Candy Kane

Self-admittedly, I don't know much about hockey. Foreign people love it, it involves a puck, fighting and a lot of people with short-tempers. For all I know, it might as well be the Real World: San Francisco. That is why before I write a blog on the Blackhawks, I usually consult someone who is well-versed in "the coolest game on earth". In this case, it was my main man, Ryan "Little League" Lind, a former hard hitting captain of the LZHS hockey club, that was referenced as the know-all in all things stick and puck. So in talking to Little League, it was apparent that he was understandably frustrated with the underachieving Hawks squad in 2011. Amongst other things, he mentioned to me how undervalued their 3rd line 'energy guys' were from a year ago (Sopel, Eager, Burish), and how much they miss Niemi in between the pipes. But most of all, they miss the Patrick Kane of old.

Even after watching Kane net the game-winning shootout goal with a pretty, stick side deke move in which he stole from Charlie Conway, it only salvaged his terrible overtime period. Kane was all over the ice in the extra frame, and I don't mean that in a complimentary way. He was loose with the puck, almost careless at times, and turned the puck over more times than an undercooked turkey burger. I know he missed some time recently due to illness and had to get some reps to wear off the rust, but 88 looked off on Sunday.

I'm not going to sit here and chastise Kane for supposedly being out slammin' sangria and sexting slam pieces on the night when he was supposedly ill. I don't care about that at all. He's 22 and has enough money to buy a round of shots for every person who resides in Estonia (who coincidentally love hockey), he's going to do what he wants. He's a frat boy with deep pockets and two sisters that are absolute dimes. So take your shirt off, beat the piss out of an innocent cabbie over the cost of a chiclet, chug Busch Lights incessantly in front of children that idolize you--I don't give a rip--live the life you love, Kaner. I have to say though, it was a lot easier to put up with his off-the-ice antics and write them off as cute when he was producing points. Now that he's been force fed 'Chicago sports icon' status, people are now starting to see Kane as an overpaid ($31.5 contract), under-producing (43rd and 37th in the league in goals and assists respectively) punk.

In his defense, nobody is having a good year. Duncan Keith has been almost as bad as his haircut and Hossa has missed a lot of ice time. Is Kane entitled to a, dare I say it, "hangover" season? He consistently came up huge for the Hawks a year ago and helped deliver their first Cup since JFK established the Peace Corps in '61. I suppose so. But what PK needs to do is help us help him. Stop pulling Ferris Bueller sick days and turning in a thermometer to Coach Q that you just nuked under your hotel lamp. Keep your sweater on and show up on the daily...show some accountability. If you do that, then we'll put up with your Tara Reid headlines that you produce on the weekends. At least you're producing something.

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man was burned by Harvard Friday night and looks to President's Day as the stage to get back on track. For the Head of State holiday and in honor of Ryan "Little League" Lind, the Pulse Man likes Little League's alma mater, the Western Michigan Broncos to take care of business at home against Kent St. It's a pick 'em affair in Kalamazoo.

Pick of the Day: Kent St. @ Western Michigan (pick 'em)- WESTERN MICHIGAN

Record:(56-40-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost