McMahon's McMemory

Jim McMahon accomplished nearly everything his talent level alloted him to during his football career. His life and career began in Jersey City, New Jersey where he was somehow passed up for the lead role of Frankie Valli in the Broadway hit, Jersey Boys, urging him to chase down his football dream. Then, paradoxically, Jim took his talents to Provo, Utah to star first at punter, then later excelling at quarterback for the BYU Cougars, cementing his legacy as one of the best QB's in Cougar history (besides Steve Young, who may or may not be related to the actual Brigham Young, thus giving him an unfair advantage with the Mormons). In the NFL, he won two Super Bowls in the same building (the Superdome, coincidentally), with 2 rival teams (Packers '96 and Bears '85), against the same team (Patriots)--now that is just downright bizarre. He was also named to one Pro Bowl, showed up to his first NFL press conference with a beer in hand, starred in a rap video, pioneered the ridiculous 'QB's wearing gloves' movement, and was arrested for a DUI, all in one career. I think McMahon did everything under the sun in his near 15 years in the league except become a ploy in McDonalds' marketing campaign for the McRib (he was sidelined with bruised ribs in '84), which should have been a no brainer (no pun intended). What a career. Too bad Jim can't seem to remember any of it.

McMahon has recently made public that he has encountered severe memory loss stemming from the blows to the head he withstood during his 6 team, 14 year tour of the NFL as a starting quarterback. Now first and foremost, I am by no means belittling the NFLPA's passion-driven movement to gain increased benefits for players once they retire, and I'm definitely not downgrading the severity of head trauma that concussions can create later in life. But, I am in fact roasting McMahon's neoteric "cry for me" campaign like it's Comedy Central and I'm Lisa Lampanelli.

Perhaps the most thought-provoking comment that McMahon has made recently was his proclamation that he often times, "walks into a room and forgets why [he] walked in there." Really Jim? How many Labbat Blue's did you have before you walked into the room? Ever since the "punky Qb known as McMahon" left BYU, he has been trying to relive all of the microbrews, frat parties, and flapper girl moments he missed out on during his years in Provo. I'm not sure if Jim is completely aware, but much like a medical rap sheet of concussions, binge drinking may also have played its part in McMahon's recent forgetfullness 10 years removed from the NFL huddle. There is something to be said in this situation for the NFL lifestyle (see: Pacman Jones making it rain in the 'scrip club' as evidence), and with Jim's press-conference barley pops and DUI conviction on record, it's kind of hard to look away. It almost draws more attention to himself than those silly headbands did in his playing days. Perhaps they may have been wound a bit too tight.

On the other hand, McMahon's playing style as a QB only compounds the problem. Da Bears fans cheered as he dove head-first like Pete Rose for first downs and abandoned the conventional quarterback etiquette of the 'feminine slide.' Football is a gruesome game filled with visions, decisions and collisions with 300 pound monsters in which only a thin sheet of polycarbonate protects them from your dome. As a former NFL QB and now a spokesman for a male enhancement product I have two words for you Jim McMahon...protect yourself.

As for Pick of the Day, another day, another cover for the Pulse Man as the T-Wolves covered behind two of the most underachieving # 2 picks of all-time in Darko Milicic and Michael "B-easy" Beasley. For Tuesday, the Pulse Man is going to shift his gears to the NCAA basketball frontier as he likes Steve Lavin and the St. Johns Red Storm to cover the 3.5 points they're getting at Saint Mary's (CA).

Pick of the Day: St. Johns (+3.5) @ Saint Mary's (CA)- ST.JOHNS (-105)

Record:(31-23-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost