If you had something better to do Sunday night around 8 o'clock, good for you. If you chose to view an abridged version of Happy Gilmore on ABC family instead of tuning into NBC for Sunday Night Football, wise choice. Even if you DVR'd a few eps of The Good Wife and spent Sunday evening getting your weekly Julianna Margulies fix, for once in your life, keeping tabs on the effects that menopausal crisis can have on middle aged women was far more exciting than anything that happened in the New Meadowlands Stadium on Sunday. Looking back, I'd rather have gone halfsies on a pack of menthols and watch the deleted scenes of Lonesome Jim with Casey Affleck. Everyone was sort of expecting some kind of fall from grace in the coming weeks but still, no one expected Cutler to feel more sacks than a public physician administering physicals in a strip-mall doctors office.
Needless to say, the Bears O-line Sunday night never really showed up. They embarrassingly allowed 10 sacks, countless hurries, and had the triumvirate of Cutler, Todd Collins and Caleb Hanie encounter more hits than funnyordie.com in a high school computer lab. After about 7 sacks, Cutler became easily frustrated and handed over the reigns to Todd Collins for the second half as the image of Kristin Cavallari fondling a bag of frozen peas over his concussed forehead became affixed in his mind. In the 2 hr. heap of inept offense and what appeared to be effectiveness on defense by default, I was curious as to who was to blame for the Bears inadequacies on the offensive side of the football. Was it the offensive line that looked quite possibly like the most easily movable 300 lb. objects in the world? Was it Cutler doing the 'stop, drop, and roll' every time he faced pressure in the pocket? Or was it Mike Martz, whose scheme against the Giants seemingly lacked any trace of a route Cutler could check down to? It had to be a mixture of the 3. Coming off a week in which the Bears had arguably their biggest win since the 2006 NFC Championship and had a lot to be proud of, they sludged through a historically dreadful output of 110 yards on national TV while looking completely unprepared in the process.
I understood to an extent that the Giants were looking to prove a point against the Bears after a disappointing 2 game losing streak that had NYC disgruntled and disheartened going into Sunday night. But, to think that at the end of the game we would have played all 3 quarterbacks on our roster, gained under 120 yards, averaged 1.4 yds. per pass, punted 9 times, went 0-13 on 3rd down and scored 3 total points was unfathomable until suffering through the hysterectomy that was Sunday Night Football.
On a brighter note, hopefully that blindside barrage of Todd Collins has spurred him toward retirement. What a garbage eater that guy is. There's a reason he's been a backup since the Cuban Missle Crisis. He is simply just awful. Always hanging around in the hotel lobby on team road trips reading The Bridges of Madison County in paperback, constantly sitting in the whirlpool to relieve his ailing back, and eternally preaching his investment strategy to Caleb Hanie when Caleb either A) only cares about the young female in the lower bowl with the low cut top and the loose curls, or B) is attentively transfixed on the trainers refilling the Gatorade cooler to see if they're funneling in his favorite flavor (presumably glacier freeze) into that giant orange jug. I refuse to give Todd Collins a chance. I pray to God Cutler's concussion symptoms subside before next week game against Carolina.
In looking forward to the Panthers matchup, if Cutler starts, we could have a faceoff between the two punkiest QB's since Ryan Leaf disappeared from the NFL. Seriously, Cutler and Clausen could be featured on a track on the next AFI CD. All I know is, the Panthers won't be a walk through win, and if the Bears drop a game in the Bible Belt next weekend and spoil Julius Peppers' homecoming, there could be a very pessimistic turn in the Bears season predictions.
As for Pick of the Day, with the ability to bet on meaningless baseball games gone, the Pulse Man has shifted into playoff baseball/football mode for the rest of the fall until the NBA picks up around Halloween. After a solid weekend in which he covered two of his 3 bets on Saturday including a 3-team parlay at (+438), The Pulse Man faces a pick-em spread in tonight's jargon laden Monday Night Football broadcast. He likes Tom Brady, his haircut, and the rest of the Pats to get a win on MNF.
Pick of the Day: Patriots @ Dolphins- Patriots (-105)
Record: (22-15-0)
Now I'm done. Rack me
Frost
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