Candy Kane

Self-admittedly, I don't know much about hockey. Foreign people love it, it involves a puck, fighting and a lot of people with short-tempers. For all I know, it might as well be the Real World: San Francisco. That is why before I write a blog on the Blackhawks, I usually consult someone who is well-versed in "the coolest game on earth". In this case, it was my main man, Ryan "Little League" Lind, a former hard hitting captain of the LZHS hockey club, that was referenced as the know-all in all things stick and puck. So in talking to Little League, it was apparent that he was understandably frustrated with the underachieving Hawks squad in 2011. Amongst other things, he mentioned to me how undervalued their 3rd line 'energy guys' were from a year ago (Sopel, Eager, Burish), and how much they miss Niemi in between the pipes. But most of all, they miss the Patrick Kane of old.

Even after watching Kane net the game-winning shootout goal with a pretty, stick side deke move in which he stole from Charlie Conway, it only salvaged his terrible overtime period. Kane was all over the ice in the extra frame, and I don't mean that in a complimentary way. He was loose with the puck, almost careless at times, and turned the puck over more times than an undercooked turkey burger. I know he missed some time recently due to illness and had to get some reps to wear off the rust, but 88 looked off on Sunday.

I'm not going to sit here and chastise Kane for supposedly being out slammin' sangria and sexting slam pieces on the night when he was supposedly ill. I don't care about that at all. He's 22 and has enough money to buy a round of shots for every person who resides in Estonia (who coincidentally love hockey), he's going to do what he wants. He's a frat boy with deep pockets and two sisters that are absolute dimes. So take your shirt off, beat the piss out of an innocent cabbie over the cost of a chiclet, chug Busch Lights incessantly in front of children that idolize you--I don't give a rip--live the life you love, Kaner. I have to say though, it was a lot easier to put up with his off-the-ice antics and write them off as cute when he was producing points. Now that he's been force fed 'Chicago sports icon' status, people are now starting to see Kane as an overpaid ($31.5 contract), under-producing (43rd and 37th in the league in goals and assists respectively) punk.

In his defense, nobody is having a good year. Duncan Keith has been almost as bad as his haircut and Hossa has missed a lot of ice time. Is Kane entitled to a, dare I say it, "hangover" season? He consistently came up huge for the Hawks a year ago and helped deliver their first Cup since JFK established the Peace Corps in '61. I suppose so. But what PK needs to do is help us help him. Stop pulling Ferris Bueller sick days and turning in a thermometer to Coach Q that you just nuked under your hotel lamp. Keep your sweater on and show up on the daily...show some accountability. If you do that, then we'll put up with your Tara Reid headlines that you produce on the weekends. At least you're producing something.

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man was burned by Harvard Friday night and looks to President's Day as the stage to get back on track. For the Head of State holiday and in honor of Ryan "Little League" Lind, the Pulse Man likes Little League's alma mater, the Western Michigan Broncos to take care of business at home against Kent St. It's a pick 'em affair in Kalamazoo.

Pick of the Day: Kent St. @ Western Michigan (pick 'em)- WESTERN MICHIGAN

Record:(56-40-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

Sharper Image

First of all, let me just say that whoever is in charge of making the final decision on the formatting of the NHL All-Star game should be working at Cash for Gold come Monday. I mean, for the love of the sport, find something that works and stick to it. In past years, we've had North America vs. The World, and Eastern Conference vs. Western Conference, establishing some firm allegiances for the players to represent. But this year, they chose to throw the sticks on the ice and have captains choose. Really? What is this? A pre-teen game of capture the flag? And furthermore, could they possibly decide upon two less controversial captains than Nicklas Lidstrom and Eric Staal. If they wanted to capture the nostalgia of Mystery, Alaska, you can't name two frontmen without any personality. Granted, Lidstrom and Staal are two of the best defenseman in the business, that's not even debatable, but they're not going to stir their teams into a frenzy in a meaningless exhibition game. Now, Crosby and Ovechkin, they could do that. But the NHL would never succumb to that wish because that would just be quenching too much of the viewer's thirst, and after all, they're still a major professional sports enterprise.

So with the meaningless teams decided and the goals piling up like Charlie Sheen rehab stints, the NHL's All-Stars casually skated around for a couple of hours and exchanged pleasantries with division and conference rivals. I get it. Hockey is a demanding sport and the NHL is a demanding season, let alone the playoffs. But this game was like watching Billy Elliot on Ice at the Allstate. The only highlight of the game was when Ovechkin blatantly threw his stick at Matt Duchene in an attempt to...I don't know, trip him? Make a joke? Ovechkin! (watch the ending)

Still, with all the crisp passing and playful skating that this game displayed, Patrick Sharp managed to make out with the game's MVP trophy. Honestly, I thought him and Mark Ruffalo switched places and Sharpie went to the SAG awards in some whimsical scheme they stole from an Olsen twins movie. What would you rather have, the NHL All-Star MVP trophy or the SAG award for playing the Best Supporting Actor in The Kids are All Right? Toss up. Either way, the guy who was wearing Patrick Sharp's jersey put the puck in the back of the net on one occasion and also contributed two helpers for "Team Staal". Perhaps this added hardware on Sharp's mantle can spark a spurt for the Blackhawks to become more consistent in the 2nd half. Now that they are finally close to full strength, the Hawks have a viable chance to climb the Eastern Conference ladder to avoid a grueling 7-game series in the playoffs' opening round. I guess we can consider All-Star weekend the highlight of the Blackhawks season so far--a popularity contest in which the homecoming king skated away with the highest award and a new car to get laid in...like he needed it.

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man is now amongst the elite company to win 50 bets in his first 1/2 year of professional betting. For tonight, the Pulse man likes the Jazz giving 3 at home to the Bobcats.

Pick of the Day: Bobcats @ Jazz (-3)- JAZZ

Record:(50-35-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost