At the age of 48, most once-upon-a-time professional athletes are either spending their time investing in some dead-end car agency like everyone's favorite Phillie Lenny Dykstra, or are unable to walk around the block due to a plethora of arthroscopic surgeries on their knees. I am glad to say that approaching his fifth decade of existence, Chris Chelios will be plagued by neither. Chelios decided today that sacrificing his dignity to skate around Allstate Arena on 15-day contracts with the Chicago Wolves trying to get Skates' autograph for his kids just wasn't worth it anymore. Hailing from Evergreen Park (shout out to A-Ball), Chelios grew up a Blackhawks fan and fulfilled his childhood dream when he laced up his CCM's for the Hawks from 1990-1999 (the golden years of Blackhawk hockey before the Kane/Toews era) before he jumped ship to skate for the rival Red Wings while winning 2 Stanley Cups in the process.
Say what you want negatively about Chelios--he played for Wisconsin in college, he's a traitor because he joined the Red Wings after playing a decade for the hawks, he owned an absolutely below average chili restaurant near the United Center while he played in Chicago. With the loss of Chelios, the NHL is now deprived of one of its greatest captains, most fearless competitors, and of course, the active leader in both games played and penalty minutes. Barring a late season IHL attempt of Cheli trying to take off his skate and stabbing people, he was the 'tough guy' NHL hockey player that Happy Gilmore aspired to be. He epitomized the mettle of a hockey player through an array of broken noses and lost teeth over the course of a 1,496 game career. People often times say that hockey players endure longer careers because of their abbreviated shifts on the ice, or the fact that skating is easier on the joints than most sports. I happen to believe that hockey players don't endure longer careers than most other athletes, they withstand their injuries, play through the pain and tough it out for their teammates, their franchise, and most of all, for the game. In most cases, hockey players are candidly put--tougher than everyone else, and Chris Chelios was one of the toughest in the game.
So as retirement is Chris Chelios' next endeavor and excessive amounts of golf and extended periods of time hogging the family room television will shortly ensue, Cheli can sit back and enjoy his 34'' LCD TV permanently tuned into NHLTV on his calfskin leather couch with a built in chili holder not far from the reach of his right hand. Perhaps with retirement, Cheli will be spending more time with his neighborhood cronies--the Malibu Mob. I'm guessing that these block parties usually consist of fart jokes with Ed O'Neill, mercilessly making fun of Tony Danza, and having enough Michelob Ultras to either hit on Justin Long's supermodel girlfriend, or sing 'Bawitdaba' karaoke with Kid Rock. Whatever he does, I hope he's carefree. Hell, he's earned it. Plus, the less time he spends training Red Wing defenseman-- the better.
As for pick of the day, the Pulse Man once again has been putting together a modest 3 bet winning streak. He will also be featured on the ChicagoSportsNoise inaugural podcast Friday when we are trying to kill time on the long drive to Iowa City to watch his beloved Eastern Illinois Panthers and their idolized head coach Bob Spoo take on the hard-hitting Iowa Hawkeyes. For tomorrow, he likes the Red Sox and Reds to both win in a parlay for (+160). Pretty ballsy move for the Pulse.
Pick: parlay, Red Sox and Reds (+160)
Record:(14-11-0)
1st Manny being Manny moment: conducting a press conference in Spanish when he is clearly fluent in English and was born in Brooklyn. Purposely just a waste of Joey Cora's time, which was hysterical. 1-0 Manny.
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