Strong but Ferentz

What a difference a year makes. Last December, Iowa was prepping for Georgia Tech and the BCS, anxiously awaiting to be shipped (no pun intended) to the FedEx Orange Bowl. As an underdog, the Hawkeyes marched into Miami Gardens, outplayed Georgia Tech, and became college football's Midwestern media darling. Ricky Stanzi established himself as the most renowned Iowan since Ann Landers. His famous "Love it or Leave it" proclamation became the official soundbite of a middle-American 4th of July. Rural Iowa rejoiced in complete dental reconstruction, Iowa undergrads immersed themselves in $1.00 U-Call-its--the whole state relished in the gaiety. But with great success comes immense expectations, and the 2010 Hawks were no exception. With a great deal of notable players returning and a schedule catered to Kinnick Stadium, Iowa expected to compete for the Big-10 title. After all, they had arguably the best defense in the country, a 3 headed monster in the backfield, and an unflappable head coach. But, nobody in college football lived the "what goes up, must come down" fall from grace over the past year than this group of men in gold pants.

Today, somewhere in South Dakota, a fan-favorite of the 2009 Orange Bowl Champs, Brandon Wegher, is trying to find the misplaced bottle of a pre-marital newborn instead of the endzone. Strangely enough, reports say that Wegher will be both a Daddy and a Jackrabbit (South Dakota State) next season. For Jewel Hampton, his potential has always intrigued, but his ability has never amounted to much in the Iowa backfield. He has proven to be an explosive runner at times, but is also unfortunately saddled with Shawn Bradley's knees and a hankering for spending too much time at Johnson County watering holes; two things that have kept Jewel out of nearly 2 complete seasons at Iowa. Either way, like Wegher, he is also seeking a transfer. And lastly, after an impressive regular season in 2010, starting running back Adam Robinson has been suspended for the Insight Bowl for "conduct detrimental to the team" (one of my all-time favorite quotes). No one knows yet what Adam did, but I'm sure it wasn't serving too much soup to the Iowa City homeless or skipping practice to read books at local elementary schools. If you're still counting, we're at 3 inactives, 2 transfers, 1 suspension, 1 underage drinking ticket, and 1 child. Remember that 3-headed monster we talked about earlier? Now it looks like the Monstars in Space Jam before they got a hold of Muggsy Bogues and Larry Johnson's skills.

As if the problems at running back weren't enough, Kirk Ferentz has just been enlightened that his school's all-time leading wideout, and senior captain, Derrell Johnson-Koulianos, has been pushing coke on campus like he's a modern-day George Jung. He was arrested last week for running a "drug house" after he was put up for adoption as an orphan because his mother had been an addict. Where does the acorn fall? Use some of your drug money to rent The Blind Side, Derrell! Oh, and good thing you told those cops that "you didn't want any trouble" when they seized your house. You have a plethora of amphetamines, a cocaine buffet, and a magnetic scale--you guys shouldn't have any trouble, don't worry about it. As a result, Johnson-Koulianos ended up in the last place Iowa's staff wanted to see him, the Johnson County Courthouse. He will undoubtedly be suspended for the Insight Bowl, and his draft stock will plummet, but hey, his name will live on in the phonebooks of Iowa undergrads who are in need of some 'booger sugar' for decades. I guess there's something to be said for that.

Even with all these recent allegations against the football team, Iowa struggled to perform to their potential even when the team was at full-strength this season. They got off to a fast start, but the heartbeaking loss to Arizona in the desert to an amp'd up Mike Stoops led them to waver from their path. Their highly-touted defense underperformed and Stanzi was simply asked to do too much throughout the season, resulting in a late-season burnout against Minnesota. Still, there is something to be said for the stoic Kirk Ferentz, and his highly respected Iowa football program through all of this turmoil. In most situations in the NCAA, the head coach would find a feasible explanation as to why DJK was pushing weight in his campus duplex or why A-Rob can't get it done in Intro to Acting 103. But, without much deliberation at all, Kirk kicks these guys to the curb faster than their baby mamas. He has to. With his own sons anchoring the Iowa offensive line, Ferentz has to hold everyone accountable to the same standard in order to keep the balance between corn-fed farmhands and city-quick position players in tact. In the end, Kirk cannot control the sexual exploits of his running backs, or the fact that his star flanker wants to turn his off-campus house into the Colombian drug cartel. But, he can control the way he reprimands them. By dismissing them from the team immediately like he always has keeps integrity close to the program. It might result in a loss in the Insight Bowl, but really, who cares?

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man seems to have conquered another frontier in betting in the NBA, more specifically, betting against the Minnesota Timberwolves. He currently makes more money off the T-Wolves road losses than he does at his actual job (no actual job). For tonight, the Pulse Man likes the Clippers getting 5 points on the road in Philadelphia. I know the Clippers are terrible, but the Sixers aren't exactly the 96 Bulls either. The Pulse Man bets it will be a battle to the end.

Pick of the Day: Clippers (+5) @ 76ers- CLIPPERS

Record:(40-25-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost