Ice, Ice, Baby

First of all, sorry for the title. I had no intention to get you thinking about Vanilla Ice's retched karaoke performance on 'The Surreal Life'. I'm promoting crew neck Miami Hurricanes sweatshirt "with my rag-top down so my hair can blow" Vanilla. In any event, it's pushing 80 degrees in Chicago right now, so it's clear that hockey season is now upon us. With the Blackhawks starting what hopes to be another successful season, we can expect to once again read more ill-advised facebook statuses from college aged females than ever before, i.e. "Hawks game, then girls night with ______, KD love:) I like it on the ice baby!!!!", and hear the song from that damn Amstel Light commercial ringing in our ears ad nauseum. However, you can't blame the Blackhawks for having their bandwagon grow as crowded as a Ford Winstar heading to Panama City Beach in mid-March, they won the cup, and won over hockey aficionados everywhere. The Blackhawks 2010 season proved that winning outweighs any clever marketing scheme concieved by a bunch of corporate dorks, and having a few players that relate to your whiskey-nose, young 20's, free-spirited mentality definitely doesn't inhibit jersey sales.

But the Hawks aren't the same team they were a year ago. Many things have changed--thank god the 'Ice Girls' aren't one of them. First things first, they have a diffrerent man in net. From what I know about hockey and the NHL, you're only as good as your last line of defense. I guess this theory holds true in most sports, but a certain amount of credence and trusteeship must be instilled in your homwetown hockey goalie. We effortlessly made the shift from Antti Niemi to Uncle Marty in a move that saved the Hawks some money in their efforts to stay below the salary cap. Hopefully, Uncle Marty turns into the kind of fun-loving fathers-brother who splashes your Diet Coke with a little Jack D at the family Christmas table and gifts you with gift cards to DICK's rather than a fly fishing kit and a sweater he got off clearance at Kohls. Turco never surrendered a losing season in Dallas for the Stars (still can't believe they left Minneapolis after that plug Gordon Bombay gave them in D1) and is definitely a formidable and capable replacement in goal for the Blackhawks.

As far as offense goes, the Blackhawks were the 3rd highest scoring team in the league last season. But after the Madison Ave. garage sale that occured earlier this summer, don't expect this year's team to be netting goals on command like Jaromir Jagr did in every single hockey video game that was ever issued to the public prior to 2005. The 3rd amigo in Chicago's infamous first line is now Fernando Pisdani as he will be accompanying Sharp and Kane and likely get some 'scoring' (pun absolutely intended) opportunities on that shift as a result. Spelling them will be the the rock solid line of Kopecky-Toews-Hossa which has become as uniform in Chicago as $3.50 slice deals at Rosatis, and hopefully just as satisfying.

On the other side of the blue line, Duncan Keith and his lack of respect for the small,calcified, whitish strcutures in his mouth was awarded the coveted coverboy for the NHL11 video game this fall and he will once again be the anchor of the Blackhawks defense. With the loss of Brett Sopel, the Hawks rid themselves of arguably the worst skater in the NHL, but also a guy that would take a puck in the adams apple for the Hawks. Still, there will be no shortage of sliding puck blocks (easily the best play in hockey) with Campbell, Seabrook and Niklas Hjalmarsson protecting Marty Turco.

Overall, there will unquestionably be some sort of hangover due to the gallons of Busch Light that were drank by Kane and Co. this summer and hopefully no illegitamate children are a result of the last 3 months. No team has repeated as holders of the cup since the division-rival Red Wings pulled it off in the late 90's, but god knows everyone in Chicago will be talking about how big of a Hawks fan they are, so I suppose I'll get out my Zamboni's CD and keep my eyes peeled for the Hockey Monkey.

As for Pick of the Day, The Pulse Man is struggling heading into the weekend. But when the baseball playoffs do you wrong, there's nothing like a good 6 pack to ease your mind of betting debt. The Pulse Man's Saturday 6 pack is listed below, with the Sunday Teaser soon following on S-A, T-U-R, D-A-Y, NIGHT!

Saturday 6 Pack

2 Team Parlay:
1. Alabama (-7) @ South Carolina- BAMA
2. Minnesota @ Wisconsin- Combined Total Points 58- UNDER

3 Team Parlay:
1. Michigan St. @ Michigan- MICHIGAN, moneyline
2. BYU (+4.5) @ San Diego St.- BYU
3. Aurburn @ Kentucky- AUBRUN, moneyline

'Big Ticket Pick of the Day':
USC @ Stanford-Combined Total Points, 59-OVER

Record: (23-17-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost