Marmol-ade

As the always intelligible Lil' Kim stated in her verse for the smash hit, 'Lady Marmalade', "hey sistas, soul sistas, bettah get dat dough, sista!" And that's exactly what Carlos Marmol did. The Cubs and their closer completed a deal Monday morning that will keep Marmol a member of the Cubs for the next 3 seasons at a reported price of $19 million altogether. Fine by me. After setting the K/9 record (nothing to do with dogs) at 16 per, making the All-Star team and plunking more batsmen than a disgruntled teen in Triple Play '99, it's the least we could do for the guy. A 3 year deal is perfect for Marmol, and the price, to me is irrelevant. Someone would have paid him if we didn't, so why not pony-up and cut the check for a man whose right arm is seemingly made out of the same rubbery material as Mick Jagger's entire lower body?

Why is 3 years perfect instead of a 6 or 7 year 'hockey deal' you might ask? Because the shelf life of a closer, especially in the National League, is roughly around 3 years. Give or take a few. These aren't air-tight bags of rice or cans of tuna in your maple cupboard, these are human beings who have to deal with the emotional and physical stress of only appearing when they are susceptible to screwing up. Remember what happened to Eric Gagne? In a few years, Brian Wilson's beard will be the same as Robbie Hummel's sideburns--non-existent and completely irrelevant. That's just the nature of the beast with these guys.

The back-end of the Cubs bullpen looks good to me though, and I mean that in the most non-sexual way possible. If Kerry Wood can be a consistent set-up man from the right side and my main man Sean Marshall can deal from the left, the Cubs seem to have a nice path to get to our 28 year old, Dominican closer with Reggie Miller's ears in the 9th inning. Building a lead? Now that might be a problem.

The year Marmol put together in 2010 was truly something spectacular. As I mentioned earlier, he broke some records, buckled some knees and held opponents to a .154 clip against him. Granted, he's going to issue 3 consecutive free passes on occasion and cause every octogenarian Cub fan to fall into cardiac arrest. But most of the time, he finds his way out of it in the most exhilarating fashion possible (3 straight K's). Whether it be with his frisbee slider or with his tailing fastball, Carlos makes professional hitters look those poor 11 year old kids who had to spend the summer of 2001 trying to touch a fastball from a kid 5 years their senior (Danny Almonte). I'm glad he's locked up. Marmol, not Almonte.

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man took the OVER in the Cavs/Clips tilt on Friday night and they covered by almost 40 points. What a game it was. For tonight, the Pulse Man likes Kansas St. getting 6 points at home in the Little Apple against in-state rival Kansas. If nothing else, Frank Martin's neck veins should be fun to watch.

Pick of the day: Kansas @ Kansas St. (+6)- KANSAS ST.

Record:(53-39-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

Balk This Way

Down the left field line at Clark and Addison is where an eclectic collection of questionable souls, otherwise known as the Cubs pitchers congregate. Whether they have their mouths so full of Skoal Citrus that they cannot speak, or they are talking about Bob Howry's lycanthropology (the study of werewolves as humanity in a cultural context)degree from McNeese State University, they are truly a dubious group. This post addresses what you might find in these certain players ipods, disc-men or in Tom Gorzelanny's case,his Zune 30 gig Digital Media Player.

Tom Gorzelanny - Isn't really in the bullpen consistently but definitely deserves to be.When he isn't swinging through the Wendy's drive through to grab a #6 (w/ no tomato and a side of ranch), or perusing the local GameStop for the latest shoot-em-up game for his X-Box 360, Tom Gorezelanny can be seen cruising in his Honda Pilot to the likes of Nickelback. Usually Gorezelanny is too preoccupied frantically flipping through a Shenmue players guide or watching the timer on the microwave wind down for his Totino pizza rolls to even notice Nickelback sucks. It seems like just yesterday Chicago native Tom's mom brought him to his first concert- The Smashing Pumpkins at All-State Arena, then the Rosemont Horizon. But since then, his musical affinity has hardly grown by leaps and bounds- with bands like Buckcherry and Daughtry boasting multiples titles in his trendy IKEA CD storage unit. It seems as though Gorzelanny's favorite bands are on par with his pitching: forgettable and ultimately below average.

Ryan Dempster - This zany wildman's musical taste is eclectic, exactly what you'd predict. Dempster has been known to compile some liberal playlists during his luau-type roofdeck parties (equipped with freshly, wood-stained privacy fence), as he keeps the margaritas flowing faster than Rusted Root's singer could say "Send me on my way." Much to the chagrin of his Hispanic teammates and players like Jeff Baker who are always trying to get some shut-eye (and dream they are different ballplayers), folky jam bands like John Butler Trio, G Love, and Virginia Coalition can be heard emanating from his iPod headphones on team flights. And being the proud canuck that he is, The Tragically Hip and Crash Test Dummies tunes have also made themselves comfortable on Dempster's Top 25 Most Played iTunes Smart playlist.Yet another case of a Cubs pitcher's musical taste paralleling his pitching performance. Dempster is about as sporadic as it gets, in both categories.

Carlos Marmol -"Los Fabulosos Cadillacs." Watch the video and there will be no need for an explanation.

Bob Howry - Listening to anything out of Bob Howry's music collection will likely make you want to throw yourself in front of a fast-moving Ford Bronco. When Bob Howry isn't ripping phone books in half or dead-lifting refrigerators at Sears for fun, he is usually busy disappointing the Cubbie faithful by throwing 94 MPH fast balls down the middle every time to the NL's premiere hitters. However, when he isn't doing any of those things, he is listening to music that most likely sounds like live recordings of exorcisms. While Howry beats his chest to thrash metal bands like Pantera and Slayer, Samardzija is finishing his take-out lunch Panera meal and listening to John Mayer. Before games, Howry most likely has bench coach Alan Trammel club him over the head repeatedly with a Cubs Louisville Slugger souvenir baseball bat while he rocks out the latest death metal. To finish off this pre-game ritual, Howry probably slams a Monster energy drink, screams his ABC's, and has Soto peg him in the sternum with mid 80's snap throw- all to get 'warmed up.'

As for pick of the day, I'm struggling to survive like sanity in the mind of Mel GIbson. I'm sitting at (1-3-0) and am desperate for a winner. Today,I'll take dice-K and the BoSox on the moneyline over the A's and Ben Sheets at (+106). The Red Sox have been struggling lately but hopefully tonight they can right the ship out west. However, this game will undoubtedly last until 1 AM so I won't be awake when the result comes in, hopefully I can suck it up and manage to not wet the bed.

Daily Pick: Red Sox @ A's, REDSOX moneyline (+106)
Record: (1-3-0)

Closing Time

In the wake of two blown saves in the city of big shoulders this weekend, Cubs and Sox fans alike are pondering the age old question: Am I comfortable with a lead when our closer comes in? Carlos Marmol and Bobby Jenks are two prime examples of guys whose effectiveness fluctuates significantly depending on the outing (For Jenks, it used to depend on how much Evan Williams whiskey he sucked down in the bullpen during the first 8 innings).

As the Semisonic lyrics read, "Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end" and since losing 3 consecutive games to division rival Minnesota is a new revelation for the formerly red-hot White Sox, we are wondering if this is the beginning of the end. On Sunday, Jenks' pitching looked almost as miserable as his cat-whisker facial hair as he managed to come into the game, blow the lead, get pulled, and finally, sulk in the dugout all without managing to record a single out. For the White Sox, whenever they seem to be playing well, it is because Jenks has been pitching well. In their World Championship year of 2005, Jenks burst onto the scene as the Sox morbidly obese and horrifically unattractive, yet reliable closer. Jenks also passes the test on the 3 cardinal rules of being an MLB closer 1.) Coming out to a generic ACDC/Metallica song. 2.) Having below average facial hair 3.) Least important of course: be able to record outs when you have a small lead in the late innings. Jenks, however is a pretty volatile character. When he's good, he's highly effective. When he's bad, he is damn near abominable (ex:Sunday afternoon). As well as the Sox have played as of late, this weekend made the collective Sox nation wonder if they are really comfortable with a sober Bobby Jenks coming out of the bullpen in the 9th. I mean, come on, Bobby Jenks and sobriety go together about as well as milk and pad thai. Ever since the beginning of the season, it has been reported that Jenks is "on the wagon" and is practicing some form of alcohol abstinence. Yes, the same guy who never pitched a single inning in high school due to alcohol and cocaine abuse. This must make you wonder, how is he dealing with the constant stress of being a closer? It is in the closer's job description to be edgy and bizarre enough to deal with the rigors of pitching nearly every day for only a single inning. I always envisioned Jenks after a loss gulping bourbon until he falls ass-backwards into his own locker, or binging on Robitussin until he regurgitates on the team charter. Either way, thinking about what he may do after Sunday nights loss just makes me feel downright vexatious. Chances are, he is probably going crazy enough to drive his rental Nissan Sentra to Detroit and commit a homicide with Jose Valverde (dude is crazy).

On the other side of town, Carlos Marmol has become the ultimate "hold your breath" guy in baseball because of his uncanny ability to walk the bases loaded and either A.) strike out the side with a dominating and overpowering assortment of fastballs and breaking pitches, or B.) give up 4,342 consecutive "seeing-eye-singles" until he has blown the Cubs lead (Cubs leading is a very rare occurrence itself) into smithereens. I haven't seen a pitcher in the bigs today with stuff as electric as Marmol's (led the league last year in K's per 9). But, his tendency to issue BoB's like a garage band hippie handing out promo fliers for their first "live gig" can be detrimental to the stress level of Cub fans. On Saturday when Marmol blew the save, you had the feeling the Cubs were just waiting to self-destruct. Seriously, the Cubs haven't won a game 1-0 since the Reagan administration. Truth is, Marmol still is very young and control problems are probably a better problem than Tommy John surgery or contracting a bad case of Dengue Fever.

Still, these are the closers that Chicago has moving forward. So, hopefully Jenks and Marmol can start to close games and get the fans to "gather up your jackets and move into the exits" Semisonic. Eventually, in Carlos and Bobby "I hope you have found a friend" Semisonic.

Also, I didn't realize that the day I bet against the Yankees was going to be the day they honored George Steinbrenner at Yankee Stadium. As a result, I lost the bet and am now fighting to get back to .500. Today's bet was recommended by my main man, Pulse-- a small amount betting extraordinaire. So, the bet of the day is on the Cub game because they are on Sunday Night Baseball. The line for both teams' combined runs, hits and errors is 24 1/2. With Roy Halladay on the mound, we're taking the under. The line on the amount of times Soriano spits is at 43,654,342...I'm gonna take the over.

Daily Bet: Phillies @ Cubs combined runs, hits and errors- 24 1/2 -UNDER
Record- (1-2-0)