Rap Sheet

For as much as I've used this blog as a platform to ruthlessly poke fun at the Toronto Raptors this season, I must say that I'm officially embarrassed today. I made those irrational comments a while back about people only being interested in the Raptors if they were to employ all denim unis and I think I may have even mentioned that I'd rather be in the D-League living on rye bread and Ramen than be under Jay Triano's watch as a Raptor. But Wednesday night,the purple dinosaurs from Ontario provided the Bulls with a much needed wake-up call before their showdown with the Miami Heat.

During the 1st quarter of last night's contest, the game resembled the first two meetings between the Bulls and Raptors so far this season--fast paced, high-scoring and hardly at the professional level defensively. Chicago was scoring at will in transition and Joakim literally pulled down every rebound he could get his hands on off the glass without a single Raptor challenging him. Noah had 10 first quarter rebounds in 8 minutes. The Bulls looked alive and alert despite Andrea Bargnani putting on a clinic from the low block on Taj Gibson.

In the second quarter, Ronnie Brewer found himself as a catalyst for 3 straight steals on 3 consecutive possessions. Triano had to call a timeout, calm down his squad, and make sure that everyone on the floor understood that #11 in red was not an offensive option for their team. Despite these instances of absolute superiority by the Bulls, I've got to say, the Raptors were impressive in the 2nd half and earned the W. Granted, the Bulls were pitiful, but the Raptors made me wonder.

Scrolling down the Raptor's roster, I figured out that Toronto has multiple players with the most unassuming names in the league. For instance, Ed Davis? He sounds like a guy who would hand you his business card at a corporate Verizon wireless store and expect you to ask for him by name the next time you supposedly "dropped your cell phone in water." In actuality, he's a 20 year-old rookie with stupid athleticism who had previously made use of the largest cotton t-shirt in the history of the human race during his days at UNC. Then you have Sonny Weems, a swingman from the deep south whose name lends itself to a combination of Adam Sandler's characters from the prime of his career--Big Daddy (Sonny Koufax) and Mr. Deeds (Longfellow Deeds). If that doesn't really start to make you think twice about the Raptors roster, look at former #1 overall pick, Andrea Bargnani. The Italian superstar nicknamed "Il Mago" (the magician) has to receive countless accidental google searches for people looking for Andrea Bocelli, the award-winning Italian tenor who also stakes claim as one of People Magazine's 50 most beautiful people. Throw in a sharp-shooting point guard with a name that sounds like a handsome Spanish prince (Jose Calderon) and an off-guard who has an uncanny resemblance to a garden snake (Leandro Barbosa) and there you have them, the Toronto Raptors.

After giving up 118 points to these Canadian misfits, Thibodeau had to have been spitting nails in the locker room. Simultaneously, as the Bulls were getting chewed out and then enduring a disheartening flight back to the Windy Cindy, James Johnson was enjoying an attractive french-Canadian Ontarian and his new promotion from 12th man to starting small forward. "Everything can change in the blink of an eye" -Bulls marketing slogan, 2002

As for Pick of the Day, the Grizzlies worked the T-Wolves in Minny and got Pulse Man his betting victory. For tonight, the Pulse Man likes the OVER in the Bulls/Heat game which is set at 192.5. After their defensive display last night, it should make for an easy cover.

Pick of the Day: Heat @ Bulls, total points-192.5- OVER

Record:(58-41-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost