Much like Arnold Schwarzenegger, women's leggings, and His Airness himself, Chicago Sports Noise is making a temporary comeback. The summer months have rendered me feeble and television-spent. Simply put, there are not enough episodes of the Real World: St. Thomas to service a full-day,and as much as I love getting my DDoD (Daily dose of Scott Disick) and his unflappable head of Pantene Pro-V infused flow, the free agent market of the NBA has me too pent up with confusion and amelioration to let it go unvoiced.
Coming off of what can be classified as one of the most disheartening seasons in recent memory for the Chicago Bulls, they now find themselves searching to temporarily piece together a roster that will be void of the face of their franchise. When the indestructible D. Rose succumbed to a non-contact knee injury (don't watch the link; you'll hate me) in the waning moments of a seemingly sure-fire victory, Chicago residents from the North Shore to the South Loop breathed a collective a gasp of anxiety. And, as the subsequent losses only proved how the non-potent Bulls would wilt against the Sixers like a Rose devoid of water (no pun intended), the news of Rose's prolonged absence had Bulls fans thinking only one question for the free agent summer of 2012: What will this team look like in 2013?
Considering the disposition of NBA players has shifted from a competitive breeding ground as it was during the Bush and Clinton administrations of the early 90's to a friendship-laden, AAU-like, "let me just be with my friends" infantile mindset that it has become under Bush and Obama's campaigns (ironic, eh?), the Bulls find themselves with some serious catching up to do (or Keeping Up to do, if you work for E!).
Steve Nash, the most sought after member of the free agent class of 2012, has clearly expressed that his favorite book of all time is The Color Purple and will be shifting shades and moving to Hollywood to play with another player who already dominates the ball. It's hard to even fathom what Kobe, Pau, and Nash will look like in purple and gold, but it might render something comparable to Crosby, Stills, and Nash on a healthy amount of hallucinogenics: all messed up with nowhere to go.
With Brooklyn proving as "trendy" as tortoise-rimmed Ray-Bans and rolled up denim, and with Houston offering ludicrous contracts to role players like their some bizarro version of the LA Clippers, Gar Forman is nesting the Bulls just where they need to be.
With the selection of Marquis Teague with their late-first round pick in last week's draft, the Bulls clearly went with the "best available" route like a late-night Lincoln Park single at Beaumonts. If this trend continues, it would render them letting Houston have Omer Asik for a preposterous amount of money for 6 points and 9 boards a game (rough estimate for 2013). The Bulls would most likely then go after Nazr Mohammed or Jordan Hill, who are both very capable of backing up our pony-tailed Parisian, Joakim Noah, at the 5 spot.
With the signing of the ol' Captain, Kirk Hinrich, the Bulls brought back a fan favorite who sold more tank tops to teenage white girls than Express and Forever 21 combined (the Pulse Man has one as well). In due time, fans at the Madhouse will be donning rec specs like bad-visioned teenagers with a resounding love for athletics. This signing leaves the Bulls with an immediate solution to Rose's absence if CJ Watson ventures outside of the 312 for increased cash flow, which is very plausible considering there are now 7 or 8 really relevant teams in the NBA due to the game's biggest superstars conglomerating like "Bros 4 Life"; seriously, get these guys some wooden paddles and a copy of the Greek Alphabet. Way to go, Lebron.
The Bulls will still need some work, though, and my favorite options left in the free agent pool for Chicago, regardless of whether they are pursuing them or not are: Jeff Green, Lou Williams, and JJ Hickson. You have no idea how hard it was for me to not include Delonte West on that list, but I just don't think that there are enough doughnut shops in Deerfield to keep this man happy.
As an NBA fan, I'm anxious to see how the next few weeks shape up in free agency and who ends up where. As a Bulls fan, I genuinely trust Gar Forman; albeit with the worst first name in professional sports.
As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man will return to duty tomorrow. He cannot operate on 24 hours notice. If you are wondering about his general well-being, let it be known to the world that he has a borderline girlfriend. If that's not enough information, please stay tuned and keep reading.
Now I'm done. Rack me.
Frost
*sorry for operating under this new, fairly ghetto URL. www.chicagosportsnoise.com was sold to an internet wholesaler who currently uses it to move sporting goods. It is in no way, shape, or form associated with this website.*
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