Forgetting Sean Marshall

Just in case you don't follow me on Twitter (@FrostyAustin), which I do not blame you for considering you are already reading this--following me on a social network may drive you to insanity 140 characters at a time--you missed out on this tweet brigade inspired by Sean Marshall's 7th inning heroics last night.

@FrostyAustin: Sean "The Adonis" Marshall, fresh off a 50/50 Svedka/Riptide Rush mixer in the pen, steps into the 1 run ballgame.

approximately 1 minute later...

@FrostyAustin: Sean "The Adonis" Marshall should be able to pitch in one of those trendy button-downs from J. Crew that are seemingly made of tissue paper.

3 minutes later...

@FrostyAustin: Sean "The Adonis" Marshall does it again. Someone get him a cigarette and an 85 lb. model to take back to the batting cage.

As you can see, "The Adonis", which is defined in Greek Mythology as a handsome youth loved by both Aphrodite and Persephone (in this case myself and Quade), has made coming in and closing the door on a prospective opponent's run look all too nonchalant. The 6'7'', 220 lb. southpaw consistently breaks loose from the restrictions of the pen and all of the mustache growing and insinuating scuttlebutt that goes on down there only to enter a baseball game set awry by the Cubs' fatigued starter.

Perhaps it's his 12-6 deuce, pinpoint slider or consistent fastball that I find to be therapeutic in watching Marshall pitch, but Sean has solidified himself as one of the most trusted names in royal-blue pinstripes.

In 2010, #45 pitched 74.2 innings as a back-end reliever and managed to rack up 90 K's compared to a meager 58 hits; all while holding his ERA below 2.65 and striking out 10.8 batters per 9. If not for Carlos Marmol's superhuman season in '10 in which it seemed like he was hurling frozen peas at hitters, Marshall's name would have drawn some serious recognition.

If you thought that was his year, wait until you hear what 2011 had in store for the city's favorite stoic strikeout artist. His alma mater, Virginia Commonwealth, reached the Final Four, and his career-long aspiration to become a starting pitcher might conceivably come true (that is, if it were up to me). Trust me, no pitcher wants to settle for being a 7th inning specialist. That's like majoring in Art History so you can give tours of the Kindergarten art classroom down the street from the Institute.

Prior to this post, I have expressed concern with the Cubs having a 5 man, all right-handed rotation. Then, when Randy Wells suffered an injury in the season's opening week, a rotation spot opened up. So what do the Cubs to? Start Casey Coleman, who went on to garner a 7.20 ERA after his first start. I'd rather have Derrick Coleman, Gary Coleman, or a Coleman cooler on the mound rather than this geek. What the Cubs don't realize is what they need is right in front of them.

It's like Omar Epps having to get down with Gabrielle Union (Shawnee Easton) and Tyra Banks (Kyra Kessler) in Love and Basketball before he realizes that he should be playing 1-on-1 with Sanaa Lathan to determine his matrimony.

The Cubs are in desperate need of a lefty starter and they're taking out a singles ad in the Trib that reads "Wanted: wholesome, smart woman" when they have a Natalie Portman-Anne Hathaway crossbreed in their culdesac. Sure, he's great in his current role, but you can't steal 2nd and keep your foot on 1st. "He is Marshall".

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man got the nod last night as the Cubs held on in Space City. For tonight, the Pulse Man likes the Mets over the Rockies in the Big Apple.

Pick of the Day: Rockies (Rogers) @ Mets (Niese)- METS (-109)

Record:(64-51-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

'Starting' Something

Same story, different day. I swear this sounds like a familiar plot-line. A corpulent, Hispanic starting pitcher takes the mound for the Cubs, gives up multiple moonshots in his 1st inning of work, calls out a corner infielder for making some negligible error, and a 'scuffle' breaks out in the Cubs dugout. Now I remember. That was the exact same situation that unfolded on June 25, 2010 (my 22nd birthday, mind you) with Carlos Zambrano and ex-Cub Derek Lee. This time, however, it was the Cubs' other volatile, right-handed butterball, Carlos Silva, that tried to go fist to cuffs down the dugout steps with Aramis Ramirez, or as I like to call him, "the Mexican Michael Wilbon". On both occasions, the Cubs pitchers have sounded off on their infield teammates for making errors while they're on the bump trying to fend off a forgettable inning. The fact of the matter is though, it's not the errors that set the inning awry; it was the sequence of lackluster fastballs and lifeless curves that you left up in the zone prior to the incident that resulted in a crooked number on the stadium scoreboard.

It has without a doubt been an inauspicious start to Spring Training for the Cubs defense (14 errors in 4 games). Literally, I wouldn't be surprised if Weird Al makes a long-awaited comeback to much fanfare in which he spoofs the 2011 Cubs with "Like an E-6", a play off the Far East Movement's signature track (actually not a bad video). But, where is the notion that they are all in this together? I thought pitchers, catchers, infielders and outfielders were all supposed to get along under Quade? He's such a calming presence. At least I figured with names like Ramirez, Zambrano, Soto, Silva and Castro in the lineup, they could all get along like an English Language Learners class at the Rolling Meadows Public Library. I guess not.

Although it is still a far cry from the regular season, this five-knuckle-shuffle in the Mesa, AZ dugout set off some warning signs. First, can't we just a keep a mini-fridge stocked with Modelo Man-Cans in the Cubs' clubhouse so Silva and Zambrano stay loose enough not to knock out one of the infield starters? Silva has already expressed dissatisfaction based on the fact that he hasn't already been named a part of the rotation after an All-Star caliber first half last season. Apparently, he forgot about joining enough chili-dog eating contests to send him into heart failure and only pitching 11 total innings in the second half (11.12 ERA). And finally, are we really going to start 5 right handed pitchers in the rotation? That's just asinine. Three words: We. Are. Marshall. And that has nothing to do with any Matthew McConaughey movies (that link is hilarious, I promise you).

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man got the win in SEC country last night as Vandy covered the 8 points allotted to them in Kentucky with a 2 point loss. For his next bet, after seeing the Wizards ghastly performance against the Bulls on Monday, the Pulse Man likes the Warriors in a pick em' contest in DC.

Pick of the Day: Warriors @ Wizards (pick em)- WARRIORS

Record:(59-43-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

Right-Hand Men

After the Bears' overachieving 2010-2011 season came to a disheartening end on Sunday afternoon and sparked the Twit-world into a frenzy, it is now time to refocus our frustration to Clark and Addison St. No, I don't mean go to Wrigleyville and drown your sorrows in $6 draft beers from Murphy's Bleachers, a place where I'm pretty sure I saw a kid without a middle school diploma sneak by the bouncer on one occasion. I mean Cubs baseball. As we sit through another February in the Windy City, scraping the windshields of our frozen mid-size sedans and wrapped up in scarves shielding the frigid air like we're Oliver Twist, Cubs baseball is on the minds of many. But in thinking about the Cubs comes the constant questioning of their motives in the front office. Already in 2011, the Cubs have signed Matt Garza, a promising, relatively young smoke-thrower from Tampa Bay, but then had to trade Tom Gorzelanny, an Evergreen Park, IL (Marist High School) native who actually did a decent job stopping the incessant bleeding during 4-6 game skids a year ago. So now the Cubs have a 5 man starting rotation that is without a southpaw (Zambrano, Wells, Garza, Silva, Dempster) in a division that is strung with mostly right-handed hitting dominance (Pujols, Braun, Holliday), but still boasts some left-handed power (primarily Votto and Fielder). All I'm saying is, eventually the Cubs will need someone who can deal from the first base side of the rubber. Now, whether or not that opportunity falls on the shoulders of my favorite Cub, Sean Marshall, or some shmohawk we pick up from a designated assignment with the Altoona Curve (a real AA affiliate of the Pirates) remains to be seen. In case your forgot about how we here at CSN feel about Sean Marshall, let me refresh your memory with this tidbit that was written in July of 2010.

"Sean Marshall- Sean Marshall may seem to possess a prudent, level-headed demeanor, but lets get real. Look Deeper. You KNOW at Virginia Commonwealth he was stumbling into his brown, 3 story 'should-be-condemned' off-campus house (equipped with wood siding and 5 burnout roommates) 2 hours before the first pitch of a Saturday double-header. This guy is no stranger to getting asked to leave John Barleycorn for falling ass backwards into the private party room, reeking like he's been drinking gasoline, asking some rich stockbroker if he can bum a Parliament Light while he ogles the broker's rail-thin girlfriend. Of course, he is also familiar with rolling over in his hotel room in a drunken stooper on a 12 game west coast road trip, and blowing his nose in a shitty, mesh batting practice hat because he is too hungover to gallop to the bathroom for some 5-star, quilted TP. He is also not a stranger to pouring a little Svedka in his Riptide Rush in the bullpen like a freshman coed at a homecoming football game. Some might think "Sean" is an Adonis. Not me, he's a one man party. He wears button down shirts with the top four buttons undone, and dark-washed jeans with vine-like embroidery on the back pockets. You heard it here first. Girls don't really care too much for him because after a few drinks, he starts acting like a frat boy at VCU's flag day parade in mid-July after taking down 12 cans of Natural ICE. Sorry, I got a little carried away with Sean. I feel he deserves it."

For what it's worth, I'm still optimistic for the 139th season of Chicago Cubs baseball. Maybe that's because they haven't even played in a Spring Training game yet, or maybe it's because it's 10:15 AM on a Tuesday and I'm writing blogs for free and desperately need something bigger than my body to consume my free-time. Either way, we got some oldies but goodies (Kerry Wood and Reed Johnson) back for a second go-round with the Northsiders this year and a few free agents (Pena and Garza) who are used to playing in a dome named after an Orange Juice manufacturer and a skipper with horned rimmed specs. It can only go up from here.

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man will take the Boilers tonight (+8) in Value City Arena against the #1 team in the land. Personally, I think U of I should have clipped the Buckeyes on Saturday, but it's not always Wine and Swiss in the Big 10, sometimes you have to gnaw on the bread and butter for a while to get your meal. Boiler UP Also, I just recently saw the UCONN/Marquette spread, which is set at MU (-4.5), and nearly caused me to scream an obscenity at my desktop comp. So, if you want to get paid, I advise you to bet on both games. If you want to get greedy, go ahead and parlay the two, I still like your odds.

Pick(s) of the Day: Purdue(+8)@ Ohio State- PURDUE
UCONN (+4.5)@ Marquette- UCONN

Record:(47-34-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

In Da Club wit Da Cubs

Since every day we move closer to October the Cubs lose relevance in the National League, we might as well use the Cubs roster for alternative purposes, like trying to figure out what they do on their days off. Judging by their record, lethargy, and overall incompetence, the Cubs must be out boozing in Chicago on a pretty regular basis. Therefore I have began to create a little compilation of what I think particular Cubs might drink when they go out. I am anticipating some reader feedback (still not sure if I have any readers), so lets go around the horn and buy a round for one of the worst teams in baseball:


Zambrano-By far the easiest. Drinks Sol, not by the glass bottle or the conventional 12 oz. can but rather by way of the 24 oz. industrial size can that you can only buy at Supermarcado. He sits in the players parking lot after games with a rosary around his neck blasting Pitbull and funneling Sol down his throat like he's at a high school post-prom party. Perhaps Zambrano has struggled this year and has blamed his entire life's problems on Derek Lee because he can't seem to get "one, two, three, four, uno, dos, tres, quatro....i know you wantme.." out of his head. Calle ocho to you Carlos, you earned it.


Derek Lee/Marlon Byrd- Essentially the same personality. Trendy black guys that like trendy black things and trendy black drinks. Chances are they both like Jay-Z, Chances are they both order shots of Patron or unnecessarily expensive vodka, Chances are they both suck to hang out with, Chances are one of them is traded by August 1st.


Ryan Theriot- My personal favorite. Probably drinks Bud heavy drafts because they're like $3.00 if the Cubs win. An American guy, supports domestics with the best of em. Chances are he's belly up at the bar listening unenthusiastically to Fontenot complain about his lack of AB's and his lack of decent facial hair. More importantly, Theriot is concerned about growing his soul patch and playing Radiohead on the jukebox while constantly trying to forget that he's on the Cubs.


Starlin Castro- Can he even drink?? Who knows. If so, rail tequila I assume. Probably explains his inconsistent and erratic play in the field.


Aramis Ramirez- A little classier than Zambrano, but his dismal season has forced him to hit the bottle harder and more often than ever. He presumably drinks that dreadful Mexican liqeuor where the lid is a shot glass. Disarrono, I think. He needs to be able to pour those shots fast. He's hitting .203, thats at least 3 K's leading to at least 3 shots a game.



Kosuke Fukudome- Tsingtao. Nuff said. Deja Blue in between drinks to stay hydrated.




Geovany Soto- First off, I'm trying to figure out if him and Carlos Quentin see the same barber, and if so, we should find the barber and send him back to 1992. Both of these idiots look like the 6th member of Menudo. Either way, I see Soto as thinking of himself as the "most interesting catcher in the world" and drinking Dos Equis by the 12 pack. Then, after finishing four of them, getting obnoxiously drunk because of his rapid weight loss, and hitting on a girl he thinks looks like J Lo, but in actuality looks like a Mexican version of the ratty girl from Hung.

Alfonso Soriano-Thought about this one for a while but think I solved the jigsaw that is Alfonso...Mojitos. I can see him just being a sucker for the entire process. Loves paying $12.00 for a drink (Hell, the guy makes more undeserved money than Spencer Pratt), loves being a nuisance to the bartender as mojitos are a great deal of work to make, and lastly, loves toting the line of homosexuality that comes with drinking a mojito. Remember, there has been speculation about Soriano being gay, and I am not combating those speculations.

Sean Marshall- Sean Marshall may seem to possess a prudent, level-headed demeanor, but lets get real. Look Deeper. You KNOW at Virginia Commonwealth he was stumbling into his brown, 3 story shitbox off-campus house (equipped with wood siding and 5 burnout roommates) 2 hours before the first pitch of a Saturday double-header. This guy is no stranger to getting asked to leave John Barleycorn for falling ass backwards into the private party room, reeking like he's been drinking gasoline, asking some rich stockbroker if he can bum a Parliament Light while he ogles the broker's rail-thin girlfriend. Of course, he is also familiar with rolling over in his hotel room in a drunken stooper on a 12 game west coast road trip, and blowing his nose in a shitty, mesh batting practice hat because he is too hungover to gallop to the bathroom for some 5-star, quilted TP. He is also not a stranger to pouring a little Svedka in his Riptide Rush in the bullpen like a freshman coed at a homecoming football game. Some might think "Sean" is an Adonis. Not me, he's a one man party. He wears button down shirts with the top four buttons undone , and dark-washed jeans with vine-like embroidery on the back pockets. You heard it here first. Girls don't really care too much for him because after a few drinks, he starts acting like a frat boy at VCU's flag day parade in mid-July after taking down 12 cans of Natural ICE. Sorry, got a little carried away with Sean. I feel he deserves it after being summoned to the pen while Tom Gorzelanny gets starts.

Carlos Silva-Castrol Syntec Motor Oil

That's all I got, leave comments or something if you have modifications or suggestions about other players.

I will start to leave a daily line betting pick of the day and (or week) whatever and a little rationale behind it. Yes, I will be keeping my own record. Tonight is the all-star game hosted by the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim located in the San Bernadino Valley or whomever the refer to themselves as. I like the National League on the money line, look at their pitching staff, are you kidding.

Pick: National League (+107) Moneyline. Record (0-0-0)