Fun in the Dunn

One Year--365 days, a handful of full-moons, one day in which you receive an abundance of Facebook congratulations from people whom you no longer associate with, and a world of difference. Think about it, a year ago today we had previously thought that John Travolta only couldn't keep his hands to himself around Olivia Newton John, Cee-Lo Green was Gnarls Barkley, and for all we knew, YOLO was the Yugoslavian-Ottoman Liberty Organization from the Cold War Era.

Things change. Similarly, the expectations for this year's Chicago White Sox were much lower for this year's campaign than they were the year before, and with good reason. Adam Dunn was coming off his worst year as a professional, Alex Rios was barely functional--at bat or in the field--and the Sox consequently hit .252 as a team. This year, however, Sox fans were leery of the Tigers who went out and signed Prince Fielder to add to an already dangerous lineup and a pitching staff that has perhaps the single most dominant pitcher in baseball, Justin Verlander. Not to mention, after a year that featured more Spanish obscenities than a back kitchen at Rosati's pizza, the Sox finally let go of Ozzie Guillen, who then proceeded to demonstrate his unyielding support for one of the most brash and irrational creatures in the modern world. Makes sense.

Instead, they hired Robin Ventura, who can be seen as responsible for the lower expectations for the Men in Black headed into 2012. He was a first-time manager with no in-game experience, but Kenny and Jerry trusted that Rockin' Robin knew baseball; specifically, how it is meant to be played on 35th and Shields.

The Sox impressive first half and consequent division lead has been catalyzed by a variety of hosts--youthful energy from utility men (De Aza and Viciedo), a remarkable young left-hander (Sale), a stellar resurgence from a veteran who was seemingly out of his prime (Peavy), and a couple of household-named mainstays returning to the form they once had in the limelight of their careers (Konerko and Pierzynski). Although all of the contributions of the aforementioned players have been profoundly important in garnering the frist-half AL Central division crown, none of them have been as impressive as what I like to refer to as "The Renaissance of the Donkey". No, it is not a facet of the Chinese Zodiac Calendar, but rather the reawakening of Adam Dunn.

Adam Dunn has proven over the course of time to have one of the most unique skill sets in Major League Baseball; a heftily built outfielder/DH who can miss a pitch by 4 feet and then proceed to hit the following pitch 400 feet into the right field mezzanine. He leads American League hitters in strikeouts by an astounding 24 K's over Carlos Pena. However, he also sits in the top 5 in Walks (1st), Home Runs (3rd), and RBI's (5th). It's hard to imagine that array of statistics to be done in any other sport. That's like Durant winning the scoring title along with the rebounding crown, getting to the charity stripe more so than anyone else in the league, but simultaneously leading the league in turnovers. In my eyes, that's harder to imagine than why Kate left Tom. You know, besides the whole 5'2'' inch Scientologist that is 12 years her senior idea.

What is most impressive about Dunn's resurgence, though, is how he has done so in the face of a full-year of media scrutiny. Truth be told, Dunn was torn apart last year from Comcast Sports Net to The Score, and with good reason. He hit .159 with 11 homers in 2011. Still 159 points higher and 11 more homers than Jordan "JYD" Brodbeck hit in his Junior campaign for the Lake Zurich Bears, but nonetheless career worsts for the Donkey.

Chicago--much like New York, Boston, and Philadelphia--has the unique ability to ruin careers with the suffocation that their fans can allocate on the players who perform in their city. So, what perhaps is most impressive about Dunn is his ability to rise from rags to riches and return to All-Star form like Tony Danza in the Garbage-Picking, Field Goal-Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon.

In similar fashion, the Sox have revitalized Kevin Youkilis' season and he is proving his mettle in the Sox lineup and producing timely hits and RBI's to an already solid rotation of run producers. Say what you want about Kenny Williams, but anytime you can get what Jonah Hill referred to as "The Greek God of Walks" in Moneyball who looks like he's fresh off the set of American Chopper all in exchange for Zach Stewart, Brett Lillibridge, and Brett Lillibridge's ears, you are doing something right.

Therefore, in adulation and admiration for the so-far, so-good 2012 White Sox, here's a toast to you. Your season has already produced an unrivaled amount of excitement from Hawk Harrelson as he inches towards becoming an octogenarian, but perhaps this season we can even hope for some from Ed Farmer as well. May Konerko and Dunn continue to inspire as the rest of us perspire in this wet, hot, American Summer in the City of Broad Shoulders.

As for Pick of the Day, the Pulse Man is thrilled to be back on duty betting with his heart as he feels the American League will take the Mid-Summer Classic tonight in Kansas City. Addionally, he likes Cutis Granderson to amass more hits and runs than Dan Uggla, who is the All-Star Game's resident goat after his 3 error performance some years back. People don't forget, Dan.

Pick of the Day: American League vs. National League-- AMERICAN (-143)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

Diamond Rios

I'm not sure whether Alex Rios misunderstood the question, or just gave a misguided response because he doesn't know any better, but calling the White Sox the "team to beat in the AL Central" already just simply isn't the case. Historically, the 'team to beat' in the division or league is the team that won it last. At least that's how I've always interpreted it. Such a novel concept, I know. But the consummate 5-tool player from Coffee, Alabama popped off during a meaningless spring training interview and made headlines by belittling the Twins in crowning his own South Side club as the division favorites in 2011. I agree, Spring Training is worthless. It's like syllabus week in the Fall semester of college--just a reason to kick it with your buddies and have a few pops while reminiscing about all of the smokeshows you met at North Beach over the summer that slept over in your parent's basement a few nights (some of the best fabricated stories ever told). It's all peaches until someone lashes out with a story completely over the top, entirely outside of the realm of legitimate possibility, gets called out on it, and then everyone is awkward around said storyteller until he has enough G&T's to fess up and admit he was up to his neck in BS a week or so later. In a way, that's exactly what happened in the case of Diamond Rios.

In case you couldn't tell, Ozzie has the utmost respect for the Twins, and why wouldn't he? They continue to compete at the top of the division every year with in-house talent. Even now that their payroll has expanded dramatically with the signing of Mauer's monster deal, the Twins lived up to the bill (no pun intended) and have won the last 2 division titles. Although you can barely call Ozzie's speech in interviews coherent or entirely lucid, when speaking of the Twins, he usually provides no comments that undermine his rival to the north. In the same breath, however, Ozzie is never going to let his players feel like he doesn't have supreme confidence in them heading into the year, so he made a few comments to Chicago media outlets that reiterated the fact that he definitely thinks the Sox can, in fact win the division, but in no way called them the 'team to beat' just yet.

According to the oddsmakers on the strip, the odds of the Sox winning the Fall Classic are listed at 25-1, which gives them bragging rights in the city (Cubs are 35-1) but not within the Central (Twins are 18-1). With that being said, the AL Central is going to be one of the worst divisions in baseball in 2011. Outside of Minnesota and Chicago, you have the Indians (80-1), who will seemingly follow the same pathetic standard that the Cavs have preceded them with this season in Cleveland, and the Tigers, with Miggy Cabrera as their team leader, a volatile character who is one more DUI or domestic violence dispute away from having an equivalent rap sheet to their city's hero, Slim Shady. (On a side note, that loser is 40 years old. You'd think he would have gotten over thinking cursing incessantly, bleaching your hair and subjecting your child to a horrific childhood would be cool and great fodder for selling records. Sick commercial though, loser.) And lastly you have the Kansas City Royals (125-1), a franchise that can only get people in Kauffman Stadium if they let all the 11-year old die-hards play in the fountains in the outfield during the 7th inning stretch. I think the Sox are safe with at least a 2nd place finish.

Still, I'm intrigued by the Sox off-season and am looking forward to watching their games on a muted television in late spring (Hawk Harrelson is a bumbling idiot). This is Gordon Beckham's coming out party in which he has the chance to prove he's more than just a pretty face with a haircut he stole off Alex Binder from Two-A-Days. Insert Donkey Dunn into the middle of that lineup to protect Paulie and Rios and you have some power from both sides of the dish. I'd be lying if I was to say that the Men in Black didn't have the potential in place to win the division. Nevertheless, it's imperative that the Sox get off to a hot start to jump out to an early lead in the division while Morneau is on the mend in Minneapolis. Otherwise, calling them the team to beat this early in the spring is comparable to some jive talk you'd read on Oney Guillen's twitter page.

As for Pick of the Day, the WMU Broncos couldn't pull out a win in Kalamazoo last night as they dropped one to the Kent St. Golden Flashes by a bucket. For tonight, the Pulse Man likes Bradley covering the +3.5 spread they are getting at ISU. Both teams are bad, the game should prove to be even worse.

Pick of the Day: Bradley (+3.5) @ Illinois St.- BRADLEY

Record:(56-41-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

Slow-Play

As baseball's winter meetings continue, and high school semester progress reports continue to be inflicted upon America's youth, the South Siders have already made a splash in the American League. Kenny Williams and Ozzie Guillen, who the media portray as having the same relationship as Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon in Grumpy Old Men, are seemingly on the same wavelength as the Sox have extended contracts to both free-agent Adam Dunn, and team captain, Paul Konerko. Most skeptics are wondering, aren't they both first baseman? Well, yes. But Dunn can play the outfield...sort of. Aren't they both aging power hitters? Yes, but Konerko is coming off an MVP-like season, and although he is not getting any younger, he remains to be productive. And for Dunn, the only player in the league that has hit more home runs collectively in the past 5 seasons is going to be enshrined into Cooperstown as one of the best first baseman ever when he's through playing, so there. And lastly, aren't Dunn and Konerko arguably the two slowest guys in the league? Yes, you're absolutely right. Honestly, I could go into the Buehler YMCA steam room and find two old, half-naked geezers that can beat those two pro athletes in a foot race. But, nobody times you running around the bases after you yank a 2-1 fastball 420 ft. to left-center field. So, although the Sox will conceivably have to string together 3 consecutive hits to score a run in the middle of their lineup at times, these two sluggers will ultimately be worth the dough. I mean, they did the same thing with Thome, and everyone complained when he left. So be careful what you wish for Sox fans, the piano-backed first baseman platoon is back in full effect.

As for Donkey Dunn, there isn't a pro athlete more excited to be affiliated with a winning franchise than this guy. I seriously wonder what this 6'6'', 275 lb. whale's career record is. He first played for the Reds, where he lost at least 100 games a season and got so fed up with it, that he started striking out on purpose in order to end each game faster. Thus, setting the single season K record in 2001. Then, Dunn was traded to the Arizona Diamondbacks for a right-handed pitcher/bullfighter named Dallas Buck, and two other prospects. While in AZ, he went on to have the lowest fielding percentage in the majors amongst left-fielders, which is an incredible feat considering some of the bumbling idiots that teams throw in left field on occasion. Recently, Dunn has been locked in baseball's basement in Washington D.C. with the Washington Nationals. When the most exciting day of your franchise's season comes on the morning of the amateur draft, something is going horribly wrong. And for Dunn, he left D.C faster than a bored 9-year old getting a tour of the Pentagon on a middle school field trip. Now blessed with a 4-year, $56 million contract with the Sox, Dunn can concentrate on what he does best--running up $15.00 tabs at Portillos and hitting bombs into the US Cellular Field stadium concourse 35 times a year. The best is yet to come Adam, have you ever had a cake shake? Trust me, I think you'd like it.

For Paul Konerko, the Sox virtually owed it to the guy to overpay his talents. Konerko has been nothing short of a Derek Jeter-like captain figure for the Chi Sox over his 11 year career there. While rumors swirled about whether Paulie was going to ditch 35th and Shields to catch rays in Arizona for his hometown team, the media was pessimistic that the higher-ups in the Sox organization would be able to sign the team's first baseman. Although Konerko turns 35 in March, the Sox recognized the All-Star season that he put together in 2010 and strapped him with a 3-year, $37.5 million deal that should see him to the end of his professional career. Paul Konerko's signing today makes Sox fans pleased that their slow-footed slugger can now chase down (no pun intended) Frank Thomas' 448 homers for the franchise lead in a White Sox uniform. And, most importantly, Paul's still "got a little Captain in him"--something that the White Sox would have had difficulty replacing.

As for Pick of the Day, after being in attendance for his betting victory Monday night, the Pulse Man likes BJ3 and the Milwaukee Bucks giving 1.5 to the Caucasian-laden Indiana Pacers squad in the Bradley Center for Tonight. Fear the Deer.

Pick of the Day: Inidana @ Milwaukee (-1.5)- BUCKS

Record:(37-25-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me