Playing it Off

With yet another impressive weekend in which the Bulls swept through their competition, it might be time to start looking ahead. The "MVP" serenades during D. Rose's free-throw routine have began to enter into the redundancy period for me after I saw Comcast air a middle-aged woman in a low-cut tank top with seemingly the same Basketball acumen as my 2nd grade school teacher mouthing the words to the popular chant during the Milwaukee telecast.

The swooning from analysts has become all too commonplace as the Bulls are a virtual lock to close out the season as the Eastern Conference's #1 seed. Not that I'm jumping to any conclusions prematurely, but the Bulls have 10 games left and still have the T-Wolves, Pistons, Raptors, Cavs and Nets ahead on their schedule (worst case scenario: 6-4).

With a two game lead on the C's for superiority in all things basketball East of the Rockies, it's safe to say the Bulls have their hand in the glove. Then again, we are in Chicago--albeit a long ways away from Wrigley field and the goat sacrificing that goes on up there--we are still conditioned to expect the worst.

So without any further deliberation, let's get to the matter at hand (I'm a few credits short in my aspirations to become Atticus Finch). Who will the Bulls play in the opening round? Historically, the top seed has had no problem winning these incommensurate match-ups, but we don't want the Bulls droning through a 10-day tango either. Here is a comprehensive list of the possible opponents Chicago might see in the opening round.

Sixers - (-16.5 GB, 1-1 vs. CHI) The Sixers are certainly an interesting and intriguing bunch. Since the Bulls played them in the playoffs last during the 1990-1991 season, Philly has adopted a new logo, reverted back to the original logo, drafted Iverson, worshiped Iverson and then traded Iverson. It's funny to think that the Bulls now have a Turkish center and the former face of Philly's franchise is playing in a second-tier Turkish league. Also during this time, the Garbage Picking, Field Goal Kicking, Philadelphia Phenomenon was released starring Tony Danza. Strange days indeed.

Not to mention, Doug Collins coached the Bulls during the initial Jordan years of the late 1980's and was canned just in time to watch the Zen Master rattle off 6 titles in Chicago. If you're Doug, that's like getting divorced by your wife, having her marry a quasi-Buddhist monk with a Scottrade account, earning enough money through said account to use their rolled up singles as Q-tips and rolling papers, and then invest their equitable assets into forming the most lucrative dynasty the NBA has ever seen. Sounds like you missed out, Doug.

But the 2011 Sixers have been marked by their potential. Elton Brand and Andrea Iguodala have been around the block in the heart of blue-collar "Rocky Country", but the added youth of Jrue Holiday, Jodie Meeks, Thaddeus Young and Evan Turner have labeled the Sixers as overachievers this season and have kept Doug Collins name in the Coach of the Year debate. Can they beat the Bulls? No, but Doug Collins has enough X's and O's up his sleeve from broadcasting 54,329 games on TNT over the past 5 years to push it to a 5 or 6 game set--exactly what can trip the Bulls up in the future.

Knicks-(-18.5 GB, 2-0 vs. CHI) New team, new style, same bad blood between the Bulls and Knicks. Xavier McDaniel and Anthony Mason might be face up in the sun in Boca Raton after 4 back surgeries each, but I assure you that if the Bulls play the Knicks in round 1, there will be some hard fouls issued similar to the ones of old.

What scares me about the Knicks is what scares everybody about the Knicks--they can score on anyone. Carmelo and Amare can fill it up against the best team defenders in the world, and have proven that to some extent during their brief partnership together in the Big Apple. The Bulls have showed the capability to win without scoring in the triple digits this season, which is a testament to how far they have come as a team on the defensive end.

But, they have also shown that if Rose goes ice-cold like the scene from Cool Runnings where Sanka (Doug E. Doug) gets stuck in the Ice Cream truck, they can go an extended period of time without scoring. Now I would hesitate to call Carmelo and Amare tough-nosed, blue collar guys, but I think Toney Douglas, Chauncey Billups and Landry Fields provide them with that "chip on your shoulder" mentality that the Knicks always held near and dear during the John Starks era.

I wouldn't feel comfortable seeing the Knicks in round 1 because of their potential to follow through with the unfathomable. Realistically though, I don't think they have a chance to make a deep run this year judging by their lack of interest in defense, and they have an assistant coach named Dan D'Antoni--that can't help. Still, they're 2-0 versus the Bulls already this season so what do I know?

Pacers- (-22 GB, 1-3 vs. CHI) It is no secret that Indiana is the most Caucasian-laden team in the NBA, and believe it or not, that includes Utah. Jeff Foster, Mike Dunleavy (currently injured), Josh McRoberts and Tyler Hansbrough all see time for the Indiana 'Race'-ers. Throw some unathleticism in the middle in the form 7'2'' center, Roy Hibbert, and you have a possible Eastern Conference 8 seed.

The Pacers really haven't made much noise since Larry Legend stepped down from Head Coach and appointed someone that he never really liked, and people trusted less than an ex-girlfriend with an assortment of dirty texts at her disposal. Since then though, the Pacers have been winning the "right" way, and presumably the "white" way based on the talent pool they move through Conseco Fieldhouse every home game.

In fact, the Pacers knocked off the Bulls last Friday in an overtime thriller that saw the Bulls as a lethargic, shot-missing bunch carried much of the way by their MVP point guard. Knowing that Rose almost willed the Bulls to victory on a night when the rest of their team shot an equivalent percentage to a young student on a spelling pretest doesn't bode well for Indiana basketball fans. Go Butler, maybe the Pacers can lure Brad Stevens to the league, or else I think he's destined for a PLAYGIRL cover.

Bobcats/Bucks- (-23 GB/-24 GB, 2-2 vs. CHI, 0-4 vs. CHI) Lastly, the two teams on the outside looking in on the 2011 NBA Playoffs are the Charlotte Bobcats and the Milwaukee Bucks. As a proud owner of a Charlotte Hornets quarter-zip Starter jacket, I'm ashamed to say that the Bobcats actually exist...not that anyone has noticed. They are consistently making mindless trades in order to get them out of the red and their most recognizable face is in upper management. Nothing in Charlotte is necessarily peachy.

They did beat the Bulls twice earlier in the year, but that was when they still held the rights to Gerald Wallace, a guy who always gave the Bulls problems. Now, you can conceivably argue that Stephen Jackson is their best player (seriously, look at their roster). I feel that their only reason for existence is for Michael Jordan to use the Bobcats as a forum in finally succeeding in helping the world understand what he once saw in Kwame Brown, and therefore I would love to see them in round 1.

As for the Bucks, we saw them fold up like paper in fire again in Milwaukee this weekend and had no answer when the Bulls flipped the switch (lot of cliches there, I apologize). The Bucks are 0-4 against the Bulls this year and don't pose much of a threat with their current roster. However, if they can somehow get healthy for the road ahead (except for Michael Redd, he'll never play a full season again), they could instill a little fear in their opponents to go along with their Christmas color scheme. God bless whoever they have in merchandise sales.

With all of that being said, the Bulls still have games against the Celtics and Magic to use as a measuring stick heading into their second season. But, if all goes according to plan, one of these teams could have a date with D.Rose in the conference quarters...buyer beware.

As for Pick of the Day, it's been a while since the Pulse Man has bet, but as always he is anxious to get his money out and lay on the table. For tonight, the Pulse Man advocates for the Stanford women giving 9 points to the Gonzaga Lady Bulldogs in West region play of the Women's NCAA Tourney. He's an equal opportunity employer, and a ladies man, so get off of his back.

Pick of the Day: Stanford (-9) vs. Gonzaga- STANFORD

Record:(61-49-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

King(s) of the East

Currently, I'm watching the halftime show of the Bulls/Hawks game in which the Bulls have amassed a 29 point first half lead. So forgive me if I go off on a tangent about Brent Barry's meticulously gelled hair and window pane suit complete with the fashionable accent color handkerchief. The dude has the tightest sideburns in the broadcasting business. Can you believe this guy has participated in both the 3-point showdown and the dunk contest? Has anyone besides Brent ever done that? Not to mention, he's Caucasian and his old man looked as if he was growing a tail every time he stepped to the charity stripe. I'm not sure what his wife was thinking running around with Tony Parker; I guess some guys just can't catch a break. Either way, with Kenny "The Jet" Smith and Greg Anthony covering the NCAA tourney and taking a brief hiatus from analyzing the NBA, I sure am glad that this halftime show is over. TNT is going to blow up (no pun intended).

As for the game, for the second night in a row the Bulls are on a scoring binge comparable to a Paul Westhead team of the mid 1990's. They hung 132 on the Sacramento Queens last night and cemented the NBA's decision to contract that futile franchise in California's Central Valley. The Bulls won 132-92 last night. That's 40 points...during the 40 days and 40 nights of the Lent season. Where is Josh Hartnett when you need him? Then again, where is he when you don't need him? I haven't seen that scrub since Black Hawk Down.

With the Bulls tied for the Eastern Conference lead with the Boston Celtics, they are now attracting some extra shmooze from basketball gurus like "The Czar" Mike Fratello and Timmy Legler. Additionally, the Bulls can conceivably beat out the Celts for the 1 seed judging by their schedule from here on in. For instance, Memphis, Milwaukee, Philly, Minnesota, Detroit and Toronto in their next 6? I'd honestly rather play those teams than mow through the bottom half of the Pac-10. The talent distribution in the NBA is atrocious. Asking teams like Sacramento, Detroit and Minnesota to compete is like sending Jimmy Eat World into the studio to try and recreate Springsteen's "Born In the U.S.A." album.

With the Bulls' offensive production reaching new heights over the course of the past few days, you can only hope that they can save some legs for an extensive postseason push. With Rose leading the pack for the MVP crown and Thibs on the short list for NBA Coach of the Year, the Bulls need to remain focused and stay hungry like Kelly Clarkson after she won American Idol.

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

Strange Brewer

The Chicago Bulls officially get things going on Wednesday by making a trip to Bricktown and facing off against one of the most youthful and exciting teams in the league, the OKC Thunder (my second favorite team). Tom Thibodeau seems to have his squad ready for the ESPN prime time tussle and has finalized his roster to 13 by cutting a few of my favorite Bulls, most notably Beloit, WI native and former Wazzou standout Kyle Weaver and former U of I role player "the Reverand" Roger Powell. I thought for sure that Kyle would weave his way (no pun intended) into the Bulls basket being the long, rangy defender that he is. Either way, he'll catch on with an obscure NBA franchise and cause me to contemplate spending $55 on a personalized Indiana Pacers jersey--it could be worse. But in a move that is much more consequential, Thibodeau has named Keith Bogans his starter at the 2 alongside Rose, Deng, Gibson and Noah, leaving out free-agent acquisitions Ronnie Brewer and Kyle Korver as well as high-flying sparkplug, James Johnson.

Thibodeau's decision proves to me that it is going to either be his way, or the Jane Addams Memorial Tollway for Bulls players this season, and also affirms that the new-look Bulls are going to have to prove themselves on the floor to compete for their own playing time. No longer will the Bulls be the 'mental midgets' that morph into the maladroit mixture that folds whenever the UC clock signals the start of the 4th quarter like they were under Vinny Del Negro. Still, I thought that Brewer was a perfect rook in Thibodeau's chess-like defensive scheme, which employs constantly changing sets, lending itself to a player like Brewer whose 6'7'' frame fits him into 3 positions comfortably. Perhaps Thibs opted for Bogans at the 2 because he poses more of a scoring threat based on Ronnie Brewer's undexterous J that is oddly enough the result of a childhood waterslide injury in Arkansas (what the hell goes on down there?). Perhaps he's concerned about Brewer's off the court involvement with his first cousin, rapper Guilty Simpson (seriously, what the ____?) whose first three CD's were entitled OJ Simpson 1, OJ Simpson 2, and Ode to the Ghetto which boasts his top single "Gettin' Bitches". I swear I didn't just make that up.

For now, I'm going to trust Thib's decisions because he has probably forgotten more basketball than I'll ever know, specifically NBA basketball. All I'm saying is, Bogans is going to have his work cut out for him matching up with reigning NBA scoring Champ Kevin Durant, a player whose body is seemingly is made up from a combination of popsicle sticks and rubberbands, accommodating his playing style as the most versatile scorer in the NBA. The Bulls/Thunder matchup should be exciting to say the least. We all know how riveting Rose, Noah and James Johnson can be for the Bulls. Now throw Russell Westbrook, Durant, James Harden and Jeff Green on the same floor, and you have an exhilarating 48 minutes of pro basketball...should be fun.


Note: If you're wondering why the Thunder are my 2nd favorite team, just look at their roster, their jerseys, and James Harden's shoes. I know Matt DeMars and Jeff Heiden have the same opinion, because whenever the Thunder played on National TV in college, we sat on the couch, drank an absurd amount of Barq's Root Beer (except Jeff, only uncarbonated Pink Lemonade) and raved about how 'sick' the Thunder were. I even remember DeMars threatning to steal an OKC Thunder hooded sweatshirt off of a random campus passerby. As you may know, the Thunder have Durant, Westbrook, Green and Harden as their familiar names, but what you may not know is that their roster also boasts Kansas farmboys Nick Collison and Cole Aldrich (who I heard has recently purchased replacement incisor front-teeth), intangible imports like Serge Ibaka and Thabo Sefalosha, lights out launchers Eric Maynor and Mo Peterson (him and Charlie Bell are the last of the Flintstones left), and DJ White, who mainstreamed the full-length T on a big man look at IU that you now see regularly in college hoops. The only player I dislike is Byron Mullens, who recently told the media not to refer to him as B.J. anymore (Why did you ever think BJ was a good idea?), and sports the most abominable facial hair/fade combo in the NBA now that Adam Morrison is out of work.

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man likes the Giants and Mitch Kramer from Dazed and Confused to take down the untouchable Cliff Lee in game 1 of the Fall Classic. I'm not sure why the Rangers are favorites in this game, but the Giants are getting good value at home (+116) in their first world series since the Barry Bonds Biceps era in '02.

Pick of the Day: Phillies @ Giants- GIANTS, moneyline (+116)

Record:(25-20-0)

Also, check out my good friend Kevin Bulger's blog at www.freckleinaforeigncity.blogspot.com . He's currently playing pro basketball in England, so he has some interesting insights into his culture shock. Also, if you haven't already, which most of you seemingly have, you can vote for him on the 'guest blog poll.'

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost