose ends heading into 2010. They haven't figured out who they want returning punts yet. B squared is going to get the first crack at it, but he has had a busy offseason running around VH1 with Ochocinco. They also had Darius Reynaud (I know, WHO????) back there in the preseason, but he got shipped off to the Giants last week for a few nude photos of Eli Manning's girlfriend. But, having a trustworthy kicker is the Special Teams key in the NFL, and the Vikings have one of the best in Ryan Longwell.

Coaching:I think the front office in Minnesota has done a very good job getting young talent to the twin cities. They, like the Packers, have a great mix of veterans and youth filling out their depth chart. On the other hand, I think Childress is an idiot, so you can decide. Enough said.

Prediction:It's September again and the Minnesota faithful are digging through their closets to find ridiculous home game attire, kissing their sisters, and heading to the worst venue in pro sports anxiously awaiting the first home game. Quick question Minnesotans: when was your last superbowl ring? Oh well, the T-Wolves look tough next year. Ok, I'll stop. The Vikings were one play away from the Superbowl last year and sent 9 guys (9 times, Mrs. Bueller) to the Pro-Bowl. They have one of the greats of all-time and a living legend under center, and the hardest, most punishing runner in the NFL in their backfield. They are a very talented team with a plethora of big names. On paper, you may want to crown them with the NFC North title before the season starts. But, lets not count our teeth before they come in, right Minnesota? Look for the Vikings to finish 2nd in the division, but still grabbing a Wild Card spot.

Record: 10-6
Best Case: 12-4
Worst Case: 9-7


Chicago Bears

Offense: The 2009 Bears offense was a pure disaster. It was as disoriented and misplaced as a college dormroom on a Sunday morning. After giving up three draft picks (2009 1st, 2010 1st, 2010 3rd)for Jay Cutler, it turned out that QB Kyle Orton, who they 'threw in' the trade, had a better season than Cutler. They ranked 23rd overall in offense (23rd pass, 29th rush) and left Chicago's fans frustrated in the process. They had a very below average and aging offensive line who couldn't protect their teenage daughters, let alone an NFL QB. They had virtually no legitimate targets for Cutler to throw to. On a personal level, Cutler led the NFL in INT's with 26 and Matt Forte averaged an abysmal 3.6 YPC. But that was last year. This year, the Bears once again have an ineffective and dinosaur-like offensive line, a turnover prone QB and no true offensive weapons in sight. Their best passing threat is Greg Olsen, but who knows how Mike Martz will involve him in the offense this year? Quite frankly, their receiving core is a mess and Bears management have recruited receivers based on speed alone. Will Cutler throw more interceptions than calories in a chili dog again this year? Not a chance. Still, I just don't know how it can get much better. Forte is a good and athletic back who can catch the ball well out of the backfield. Chester Taylor is a great compliment to the Bears backfield and should increase 3rd down efficiency. However, the overall lack of weapons on the offensive side of the ball will prevent any NFL defense from ever batting an eyelash.

Defense:The Bears D wasn't awful last year, but it sure wasn't anything to write home about (why would I write home anyways? I have a cell phone, I HAVE A JOB, I AM ENGAGED!). They ranked 17th in total defense after finishing 13th against the pass and 20th against the run. They only had 35 sacks and 13 INT's forced the entire year. As they have been in years past, the Bears were extremely good at stripping the football. All in all, the Bears defense wasn't bad last season, it was easily their best unit, they just weren't the turnover causing, reek havoc, monsters of the midway that they were in the mid 2000's. This season, they won't match those swarming defenses like the ones when Urlacher was in his prime, but with the addition of Julius Peppers, they could become a top-10 Defense once again. With a healthy Tommie Harris in the middle and Peppers coming off the end like a freight train, the Bears have a defensive line with two Pro-Bowl quality players. The Bears secondary is weak, that is why the health of Peppers, Harris and Urlacher is so vital to the success of this defense, and ultimately the Chicago Bears as a franchise. If all these guys can find a way to bring it every week and Peanut Tillman (what is this morons real first name?) can stay within 5 yards of someone, the Bears could have a top 10 D that could vaguely look like the the dominant units of years past.

Special Teams:Under Lovie Smith, the Chicago Bears have always had one of the best special teams units in the NFL and not much should change this season. Brad Maynard is a solid punter and Robbie Gould can split the uprights with the best of em. And Devin Hester, although not a fraction as dangerous as he was a couple of years ago, is still one of the fastest, and most illiterate players in the league. The special teams unit of the Bears is well coached, and is usually good for a few TD's throughout the season. Once again, the Bears should be in the top tier of the league's special teams squads with very good return men, coverage units, and capable kickers and punters.

Coaching:Lovie Smith is on the hot seat, no doubt about it--you can't possibly sugar coat it any more than this. If the Bears don't make the playoffs, you can book his flight at O'Hare and make him pound Vodka Tonics in some airport bar until he passes out. Even though he was AP coach of the year in 2005, and led the Bears (and Rex Grossman!!!!) to the Super Bowl in 2006, he has done little since. In today's NFL, coaches who haven't done anything for their squads lately likely are shown the door rather quickly.

Prediction: The Bears face a tough schedule in 2010 as they square off against the NFC East (Dallas, NYG, Philly, and the Skins) and the AFC East (Pats, NYJ, Fins, and the lowly Buffalo Bills). They will face the Packers and Vikings twice each and should equate (barring a miracle) 4 losses. They finished 7-9 in 2009, they added a force in Julius Peppers, but did little to improve their o-line and secondary. The Bears can expect to finish 3rd place in the division with a 7-9 record.

Record: 7-9
Best Case: 8-8
Worst Case: 6-10

Detroit Lions

Offense:You can't help but look at the Lion's roster and see improvement. But, that is probably because they literally couldn't get any worse. They have their big arm in Stafford, even though he's fat, FAT! They have their big-play wideout who spreads the field with both his height and speed, but can also make plays after the catch. The Lions also haven't had a 1,000 yd. rusher since Barry Sanders!! Just kidding, but seriously, Kevin Jones was their last one in 2004. The Lions backfield is once again full of uncertainties, but on paper it looks like they have some weapons. Kevin Jones was a "big-play" back out of UCF but is coming off an ACL tear. Jahvid Best is supposedly the "most electric player on the field" during camp but is just a rookie and was injury prone in his senior season at Cal. The O line is painfully average. Their center/leader is Dominic Raiola, who last year gave up fewer sacks than his last name has vowels. Nonetheless, a lineman from the Lions (nice alliteration) hasn't made the Pro-Bowl since 1997, and this year shouldn't be much different.

Defense:The Lions defensive unit was just plain BAD last year. But again, it looks like they are getting the right pieces in the right places..well, sort of. Due to their horrific play last year, The Lions 'won' the #2 pick in the draft and chose (obvious) the manchild that is Ndamukong Suh. Combine that with a trade for Corey Williams and the signing of Kyle Vanden Bosch and I'd say the D-line should do pretty well. The secondary is another story. Last year, their secondary was dead last in almost every statistical category. Although only one player is returning from that crew, the new guys are yet to play together as a unit. There might be some growing pains in the secondary, but since the Lions can't possibly be seen as contenders, my guess is that they choose to work (or suffer) through it instead of signing a veteran free agent.

Special Teams:All I know about the Lions special teams unit is that Jason Hanson has been kicking field goals since the Reagan campaign. Although he had minor knee surgery in the offseason and had his worst kicking season since 2001 a year ago, both he, and the NFL's worst facemask are ready for a bounce-back year. The Lions offense should put up more points this year, so if you need a 3rd kicker on your fantasy roster...Jason Hanson is a steal.

Coaching:You're not going to believe this, but once again, there's nowhere to go but up for this franchise. They ran the table in reverse in 2008, they haven't won the division since 1993 when Scott Mitchell and Herman Moore were young, and they haven't made the playoffs since 1999. They are the only team in the history of the NFL to win the coin toss and elect to play defense. The list goes on. They have had some very questionable--well, terrible draft picks in the early 2000's. Joey Harrington started the trend, but was followed by Charles Rogers and the Williams twins, who were all terrible draft picks, and even worse NFL players. Roy Williams runs too much like Robo-Cop and could never get behind the secondary and Mike Williams career fell off the face of the Earth. They have turned it around in recent years with Stafford, Pettigrew, Levy, Suh, and Best. If this onslaught of young and talented players continue to improve, the Lions wont be 'winning' any more lottery picks in the NFL draft.

Prediction:The Lions are definitely moving in the right direction, but won't be able to see the upstairs of the NFC North for a few years now as they have been summoned to the basement like a college kid returning home for Thanksgiving break. They do have some 'sneaky' talent and should steal some games from teams far more talented than they. Good days are on the horizon for the Lions. With that being said,they definitely won't be leaving home for the playoffs.

Record: 6-10
Best Case: 8-8
Worst Case: 5-11

FINAL PREDICTIONS:
PACKERS
VIKINGS
BEARS
LIONS

As for pick of the day, Pulse Man did it again last night as Joey Votto came through with an RBI and made it 8 straight. Tonight, with football spirit in full bloom, he likes the under on Reggie Bush's total rushing and receiving yards combined which is set at 60 1/2. His heads just as empty as his college trophy case now. Little known fact: The Pulse Man once bet that Reggie and Kim Kardashian (Ray J's ex) would be engaged by July 31st if the Saints won the Super Bowl. Needless to say, he lost $1.80 the hard way.

Pick of the Day: Reggie Bush combined rushing/receiving yds. 60 1/2- UNDER (-110)

Record: (18-11-0)