First off, let me start off by informing you guys that I really didn't want to write about the Cubs today. Nobody wants to hear about them being 20 some odd games under .500 and picking up a meaningless road win against the lowly Nationals and Donkey Dunn last night--I completely agree. But, with the blog previews of college and professional football looming on the horizon for later this week, I figured it was probably the last time I would write about the Cubs for at least a week or so. I won't bore you with the intricacies of comparing the distance of John Daly's 9 iron with the hardest hit ball of Darwin Barney's life, or discussing who if Mike Quade is now officially a more famous Prospect High School alumni than Lee DeWyze, rather I will be discussing the moronic undertones involved in Sammy Sosa's comments directed towards the Cubs in Chicago magazine recently. If you are unaware of what he said, please read the paragraphs below and keep in mind that Sosa had the most serious of intentions when quoted for this article. Because of Sammy Sosa's deep thinking mentality,(remember, he corked a bat for batting practice and "mistakenly" used it during the real game) I have chosen to dissect Sammy's monologue piece by piece. I think we all get a better understanding of his rationale that way, which may or may not be more sideways than the post motorcycle accident thinking of actor Gary Busey. Don't forget, he was once a cub himself.
"My numbers should be untouchable because of the things that I did for that organization, that right there shows me that they don't care about me and they don't want to have a good relationship with me." Slammin Sammy
It is important to realize that all of these quotes were spoken in the Sammy Sosa spanglish (not the Adam Sandler movie) accent that is about as comprehensible as directions from a gas station attendant at a highway Citgo. As for the content, what numbers are you talking about Sammy? Oh yea, the numbers you achieved when you were funneling human growth hormone pills down your throat faster than Adam Richman takes down a pastrami sandwich? Why would we care about your tainted numbers that you achieved through cheating? Should we acknowledge a 12 year old's accomplishment when he cheats at scrabble and assembles "sup" as a credible word? No, we don't. I'm not sure what you were taught in the DR with all the birth certificate forging (one of the top 10 sports interviews of all time) and mass consumption of animal tranquilizers that goes on over there, but when you cheat in professional sports, nobody acknowledges "your numbers". And we should be taking care of you because of the "things you did for the organization"? Things like thrusting the Cubs into the steroids spotlight of the MLB in the mid to late 90's and embarrassing yourself and the Cubs by being a grown man who couldn't withhold from the temptation of cheating like some unprepared sophomore on a high school economics test? Nobody wants a relationship with you Sosa, not the cubs, not even any female after the skin pigment disease you just encountered that can probably be attributed to injecting needles into your rear end incessantly in 1997. Just do us all a favor and disappear. (didn't have the heart to insert a Ken Caminiti joke here because even dead or alive, that man still scares me)
"My numbers don't lie. Everything I did was so big--my career was so good--that even if people want to scratch it from the board, it's not going to happen. Those numbers are going to stay there forever."
Once again in this excerpt, Sammy refers to his beloved "numbers" as his calling card for why he should be more respected around baseball. He even exclaims that his "numbers don't lie" when in actuality, his numbers do nothing except lie. How are those numbers in good faith when we never really know if he used a corked bat, or if his testicles were the size of Sun-Maid Raisins after all of the steroids his body endured. And to say his career was SO good is another thing that should be called into question. In order for a player to have the right to refer to their career in that light, they better be a first ballot hall-of-famer or have the same egocentric complex that Rickey Henderson possessed (note: Rickey Henderson was also a first ballot hall-of-famer). But, Sosa will not be that guy. He will be remembered as a player whose team never was in contention and who did nothing but botch outfield assists like a left fielder in a Pony League game (the kid that picks his nose and has no motor skills always plays RF at that age--just like Sammy), be a perpetual strikeout victim, and hit a tainted home run in every 5th at bat when the Cubs were already down 6-2 in the late innings. Maybe his numbers will stay there forever, who knows? Who cares? They were all a lie, his transformation from a base stealing outfielder with the Sox, to some roided out freak with the Orioles, to a now colorless ghost was all a lie. Sorry to say it so shamelessly Sammy but sometimes steroids suck (how's that for alliteration?).
One thing Sosa should be commended for was that he was the guy who put fans in the bleachers for the Cubs during an abysmal stretch of seasons in the 90's. He sold tickets, merchandise, and all sorts of memorabilia throughout his career. But the bottom line is, he did it all the wrong way. Maybe St. Louis reached out to Mark McGwire because he acknowledged his wrongdoings and admitted his guilt modestly like a professional without venting to some magazine profile reporter like some forgotten son. Once again, you could hit the ball a long way Sammy, but your career and future aspirations remained short sighted.
I promise this is the last Cubs blog you will see for quite some time. In fact, you will see some college and pro football previews in the upcoming days as I alluded to earlier and will also be writing a review and of the 30 for 30: Jordan Rides the Bus that airs tonight at 8. If you want to throw out some suggestions for the college or pro football previews or share musings on any topic, please write to chicagosportsnoise@gmail.com , I haven't received a legitimate email yet, so I foresee that being a rewarding feeling.
As for pick of the day, the Pulse Man for some reason believed in Matt Leinart and the Cards Monday night in the QB rematch of the epic Texas/USC National Championship game in 2006, and it came back to bite him. Desperate for a win and some self respect, he has chosen former Cub Theodore Roosevelt Lilly to dismantle Dave Bush and the Brewers at (-120). The Brewers are a better team at home, but Dave Bush couldn't win a game a game of mancala, let alone a professional baseball game.
Pick of the Day: Dodgers @ Brewers- DODGERS (-120)
Record:(11-11-0)
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