South Bent

You would think that one of the countries most celebrated and prestigious college institutions would be producing alumni that would be either running pro sports teams, or running campaigns for political office. Instead, Notre Dame has recently been breeding alums that are running agonizing advertising campaigns while also running from the South Bend Campus Police. In fact, Mike Golic, Brady Quinn and Joe Montana- three proud "golden domers", have been seen on TV pushing weight loss plans, dietary supplements and most horrific of all--Skechers Shape-Ups. It is easy to diagnose that Notre Dame football is not in the state that it was when these three advertising gurus slapped the "Play Like a Champion" sign. However, their own recent judgment makes them more vulnerable to ridicule than the recently scrutinized Nate Montana.

First off, there is Mike Golic. We love you on the radio. Hell, we even tolerate you on ESPN. But when the commercial break hits and we see you and your brother Bob (formerly the RA on Saved By the Bell: The College Years) endorsing Nutrisystem in between innings, you have no right to not be made fun of--that's the low spot on the totem pole, Mike. We get it "Your wife doesn't think you're disgusting anymore" and "You lost 51 lbs. on Nutrisystem" by eating dried apricots and hummus wraps. Still, nobody cares or wants to see it advertised by you. If you had lost weight, we would've noticed, Greenberg would have complimented you, and you would be proud. Instead your stuck on director's breaks at the Nutrisystem set drinking Coke Zero's with Steve Beurlein because you can't go over your calorie count while constantly talking about how much you look like Jeff Garlin. I understand you wanted to lose weight Golic--just not like this.

Even more of a deplorable situation is what is going on with the Montana family. First, Nate Montana had to deal with his dad wearing Skechers to begin with. Then, he found out that they were Shape-Ups, the shoe designed to straighten your posture and tighten your posterior. Really Joe Cool? 3 Super Bowl MVP's, 8 Pro Bowls, and a pair of shoes that will inevitably lead to your demise. Truly a walk of shame Joe, at least you had good posture doing it. As a result of all of this, your son Nate is being scrutinized on the front page of ESPN for having a few too many barley pops at a college frat party. Really? Is this the only news we had that day? Nate probably sat in his dorm room, contemplated the pros and cons of going out and thought "Hey, I look way to good in this 'Irish Today, Drunk Tommorrow' t-shirt I got at Spencers, and Clausen did this stuff all the time." It really is unfortunate that 3 hours later they found him in the corner of a crowded basement flirting with a National Merit Scholar from Joliet Catholic that was a little tipsy off of Sutter Home Cabernet.

Last but not least, we go to Brady Quinn. Whose dismal NFL career was over before it began when he came out with his EAS "Now I'm Done" Whey Protein marketing campaign. Realistically, you should probably make sure you're going to start over Charlie Frye before you start endorsing products, Brady. Maybe he'll get his shot in Denver. All I know is that him and Tebow's push-up contest on the first day of Bronco's mini-camp is going to be one for the record books. Perhaps they'll each talk about their carb-loading plan before each day so they're both adequately prepared and then see how many receivers they can underthrow? Just a thought.

I know technically Sean Astin isn't a graduate of Notre Dame, but playing the main character in Rudy--a film that exemplifies pride in Notre Dame football like none else comes with some great responsibility, so he deserves to be in this category of despondency. He could have been Notre Dame's Hollywood hero. Instead, Astin made the bold career moves to star in Encino Man alongside Pauly Shore, and the utter atrocity that is The Final Season (don't watch it). These eventually led to his current occupation, narrator for the cable series Meerkat Manor on Animal Planet. If you've never seen it (I watched two seasons on Netflix in college), it's a reality show about meerkats, which are kind of like African squirrels. You probably don't believe me, but this is all true.

As for pick of the day, I'm coming in hot off a much needed win. Today's bet was recommended once again by the Pulse Man who is seemingly getting comfortable with the notion of "blog betting." So, today we have our first parlay. The Pulse likes the Braves over the Padres and the Twins over the Indians which comes out to a total of (+165). Let's hope to get back to even.

Daily Bet: PARLAY: TWINS over INDIANS/BRAVES over PADRES (+165)
RECORD: (2-3-0)