Center of Attention

3 years ago when Joakim Noah was winning National Championships and dancing like a dunce during post-game interviews at the University of Florida, you couldn't find anybody who appreciated his talents and considered themselves a Joakim Noah 'fan'. Since then, Joakim Noah has accumulated a marijuana possession ticket, an open alcohol fine, and a 7 and 7 PPG/RPG career average (no pun intended with the 7&7 and the open alcohol fine) and the Bulls are now unwilling to trade him for one of the most prodigious scorers in the NBA the last 5 years, and are surprisingly backed by tons of Bulls fans. Now, don't think I'm underestimating the importance of a 'good glue guy' (shout out Matt DeMars). Joakim is an asset for the Bulls in the defense and rebounding departments alike. His unmatched intensity and ongoing rivalry with LeBron is something the fans of Chicago have come to embrace. Chicagoans have gone from being disgruntled after drafting a gap-toothed, buffoon with 6 nationalities and an incredible knack for intangibles with the 9th overall pick, to holding onto Noah like he's their first born moving into a coed dorm.

Once again, I like what Noah brings to the Bulls. As a matter of fact, I simply like Noah in general. But, not including him in a trade for one of the elite scorers in the NBA and therefore nullifying the idea of landing Carmelo Anthony--now that's just ill-considered and imbecilic. Let's go over Joakim's numbers from his last 2 years in the NBA.

2008-09: 6.7 PPG, 7.6 RPG, 80 Games
2009-10: 10.7 PPG, 11.0 RPG, 64 Games

Now, some of you disciples of this pony-tailed prodigy might be saying, "but what about his playoff numbers?" What about them? Did they win either series? Nope. They sure didn't. The only thing with a lasting effect from either series were his comments made about Cleveland being a repugnant city that nobody enjoys--which were comments that I fully endorse.

On the other side of the fence sits Carmelo Anthony, a bonafide NBA megastar who averaged 28.2 points per game a season ago and could draw more of a crowd than a golfer with an arm growing out of his ass. It is only once in a while that you get someone with this much talent that wants to play in your city, and Paxson and Forman are letting the opportunity slip right through the vents in their upstairs Berto Center office. Maybe they turn out to be right to hold onto Joakim and he turns out to average 17 points and 18 boards next year like some Pau Gasol/Ben Wallace hybrid animal. But, just in case things don't turn out, here are a couple of guys with very similar stats to Noah that I wouldn't trade my North Face APEX jacket for.

Troy Murphy, 2009-10: 14.6 PPG, 10.2 RPG
Marc Gasol, 2009-10: 14.6 PPG, 9.3 RPG, and the same haircut as Russel Brand.
Samuel Dalembert, 2009-10: 8.1 PPG, 9.6 RPG

If you haven't figured it out yet, the center position in the NBA is the most dispensable position in the NBA. Yea, you need one, don't get me wrong. But, I feel like even if the Bulls lost Noah, they could gain a decent center back with one decent front office move or the development of a player that they already have. In part, I think the reason Paxson and Forman are holding onto Noah so forcibly is because they finally made a solid draft pick without having the #1 overall pick in front of them and are too stubborn to let him go. If they don't offer Noah and the trade talks die, the starting lineup of: Rose (tremendous creator, endless potential, All-Star), Brewer (rangy defender), Melo (incredible scorer, top 5 player in the NBA, All-Star), Boozer (solid back to the basket scorer, All-Star), Center X (you could seriously put Eric Montross in here, and the Bulls are fine) is all just...what might have been.

As for Pick of the Day, the Nationals managed to squeak by the Phillies last night in a game that had lower ratings than 'How I Met Your Mother' at 3 AM on WCIU. For tonight, the Pulse Man continues his "Bet Against Bush" campaign and likes the Mets over the Brewers in game 2 of the Milwaukee/New York Mets twin billing in NYC at (-152).

Pick of the Day: Brewers @ Mets- Mets-moneyline (-152)

Record: (22-14-0)

Melo Out

Although previously I was almost completely content with the Bulls roster and was anxiously awaiting the emergence of D.Rose, the Boozehound, and Benny T. Bull storming onto the hardwood of the UC, the emerging presence of Carmelo Anthony donning red and black next year has got me feeling like I'm impersonating Dickie V in the halls of a public library. The free agent summer of 2010 can be relinquished! So, if the holy triumvirate (sorry, in this case I'm not talking about Rush) start stealing titles and LeBron is showering in his own glory like Neve Campbell does with a bottle of Vidal Sassoon, Chicago can still think, "Hey, we still have a guy who's married to an MTV VJ (LaLa), Miami can never take that from us."

It's become clear Melo wants out of the Mile High City. After 7 seasons of being surrounded by the absolute WORST locker room guys in the NBA (K-Mart, J.R. Smith, Iverson, Birdman!?!), Melo understandably wants to clear his head from the immeasurable amount of secondhand marijuana smoke that has suffocated in the Nugs (no pun intended)locker room. Seriously, the Nuggets go through more grass during a 3 game road trip than the entire 'Up in Smoke' tour went through in an entire summer. First and foremost, Carmelo wants to get out of the West. He's sick of averaging 28.5 PPG during the regular season just so he can watch Nene (believe it or not, overall pick # 7 in 2002) miss a bunch of uncontested layups in the Nuggets best effort to become a first round casualty for the 6th time in 7 years. I don't blame him for wanting out. He sees all of his buddies in Miami lounging in 20,000 seat arenas with their friends, shooting trick shots in practice, sharing a good laugh, and then capping it all off with a practical,locker room prank on Zydrunas Ilgauskas as he playfully laughs it off in his best Andre the Giant impersonation. If that isn't what every star athlete longs for, then I don't know what is. Carmelo deserves to get out of Denver, unless he is unbeknownst to us an avid fan of the slopes and wants to continue to shred powder until Kobe retires so he can have a legitimate chance of seizing the Western Conference.

But, for Bulls fans to be sitting, waiting, wishing for Carmelo to capriciously sign with the Bulls, you might as well waste your time listening to Jack Johnson's Curious George CD--or something equally as appalling. Every time a highly esteemed and trendy free agent hits the market, rumors fill the air and our hopes get built up only to see them crumble in the end like a bunch of wooden, jenga blocks. First it was T-Mac in 2002, then Kobe was fictionally headed to the Windy city, then KG, then Bosh and Wade, and then finally LeBron. It really has become tiresome. The Bulls have an uncanny knack for finding themselves as possible destinations for every marquee free agent, and consistently can't close the deal (not the only time that's been said about Krause). Wishing for the Bulls to sign Carmelo is like wishing for Santa Clause to bring you tickets to the Masters in April, and as Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino so eloquently put it Thursday night, "Santa Clause is DEAD!"

As for pick of the day, The Pulse Man did it again last night. He has now extended his career-long 'pick of the day' streak to 9 by calling the under on Reggie Bush's all purpose yardage. Heading for a double-digit streak, he likes the Rangers over the Yankees tonight at (-139). Also, posted below is his 'Saturday 6 pack'. And,if you're like most teenage females and can't get enough of the Pulse Man, keep a close eye out for a teaser before Sunday morning's NFL games.

Pick of the Day: Yankees @ Rangers- RANGERS-moneyline (-139)

Record:(19-11-0)

Saturday 6 Pack

2 team parlay: BYU (+1) @ Air Force- BYU, Ok. St.(-14) @ Troy-OK.ST

3 team parlay: Penn St. (+12)@ Bama-PSU, San Jose St.(+38)@ Wisconsin-SJSU, E.Michigan @ Miami (Ohio) Total-53 1/2-UNDER

'BIG TICKET PICK'-WVU (-12.5)@ Marshall-WVU