Playoffs in the C-H-I

The Hawks are in. The Bulls are in. Regardless of the fact that they may have done so in the most contradictory of styles, they're both ready to embark on their 'second season'. The Bulls, in one corner, clinched the highly-regarded #1 spot on Friday night after the week that was.

To get there, they knocked off two of the Eastern Conference's top teams--the Magic and the Celtics--albeit without the NBA equivalent of John Coffee from Green Mile, Magic C Dwight Howard, it was still impressive. The Bulls have looked, for the most part, pristine. Specifically Derrick Rose, who casually dropped 39 points against Chicago's likely second round opponent and gave Omer Asik bragging rights from Istanbul to Ankara over the Magic's Hedo Turkoglu.

On the other side of the proverbial coin, the Blackhawks skated into the playoffs (no pun intended) by "the skin of their yellow country teeth." In fact, the only reason there will be any 'playoff Hawky' (shoutout @Not_RyanCLind) in the city of Chicago is because of the NHL's Minnesota team debarring of the Dallas Stars for stealing their franchise in 1993.

I guess you could say that these two Chicago sports mainstays have taken different paths this year, but in many ways still have the same aspirations. Like, for example, the starlet who once paraded around the Times Square TRL set with Carson Daly, Brittney Spears, and America's new teenage leading lady, Miss Miley Cyrus.

Much like Derrick Rose, Miley has mystified scores of men at a very young age. I mean, if we prosecuted the entire contingency of adults who have fantasized about the formerly 17-year old Miley "moving her hips like yeaa" in the "Party in the U.S.A" video, Joliet (where the jail is) might suddenly amass a higher population than Second City.

Similarly, D.Rose is about to hang the MVP trophy on his mantle at the tender age of 22--no small feat. But, like Miley, if too much pressure is thrust on Derrick too early, he might succumb to hitting some salvia as the Bulls' championship hopes sink like a silver coin. (Remember: he did have that "gang sign" picture controversy when he first entered the league, so neither are immune to the paparazzi.)

In the Blackhawks' case, their season has been as capricious as a post-Circus Brittney Spears (Circus is an album, she wasn't actually an acting member of the circus). For instance, she hit rock-bottom and went blade to scalp on her dome; an instance that can be seen as comparable to the defending Stanley Cup champions being out of the playoff picture for a decent amount of the year.

Then, she somehow resurfaced with the help of someone else (Hawks getting in by way of the Stars collapse) and went on to produce an unintelligible, inauthentic, computer-generated product that started with monologues like, "It's Brittney, b*%#@" that never lived up to her original masterful productions.

I don't watch near enough hockey to throw odds on the Blackhawks playoff chances, but when you can't get up to beat your rival in a must-win with your back against the wall, I'll send my money somewhere else.

As for the Bulls, like I said earlier, if the right circumstances fall into place, it all could happen according to plan. But, we all saw what that Billy Ray parenting/divorce/bad haircut fiasco did to a young vixen like Miley. If things go awry, the Bulls could resemble more of Jonah Hill's version of Cyrus than Miley's.

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man likes Dempster to get off the shnide and out of the dumpster in Houston against the Astros tonight. I wouldn't say it's a must-win for the Cubs cannuck, but it's damn close.

Pick of the Day: Cubs @ Astros- CUBS (-129)

Record:(63-51-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

Playing it Off

With yet another impressive weekend in which the Bulls swept through their competition, it might be time to start looking ahead. The "MVP" serenades during D. Rose's free-throw routine have began to enter into the redundancy period for me after I saw Comcast air a middle-aged woman in a low-cut tank top with seemingly the same Basketball acumen as my 2nd grade school teacher mouthing the words to the popular chant during the Milwaukee telecast.

The swooning from analysts has become all too commonplace as the Bulls are a virtual lock to close out the season as the Eastern Conference's #1 seed. Not that I'm jumping to any conclusions prematurely, but the Bulls have 10 games left and still have the T-Wolves, Pistons, Raptors, Cavs and Nets ahead on their schedule (worst case scenario: 6-4).

With a two game lead on the C's for superiority in all things basketball East of the Rockies, it's safe to say the Bulls have their hand in the glove. Then again, we are in Chicago--albeit a long ways away from Wrigley field and the goat sacrificing that goes on up there--we are still conditioned to expect the worst.

So without any further deliberation, let's get to the matter at hand (I'm a few credits short in my aspirations to become Atticus Finch). Who will the Bulls play in the opening round? Historically, the top seed has had no problem winning these incommensurate match-ups, but we don't want the Bulls droning through a 10-day tango either. Here is a comprehensive list of the possible opponents Chicago might see in the opening round.

Sixers - (-16.5 GB, 1-1 vs. CHI) The Sixers are certainly an interesting and intriguing bunch. Since the Bulls played them in the playoffs last during the 1990-1991 season, Philly has adopted a new logo, reverted back to the original logo, drafted Iverson, worshiped Iverson and then traded Iverson. It's funny to think that the Bulls now have a Turkish center and the former face of Philly's franchise is playing in a second-tier Turkish league. Also during this time, the Garbage Picking, Field Goal Kicking, Philadelphia Phenomenon was released starring Tony Danza. Strange days indeed.

Not to mention, Doug Collins coached the Bulls during the initial Jordan years of the late 1980's and was canned just in time to watch the Zen Master rattle off 6 titles in Chicago. If you're Doug, that's like getting divorced by your wife, having her marry a quasi-Buddhist monk with a Scottrade account, earning enough money through said account to use their rolled up singles as Q-tips and rolling papers, and then invest their equitable assets into forming the most lucrative dynasty the NBA has ever seen. Sounds like you missed out, Doug.

But the 2011 Sixers have been marked by their potential. Elton Brand and Andrea Iguodala have been around the block in the heart of blue-collar "Rocky Country", but the added youth of Jrue Holiday, Jodie Meeks, Thaddeus Young and Evan Turner have labeled the Sixers as overachievers this season and have kept Doug Collins name in the Coach of the Year debate. Can they beat the Bulls? No, but Doug Collins has enough X's and O's up his sleeve from broadcasting 54,329 games on TNT over the past 5 years to push it to a 5 or 6 game set--exactly what can trip the Bulls up in the future.

Knicks-(-18.5 GB, 2-0 vs. CHI) New team, new style, same bad blood between the Bulls and Knicks. Xavier McDaniel and Anthony Mason might be face up in the sun in Boca Raton after 4 back surgeries each, but I assure you that if the Bulls play the Knicks in round 1, there will be some hard fouls issued similar to the ones of old.

What scares me about the Knicks is what scares everybody about the Knicks--they can score on anyone. Carmelo and Amare can fill it up against the best team defenders in the world, and have proven that to some extent during their brief partnership together in the Big Apple. The Bulls have showed the capability to win without scoring in the triple digits this season, which is a testament to how far they have come as a team on the defensive end.

But, they have also shown that if Rose goes ice-cold like the scene from Cool Runnings where Sanka (Doug E. Doug) gets stuck in the Ice Cream truck, they can go an extended period of time without scoring. Now I would hesitate to call Carmelo and Amare tough-nosed, blue collar guys, but I think Toney Douglas, Chauncey Billups and Landry Fields provide them with that "chip on your shoulder" mentality that the Knicks always held near and dear during the John Starks era.

I wouldn't feel comfortable seeing the Knicks in round 1 because of their potential to follow through with the unfathomable. Realistically though, I don't think they have a chance to make a deep run this year judging by their lack of interest in defense, and they have an assistant coach named Dan D'Antoni--that can't help. Still, they're 2-0 versus the Bulls already this season so what do I know?

Pacers- (-22 GB, 1-3 vs. CHI) It is no secret that Indiana is the most Caucasian-laden team in the NBA, and believe it or not, that includes Utah. Jeff Foster, Mike Dunleavy (currently injured), Josh McRoberts and Tyler Hansbrough all see time for the Indiana 'Race'-ers. Throw some unathleticism in the middle in the form 7'2'' center, Roy Hibbert, and you have a possible Eastern Conference 8 seed.

The Pacers really haven't made much noise since Larry Legend stepped down from Head Coach and appointed someone that he never really liked, and people trusted less than an ex-girlfriend with an assortment of dirty texts at her disposal. Since then though, the Pacers have been winning the "right" way, and presumably the "white" way based on the talent pool they move through Conseco Fieldhouse every home game.

In fact, the Pacers knocked off the Bulls last Friday in an overtime thriller that saw the Bulls as a lethargic, shot-missing bunch carried much of the way by their MVP point guard. Knowing that Rose almost willed the Bulls to victory on a night when the rest of their team shot an equivalent percentage to a young student on a spelling pretest doesn't bode well for Indiana basketball fans. Go Butler, maybe the Pacers can lure Brad Stevens to the league, or else I think he's destined for a PLAYGIRL cover.

Bobcats/Bucks- (-23 GB/-24 GB, 2-2 vs. CHI, 0-4 vs. CHI) Lastly, the two teams on the outside looking in on the 2011 NBA Playoffs are the Charlotte Bobcats and the Milwaukee Bucks. As a proud owner of a Charlotte Hornets quarter-zip Starter jacket, I'm ashamed to say that the Bobcats actually exist...not that anyone has noticed. They are consistently making mindless trades in order to get them out of the red and their most recognizable face is in upper management. Nothing in Charlotte is necessarily peachy.

They did beat the Bulls twice earlier in the year, but that was when they still held the rights to Gerald Wallace, a guy who always gave the Bulls problems. Now, you can conceivably argue that Stephen Jackson is their best player (seriously, look at their roster). I feel that their only reason for existence is for Michael Jordan to use the Bobcats as a forum in finally succeeding in helping the world understand what he once saw in Kwame Brown, and therefore I would love to see them in round 1.

As for the Bucks, we saw them fold up like paper in fire again in Milwaukee this weekend and had no answer when the Bulls flipped the switch (lot of cliches there, I apologize). The Bucks are 0-4 against the Bulls this year and don't pose much of a threat with their current roster. However, if they can somehow get healthy for the road ahead (except for Michael Redd, he'll never play a full season again), they could instill a little fear in their opponents to go along with their Christmas color scheme. God bless whoever they have in merchandise sales.

With all of that being said, the Bulls still have games against the Celtics and Magic to use as a measuring stick heading into their second season. But, if all goes according to plan, one of these teams could have a date with D.Rose in the conference quarters...buyer beware.

As for Pick of the Day, it's been a while since the Pulse Man has bet, but as always he is anxious to get his money out and lay on the table. For tonight, the Pulse Man advocates for the Stanford women giving 9 points to the Gonzaga Lady Bulldogs in West region play of the Women's NCAA Tourney. He's an equal opportunity employer, and a ladies man, so get off of his back.

Pick of the Day: Stanford (-9) vs. Gonzaga- STANFORD

Record:(61-49-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

Call In the Butler

Any Bulls fan who is really jacked that the Bulls just picked up Rasual Butler off of waivers must have about the same basketball IQ as Leighton Meester. Seriously, that's like being thrilled to see a discounted movie with your boys at the local plex knowing all too well that you're signed on to sit through 2 hours of Kevin James comedy. Should you be happy the Bulls picked up a piece to aid in their 3-point shooting struggles for the playoffs? I guess so, but Rasual Butler wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

Currently, the former LaSalle Explorer from uptown Philly is averaging 5 points and 1lonely rebound per game for the LA Clips. Oh wait, I forgot to mention, he also garners a little more than 1/2 of an assist per game as well--I can't forget to pay homage to his unselfishness. After he was acquired by the Bulls, Rasual provided us with the following tremendous insight into what exactly we got ourselves into, "I'm a good individual defender. A good team defender. Shooting the ball is my skill. That's the one thing that I am known for is shooting the ball. A catch-and-shoot guy; a one or two dribble pull-up guy. Just a smart, cerebral player. Not going to make many mistakes. A team player." Wow! Apparently aside from being a 32.3% field goal shooter this season and an absolutely unmemorable contributor on one of the NBA's worst teams, Rasual happens to be the most literal player in the league. But my question is, if Rasual is "good" at such a wide-variety of basketball skills, how in the hell was he waived by the Clippers?

Upon further research, this unfortunate situation could have happened to Rasual for a multitude of reasons. Perhaps Clippers owner Donald Sterling wasn't overly impressed by Butler's recent cameo performance in Trina's "Here We Go" music video. As an under-financed rap video aficionado myself, Butler should have instead opted for a cameo role as a member of the Slip N' Slide All-Stars in the much applauded Trina/Trick Daddy duet, "Take it to the House". Oh well, we all make mistakes.

During the wee hours before the trade deadline, the Bulls let a series of enticing opportunities to upgrade at the 2 spot slip through their grasp. When peppered with criticism for remaining idle while the rest of the East upgraded, Bulls players and management alike reassured the Bulls faithful that they like what they already have in place in Chicago and didn't want to jeopardize team chemistry. Understandable. But signing a 3 point shooting power-forward in the midst of the worst statistical season of his career doesn't make much sense to me either.

Butler's duties as a member of the Bulls roster will coincidentally be quite similar to the daily tasks performed by an actual butler (think Geoffrey from Fresh Prince). He won't get much tick and certainly won't be able to put his self-proclaimed "good shooting ability" to work on the floor at the UC. What he will do is engage in mindless banter on the far end of the bench with Scalabrine and waive the occasional towel when the Bulls enjoy a 2nd half run. More importantly, during the final minutes of blowouts we will now have to endure the "Call in the Butler!" promo on the scoreboard to accompany the teenage girls hopelessly screaming for Scalabrine. Could be worse.

As for Pick of the Day, Big 10 POY canidate Jordan Taylor scored 39 points on 55 Wisco posessions and shattered the Pulse Man's chance at covering the UNDER. For the weekend, the Pulse Man likes the Heat to bounce the league-leading Spurs in San Antonio tonight. Ballsy pick. I dig it.

Pick of the Day: Heat @ Spurs- HEAT (moneyline) +110

Record:(60-44-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

Point-ed Argument

The Chicago Bulls and the Utah Jazz, ever since their rivalry sprung into the national spotlight in the mid-to-late 90's, have always represented paradoxical ideologies. It's Mormon country and mountains of snow pitted against hipsters and the biting breeze of the Windy City. It was Stockton's nuthuggers versus Jordan's baggy shorts. It was Hornacek wiping his sideburns to commemorate his children juxtaposed with Rodman wearing a wedding dress on the weekends. The entire rivalry became somewhat of an anomaly.

Years later, things have changed drastically, but the intensity between these old rivals still lives on. The Delta Center has now become Energy Solutions Arena, but the Salt Lake City venue still confines one of the more passionate fan bases in all of sports into one ear-piercing arena. Similar to the raucous crowds that professional basketball in Utah has become so accustomed to, their front-man remains the same--the ageless Jerry Sloan. After Jerry was fired as the Bulls' head coach in 1982, he has since went on to become one of the most successful coaches in the history of the NBA in Utah and has become the longest tenured coach in North American professional sports. He has stapled the Jazz franchise with a devotion to gritty defense and has remained faithful to the pick and roll offense that has kept him successful for nearly 25 years at the helm. And, after Jazz management surrendered 3/5 of their scoring production to Chicago, Sloan still has the Jazz making sweet music (no pun intended) in the NBA West (6 spot).

But with the age old Bulls/Jazz NBA Finals rivalries in the rear-view mirror, the importance of these two teams meeting has shifted into showcasing one of the league's most captivating spectacles. No, I'm not referencing Kirilenko's pumpkin pie haircut versus Joakim's ponytail, it's Rose vs. Williams. Watching Derrick and Deron run the show for their respective teams last night advertised two of the best lead guards in the game. Ever since Rose has blossomed (no pun intended, again) into superstardom, his critics have been hesitant to classify him in the same breath as Chris Paul, Steve Nash and of course, Deron Williams.

But last night, the Rose/Williams rivalry didn't exactly live up to its hype. For example, Rose had 29 and 7, with some big shots sprinkled in that don't exactly make the box score, but he was 11-26 from the floor. If you don't understand exactly how many hoists 26 shots is, Monta Ellis leads the NBA in field goals attempted (1,025) and pops off roughly 20 times a game. Deron, on the other hand, only had 11 points to go along with 12 assists in a 40 minute body of work. Obviously, neither player reached the heights that they were capable of in last night's affair. Maybe because they held each other in check, or maybe it was because it was a meaningless interleague tilt on a Wednesday night in the Great Salt Lake (one of the more bad ass music videos and songs of all time).

Don't get me wrong, I love both of these guys. Both are explosive off the dribble in penetration and both have tirelessly worked to make great strides in improving their jumpers since they've entered the highest level of basketball competition. Not to mention, they both have questionable arm tattoos (Rose has that Merlin-like wizard that reads "Poohdini" on his arm and Deron has that oversized Black Panther sprawling his shoulder). These players have a lot of similarities and both have used the Land of Lincoln to stage some of their finest accomplishments. In the end, maybe this was Boozer, Korver and Brewer's night in their return to Beehive state. We'll have another chance to see Derrick measure himself against one of the finer guards in the league on Saturday against CP3. Hopefully he's on point, get it?

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man has slipped to 52-38 after suffering a loss at the hands of the Evansville Aces earlier in the week. For tonight, the Pulse Man likes his alma mater, the EIU Panthers, getting a 15.5 point spread tonight at Morehead State. I don't think he knows much about Morehead, but 15.5 is a whole lot of points. Two words: Panther Pride.

Pick of the Day: Eastern Illinois (+15.5) @ Morehead St.- EASTERN ILLINOIS

Record:(52-38-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

No Joak, let's Booze

I hate to be the "I told you so" guy, I really do. But in the case of the Bulls' recent winning ways, I think it is only necessary. Remember when I told you that the Bulls should try and deal Joakim Noah when his stock was sitting on top of Dante's Peak? Well, I told you so. And remember when I told you that rebounding was the most disposable stat in the NBA? I hate to sound like a repetitive Carrie Underwood, but I told you so. The Bulls have won 4 in a row and 13 out of their last 15 without their "monkey in the middle". In Noah's absence, Boozer has proved why he is one of the best 2nd round steals in the last decade. He has surprised us all with his ability to consistently finish around the rim and his all-around craftiness makes him a top candidate for a job at the local West Side Hobby Lobby as soon as the off-season hits. Take away his terribly tatted arms and bad facial hair and there really isn't much to dislike about the Boozehound.

Since he has returned from his household hand injury, Carlos has amassed numbers that solidify him as one of the better low-post presences in the East: 20.6 PPG, 9.8 RBG, 54% FG. He can clean the glass just like Joak, but he gives the Bulls a ton more on offense. Hell, Kurt Thomas gives you more on the offensive side of the ball and he's literally a rolled ankle away from a hospital bed at Northwest Memorial Hospital. I know you may like Joakim and think he's a 'great piece' for the Bulls, but it's easy to see how much better the Bulls offense flows without him dressed. Rose can run a pick and roll and actually use the screener as a viable second scoring option now. And seriously, if you're going to bring up rebounding, just ex out your browser and go watch MTV Jams for a few hours until you feel sorry for yourself. Anyone can rebound in the NBA. Look at a few of the league's top 10 rebounders: Anderson Varejao (just straight-up sucks, he might as well be Justin Guarini), Emeka Okafor (fell off the face of the Earth after UCONN) and Zach Randolph (I literally thought he was still incarcerated). There you have it. If you're going to eat 32-35 minutes for a contender, you have to do something else besides rebound. I'm sorry, this isn't the Mid Suburban League.

With the Raptors, Nets and Sixers next on the schedule, the Bullies should be able to extend this winning streak to 7 without really having to break much of a lather. The last time the Bulls played Toronto, the game was over before much of the crowd realized that the Raps traded Vince Carter, T-Mac and Chris Bosh all over the past decade only to draft Andrea Bargnani with the #1 overall pick. The only way the Raptors can make people notice them in this league is if they came out in denim uniforms for the rest of 2011. It's not a bad thought. After all, it is Canada. As for the Sixers, they only lost by a cool 45 last time they squared off against Chicago, so they should come out with a point to prove. Trust me, they won't. And lastly for New Jersey, the Bulls beat them by 9 on New Year's Eve while only shooting 39% from the field. Plus, they have Brook Lopez and Sasha Vujacic playing on the same team. If that doesn't spell defeat, I should go back and get lessons from Andrew Lay.

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man has decided to throw two bets on the table tonight with his Sugar Bowl pick already in play. For tonight, the Pulse Man likes UCONN covering the 5.5 points they are getting in South Bend from ND. Kemba Walker is just straight stupid with the basketball, and I mean that in the most gratifying way possible.

Pick of the Day: UCONN (+5.5) @ Notre Dame- UCONN

Record:(42-30-0)

Now I'm done. Rack Me

Frost

Roses are Red

If it were up to Stacey King, all we would know about Derrick Rose is that he could "go upstairs" and "he's from Chicago". Good, that only narrows it down to every resident of the third largest city in the Unietd States that resides in a two story building. Thankfully, we have the gift of the national media and basketball virtuosos like Tim Legler and Chris Mullin (great player, great haircut, awful analyst) helping us formulate the "Derrick Rose for MVP" campaign that has sprung so far this season. So far this year, D. Rose has compiled some Juwanna Mann-like numbers: 24.7 PPG, 8.3 APG, 4.4 RPG. Not to mention, Derrick is sporting a 42% clip from 3! I don't even think he shot 42% from the free-throw line in his one-year tour of Memphis. Regardless, Rose has been nasty. He's the driving force behind the current 8-game winning streak that the Bulls have in tact and is solidifying his name amongst guys like Paul, Deron, Nash, and Rondo as the best PG in the NBA. Did I mention he is only 26 months removed from being able to purchase his first Four Loko?

On Tuesday, when Derrick displayed his reckless abandon to the hoop that us fans all adore, he was catapulted into the air horizontally like Bucky Lasek (the only character I remember from Tony Hawk Pro Skater on Gamecube) on a warehouse half-pipe. For that solemn few seconds, the city held its breath and hoped Derrick Rose wouldn't break both wrists, stripping him of the ability to: 1) continue to dismantle Eastern Conference foes with his ball-handling wizardry, and 2)to effectively do the "Bossy" dance from the Kelis music video. All kidding aside, after I saw the replay I thought Derrick would for sure have sustained some sort of wrist injury, and as always, I was right. Although Derrick only received a sprain, all wrist injuries are painful. Think about how many daily tasks you need a healthy wrist to perform: writing, making 3 point turns.....other household tasks (wink, wink). Like big toes and A&W Root Beer, wrists are underrated. And the worst part about wrist injuries is, without rest, it's just going to linger like a single by the Cranberries in 1999.

I am alarmed mostly by this injury because Derrick's wrist directly coincides with his ability to make jumpers, which affects how the Bulls play, which affects whether or not the Bulls win, which ultimately affects Derrick Rose's chance of winning NBA MVP. I know this sounds like some sophomoric, meaningless flow chart from Lord of the Flies, but it's true. We know Derrick is not going to let himself take time off, and now with Joakim dressed in $32,000 pleated slacks on the Bulls bench, he's going to be asked to shoulder more of the burden, with one good wrist! Hopefully the Bulls can weather the storm and keep this current winning streak alive and well.

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man completely underestimated how bad the Clippers really were. As the strolled into halftime with a 3 point lead Wednesday night, he was confident. Then, in the second half, the Clips couldn't reach the 20 point plateau in either quarter and they went on to lose by 15. Awful, awful basketball. For tonight, the Pulse Man likes the over in the Chargers/49ers tilt in San Diego, which is set at 45. Get back on that horse and ride.

Pick of the Day: 49ers @ Chargers, total points-45- OVER

Record:(40-26-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

One Bad 'Spur'-t

Initially, people write off the San Antonio Spurs as "boring" and say things like, "how are those ancient geezers still relevant after a full decade with virtually the same team in the Western Conference?" The answer is...well, I don't know, but to say the Spurs as a team are boring is a misrepresentation. Yes, I agree that Tim Duncan is boring. I scoured his extensive 7-page Wikipedia page to find something interesting only to find that his college teammates affectionately called him "Mr.Spock" because of his emotionless demeanor, and he's a video game nerd who plays Dungeons and Dragons until his PC overheats in his free time. If you want to crown Tim Duncan as "the most boring athlete since Greg Maddux", that's fine. Go ahead and crown him. But, the rest of the Spurs team that used a 37-12 3rd quarter run to spur (no pun intended) a 103-94 victory in the city of the Alamo last night are actually rather compelling.

Everything starts with Tony Parker--the 'Parisian Torpedo', the 'Fiery Franchophile' if you will (Scoops Callahan). If you follow Tony close enough, you would remember his mildly talented brother who starred at PG for Northwestern, and also recall his father, Tony Parker Sr., who used his collegiate eligibility at Loyola. How the best of the three has no connections with Chicago? I guess you have to be a resident sports fan of Chicago long enough to figure that one out. If you follow Tony too closely, you may also note the release of his hip-hop single, Top of the Game, under the cleverly ingenious rap name, TP. In fact, the video also starred Spurs teammates Brent Barry, Nazr Mohammed and Tim Duncan, thus labeling it as the worst music video of all time. But through all of that, the facet of his life that led to him being one of the most recognizable French athletes on the planet crumbled at his feet Wednesday when his wife, Eva Longoria, filed for divorce amidst rumors of his infidelity. Still, Parker was able to be productive with 21 pts. and 7 dimes after realizing that he will never sleep with the most attractive 35 year-old women in the world ever again. Considering all of that would make for a pretty interesting storyline wouldn't you say?

To boot, the Spurs have a bizarro (yet better) version of Brian Scalabrine under contract in the omniscient Matthew Bonner. Bonner's ability to do absolutely nothing until you forget about him is uncanny. Then, when the defense trickles in towards the paint, Bonner cans a 3 that makes your heart sink like the end of Mr. Holland's Opus. Dude has made his last 9 triples! 9 shots in a row from 23 feet, 9 inches away. All from a ginger...SNAP!

When talking about the Spurs, it's hard to leave out the league's craftiest, most confrontational Argentine in Manu Ginobili. I have mentioned this before, but if you were a civilian strolling the San Antonio Riverwalk casually on a weeknight and walked past the man that is Manu, you would think he was on a cigarette break from his shift as the local Olive Garden's head chef. Besides the fact that he's 6'6'', Manu is 33, has a pronounced bald spot, and the eccentric attitude to consistently cause problems with the wait staff. I can just envision him being pestered by a smug, slightly overweight waitress about her table's food order and him replying, "Just-give-me-one-hot-minute" all in 3 syllables and with sweat beads cultivating on his nose.

Those are the three players that San Antonio used to stretch a 10-point Bulls advantage at halftime into a 15-point Spurs lead heading into the 4th quarter. Despite Derrick Rose's best effort to pull the Bulls off the canvas in the last frame with 9 straight points, the Bulls were plagued by turnovers and Joakim Noah missed free-throws in the 2nd half that eventually led to their demise Wednesday night in the AT&T Center. We all had assumed it would be a tough game for the Bulls; facing their second straight Western conference opponent on the road in back-to-back nights. But it is hard to swallow when you score 12 points in the 3rd quarter, and Omer Asik and CJ Watson have proven themselves to be the least capable scorers since the ABA and NBA merged in the late 70's. And by the way, for all those Noah fans who want to climb into his ark and defend his presence on the Bulls against Carmello, he missed consecutive free throws and had a traveling turnover with the Bulls down 5 late in the 4th. So there, you have your cake. Go ahead and eat it now.

As for the Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man covered his hockey parlay as both Washington and Minnesota won at home to put some change in the pocket of his cargo sweatpants. For tonight, the Pulse Man likes Loyola Chicago to cover the 10.5 points they're giving his alma mater, Eastern Illinois, tonight in the Gentile Center downtown. He never saw a game live in his 4 years of college, and certainly won't watch this one, but is confident they will lose by double digits.

Pick of the Day: Eastern Illinois @ Loyola Chicago (-10.5)- LOYOLA (-105)

Record:(32-24-0)

Now I'm done. Rack Me

Frost

On with the Conflict

Remember the days when the Bulls invading the Knicks in a dimly lit MSG was a bigger deal in the Big Apple than the upcoming Dave Matthews Concert on Nov. 12 in the Garden? Whether or not you have a "Satttt-a-liiiite, in your eyes" or are simply just blocked by the bumper to bumper traffic on 8th Ave. in Manhattan getting to the game is irrelevant--its clear to see the rivalry has transpired. Granted, the franchises are different, the personnel is different, and most importantly, the feel is different. The days of Patrick Ewing patrolling the paint in double-thick wristbands, drenched in more quarts of sweat than a lonely divorcee waiting for the dial-up connection on his home desktop so the google image results of Blake Lively can boot up are over. The best there ever was (MJ-23) has been replaced with a budding talent (no pun intended, budding Rose, get it? amirite?) teamed with the pieces to bring the Bulls back to prominence in the Eastern Conference. On the other bench, the Knicks are slowly recovering from the chaotic imbroglio that Isaiah caused during his tenure at the helm for New York. Still, someone needs to show both teams a tape of game 3 of the 1993 Eastern Conference Finals (just watch the first minute) before tip-off.

But, many of you will say the NBA is in an entirely different era. Charles Oakley has been replaced with a guy who actually wears "Oakleys" while he plays (Amare), and Eddy Curry's $11 million salary is eating away (no pun intended)at the competitiveness of the rivalry. I agree with you. Spike Lee probably won't even be in attendance tonight as the Knicks and Bulls square off in the early regular season. On second thought, he's probably filming another humdrum, 3 hour HBO documentary like "If God's Willing and the Creek Don't Rise" that can cause even Adderall induced adolescents to nod off. Where does the bad blood go?

If anything or anyone can rejuvenate the rivalry and pump some passion back into Chicago vs. New York, it's Joakim Noah. The Bulls' pony-tailed power-forward leads the league in rebounds per game and isn't afraid to take a jab at an opposing city, or player. In fact, he's a competitor--he enjoys getting booed. But, there's a cop for every criminal, and this story needs someone for the yanks out East to side with. The roll John Starks played to perfection a decade ago is now vacant and is interviewing applicants to hold the position. Wilson Chandler has the state of mind to lash a hard foul. I mean come on, the guy has a shoe deal with PONY, he's not necessarily weighing his options. Even Timofey Mozgov's headshot fits the description of a foreign villain, and his commy routes lead back to the USSR. I suppose we can all hope to see a few shades of red tonight that aren't part of the Bulls' uniform.

As for Pick of the Day, the Suns were one point away from covering last night as they lost by a deuce to part-time Olive Garden chef Manu Ginobili and the ageless San Antonio Spurs. For tonight, the Pulse Man likes the Thunder getting 5 points in Portland taking on Brandon Roy and the Blazers.

Pick of the Day: Thunder (+5) @ Blazers, THUNDER (-105)

Record:(28-23-0)


Now I'm done. Rack Me

Frost

Center of Attention

3 years ago when Joakim Noah was winning National Championships and dancing like a dunce during post-game interviews at the University of Florida, you couldn't find anybody who appreciated his talents and considered themselves a Joakim Noah 'fan'. Since then, Joakim Noah has accumulated a marijuana possession ticket, an open alcohol fine, and a 7 and 7 PPG/RPG career average (no pun intended with the 7&7 and the open alcohol fine) and the Bulls are now unwilling to trade him for one of the most prodigious scorers in the NBA the last 5 years, and are surprisingly backed by tons of Bulls fans. Now, don't think I'm underestimating the importance of a 'good glue guy' (shout out Matt DeMars). Joakim is an asset for the Bulls in the defense and rebounding departments alike. His unmatched intensity and ongoing rivalry with LeBron is something the fans of Chicago have come to embrace. Chicagoans have gone from being disgruntled after drafting a gap-toothed, buffoon with 6 nationalities and an incredible knack for intangibles with the 9th overall pick, to holding onto Noah like he's their first born moving into a coed dorm.

Once again, I like what Noah brings to the Bulls. As a matter of fact, I simply like Noah in general. But, not including him in a trade for one of the elite scorers in the NBA and therefore nullifying the idea of landing Carmelo Anthony--now that's just ill-considered and imbecilic. Let's go over Joakim's numbers from his last 2 years in the NBA.

2008-09: 6.7 PPG, 7.6 RPG, 80 Games
2009-10: 10.7 PPG, 11.0 RPG, 64 Games

Now, some of you disciples of this pony-tailed prodigy might be saying, "but what about his playoff numbers?" What about them? Did they win either series? Nope. They sure didn't. The only thing with a lasting effect from either series were his comments made about Cleveland being a repugnant city that nobody enjoys--which were comments that I fully endorse.

On the other side of the fence sits Carmelo Anthony, a bonafide NBA megastar who averaged 28.2 points per game a season ago and could draw more of a crowd than a golfer with an arm growing out of his ass. It is only once in a while that you get someone with this much talent that wants to play in your city, and Paxson and Forman are letting the opportunity slip right through the vents in their upstairs Berto Center office. Maybe they turn out to be right to hold onto Joakim and he turns out to average 17 points and 18 boards next year like some Pau Gasol/Ben Wallace hybrid animal. But, just in case things don't turn out, here are a couple of guys with very similar stats to Noah that I wouldn't trade my North Face APEX jacket for.

Troy Murphy, 2009-10: 14.6 PPG, 10.2 RPG
Marc Gasol, 2009-10: 14.6 PPG, 9.3 RPG, and the same haircut as Russel Brand.
Samuel Dalembert, 2009-10: 8.1 PPG, 9.6 RPG

If you haven't figured it out yet, the center position in the NBA is the most dispensable position in the NBA. Yea, you need one, don't get me wrong. But, I feel like even if the Bulls lost Noah, they could gain a decent center back with one decent front office move or the development of a player that they already have. In part, I think the reason Paxson and Forman are holding onto Noah so forcibly is because they finally made a solid draft pick without having the #1 overall pick in front of them and are too stubborn to let him go. If they don't offer Noah and the trade talks die, the starting lineup of: Rose (tremendous creator, endless potential, All-Star), Brewer (rangy defender), Melo (incredible scorer, top 5 player in the NBA, All-Star), Boozer (solid back to the basket scorer, All-Star), Center X (you could seriously put Eric Montross in here, and the Bulls are fine) is all just...what might have been.

As for Pick of the Day, the Nationals managed to squeak by the Phillies last night in a game that had lower ratings than 'How I Met Your Mother' at 3 AM on WCIU. For tonight, the Pulse Man continues his "Bet Against Bush" campaign and likes the Mets over the Brewers in game 2 of the Milwaukee/New York Mets twin billing in NYC at (-152).

Pick of the Day: Brewers @ Mets- Mets-moneyline (-152)

Record: (22-14-0)