Final Four-play

As a jumping off point, let the record show that I know two Ivy league graduates: one, an uber-cute Cornell alumnus who apparently married into some heavy East Egg cash and is currently sipping lattes like they're streaming from the Britta filter. The other Ivy Leaguer, of course, is my main man, KB Toyz. It is Chicago Sports Noise's pleasure to have a highly accredited scholar from Columbia (a prestigious university that FDR, his distant cousin Teddy, and Warren "I'm richer than Jimmy" Buffett also attended) contribute to 'The Noise'. Needless to say, KB is already over-qualified to analyze the NCAA tournament based on his educational credentials. You would think he spent his 4 years of undergrad immersed in Oscar Wilde novels and delving deep into endless arithmetic reasoning. Instead, he serenaded the best schools in America with the sweet music of his 18-foot jumper as a member of Columbia's basketball squad and is now enjoying the fruits of being a professional athlete across the pond in England. Without further ado, here are is picks. Remember, "Beware the Ides of March." -William Shakespeare-

This is always the time of the year when the so called “experts” give
you supposedly sound advice on how to fill out your NCAA bracket. They
highlight “some possible upset” picks of which to look out for and you
inevitably start drinking their Kool Aid, only to be heartbroken when the
number 2 seed you picked to lose in the second round runs to the Final
4 (I know from experience dude). Instead of falling victim to that
snarky douche, Doug Gottlieb, make your picks on your own accord
people.

That being said I am now going to give you some general guidelines
that ought to help you during this process. The NBA is about talent
whereas college basketball is about coaching. If you are conflicted on
a pick, go with the more experienced coach. I would put my money on the
Izzo’s and Pitino’s of the world (in any enviornment other than Applebee's) rather than picking a lower seed to upset them. In fact, as a general guideline I would not bet against Tom Izzo in March (at least not in rounds 1 and 2).

BYU is not nearly as good as people want you to think they are. Don’t get me
wrong, I absolutely love Jimmer, but this team is a decaffeinated mess right
now. When it gets to crunch time, someone other then Jimmer is going to
have to make a big play and I just don’t see it happening.

In keeping with the Mountain West, SDSU is much more poised to make a
deep run into the tourney then BYU is. In fact, I have BYU on “upset
alert” in the first round against Wofford. Wofford has played some big
name competition tough over the past couple of years and their coach, Mike
Young, has been around the block and knows how to game plan for a guy
that can drop a cool 30 while looking like the kid who was the
perennial “Sportsmanship Award Winner” at basketball camp (See:
Stephen Curry)

It is all about the guards people. If you are struggling to make a
pick, take a look at the rosters and see which team appears to have the
better (and more experienced) guards. For instance, a team like Texas worries
me because aside from senior Jai Lucas, they have very little experience
in the backcourt. If I am a Kansas fan, I am also worried about their
guard play. When one of your starting guards is a struggling freshman
and the other was recently suspended, that does not exactly scream
FINAL 4. In terms of teams with solid guard play, I definitely like
Pittsburgh as they are old and Jamie Dixon is a veteran coach in
March. Missouri is also a team I like. Experienced guards AND a style
that most teams haven’t played against all year makes them poised to
make a deep run.

But, whatever you do, remember the "Butter Face" rule. You know when you
see a girl and everything is nice BUT her face? Yes, of course you do.
Well there are also Butter Face teams in this tournament.A Butter Face team is one that does a couple things really well but they don’t have that overall game
that we hope to see from a title contender. Notre Dame is a prime
example. They have tremendous outside shooting capability but their
inside game is like Egyptian Cotton. I would advise all of you to
handle any Butter Face teams in the bracket the same way you would
handle a Butter Face in real life. Be cordial, exchange some niceties,
but never allow yourself to get into a deep conversation. The same
holds true while filling out your brackets, if you see a Butter Face
team, I would suggest not letting them get any further than round 2. And
as a general rule of thumb, don’t let yourself go any further than
second base in real life. Unless you're Dan in Real Life.

Now, I am about to give you my “upset” picks. Remember what I told you,
when it comes to listening to others, follow the tried and true advice
of Stone Cold Steve Austin: “Don’t Trust Anyone.” That being said, here we go.
Utah State won 30 games this year and while I certainly haven’t seen them play, I did some research and they have a solid PG and a good inside game. I seem them giving Kansas State some trouble in the opening round; just don’t tell that to Frank Martin. Wofford over BYU as I alluded to earlier is another sleeper. I also like two Atlantic 10 teams Richmond and Xavier. Both have excellent point guards in Tu Holloway and Kevin Anderson and both teams can beat you in multiple ways. Other teams you might be sleeping on that can make a Final 4 run are as follows. Southwest: Purdue, they lock up and have flown below the radar all season. Have a great guard in E’twaun Moore and a jumping jack big man in Jajuan Johnson. Southeast: Wisconsin, one of the best guards in the tournament in Jordan Taylor and a balanced inside outside attack. Also, Bo Ryan.

My Final 4 picks: Ohio State, SDSU, Pitt and Purdue. I predict Ohio
State will beat Pitt in the ‘Chip 60-53. DTA people. DTA.

A very happy March Madness to all of you.

Rack me

KB.