A 'Star' is Born

Normally, when a 21 year-old stencils his name in urine on his neighbor's vinyl siding and is cited by the local police, people write it off as kids being "too young to know any better." Similarly, when you've recently turned 21, classifying you as the youngest player in the Majors and you're hitting .418 through the season's first three weeks, I guess you're also "too young to know any better."

As much as the Cubs' starting pitching this season has been as infuriating as an octogenarian breaking your cruise control on the Kennedy, Castro has been absolutely incredible. In the Cubs' recent trip to Colorado, a state conducive to hitting and "coexisting", Castro flourished by amassing 7 hits in the series' final two games.

In fact, the fresh-faced infielder who was born in 1990 already has six 3-hit games on the young season. In case you're not a Cubs historian, that's the most in the first fifteen games of the year since Clarence Birdseye's advent of a process for frozen food in 1925. That's right, the last time someone was making as much music as Castro in the batters box through the first three weeks, George Gershwin was writing 'Rhapsody in Blue'.

Ever since Quade inserted the north side's newest 'Star' into the lead-off spot, he has accepted the invitation graciously by going 18-32 with 8 runs, 2 doubles and 2 triples. I could sit here and spew stats at you until you're Cubbie blue in the face, but that is besides the point. The fact of the matter is, #13 is the April MVP of the National League (like anybody cares). Even more impressively, Castro has a knack for providing clutch hits and seeing-eye singles in pivotal moments of the game. It's not like Sammy Sosa cranking moonshots when the Cubs are either up by a touchdown or down by a decade on the stadium scoreboard. As of this season, he has been impervious to pressure and it has rewarded him by placing his name amongst the top 5 in the NL in runs.

The fact that he was barely recognizable in Wrigleyville last season is now a thing of the past. Now, Starlin is going to have to fend off more hangers-on with his boyish jive-talk than Tahj Mowry after Smart Guy blew up.

By no means am I predicting that Castro will continue his dominance into a .400 season or an MVP campaign, but when the player on your team with boatloads of potential is making the most out of his opportunities, it is refreshing. And for a Cub fan, it's unusual.

As for Pick of the Day, The Pulse Man likes the Pacers and the near dozen-point cushion they are being allotted in the Madhouse. By no means are either of us rooting for Psycho T, but a cover wouldn't be the end of the world.

Pick of the Day: Pacers (+11) @ Bulls- PACERS

Record:(64-52-0)

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

Eating Is Cheating

As a Cub fan, there isn't much to be hopeful for after watching the North Siders drop their season opener, their home opener, and their opening series of the season all to the lowly Pittsburgh Pirates.

If you're anything like me, you were watching the Cubs and pondering a few critical questions that arose in your mind. For instance, what nationality is Darwin Barney? Is he the kind of guy who fills in the Asian/Pacific Islander bubble during standardized testing questionnaires? I couldn't even make a guess as to what is actual ethnicity is, but regardless, the question remains, why the hell is he in the game?

After I got over this brief episode of Barney Darwinism, not to be confused with the laissez-faire capitalism movement that helped spawn Social Darwinism, I came to the conclusion that the Cubs and Sox have a plethora of toothpick-framed youngsters filling out their lineup cards.

Since my optimism level with the 2011 Cubs is already pretty low, I figured it might be necessary to draw on the humor card early on to help keep Cub nation's collective sanity in check. So, this is me channeling my inner Bon Iver (shout out Matt DeMars) and giving some "Skinny Love" where credit is due.

Darwin Barney- 5'10'', 179 lbs. I know 2nd baseman aren't typically built like The Big Show, but our little purple dinosaur manning the right side of our double-play combo is small even amongst the fraternity of National League 2nd baseman.

Granted, he's 5 foot 10, Asian (I think), and rocks meticulously tousled hair underneath his lid, so you have to give him the nod as the league's most unassuming Major Leaguer. Still, if he continues to get starts for the Cubs and goes on to never reach the outfield with a batted baseball until mid-July, we'll all know why.

Starlin Castro- 6'1'', 187 lbs. Honestly, I think 187 is a stretch for Starlin, who on opening day was dubbed as the youngest player in the bigs. He recently turned 21, so he'll be looking to add some beer weight and play 3rd base on a park district softball league team in no time.

All joking aside though, the Cubs are going to rely on their Castro more so than Cuba does theirs, because as the lead-off man he'll be responsible for taking pitches, working counts, and slapping singles all while trying to get his GED online from learn4good.com.

Andrew Cashner- 6'7'', 200 lbs. If you can't recall any people who fit the Andrew Cashner body frame, do this: think of all the members you can on your high school's cross country team, then think of who was the tallest and looked the skinniest in those Asics high rise shorts. There you have it. Over 6 foot 5 and under 2 bills is borderline malnourishment.

If Cashner wasn't straight out of a Celtic 3-piece band, he would be being sponsored for a $1 a day on one of those adopt-a-child commercials that pull at your heartstrings like a puppeteer.

Although he hasn't made his first official start in 2011 just yet, I caught a glimpse of Cash during the national anthem today and was convinced that I had seen him chain-smoking Parliaments outside Mystic Celt on Southport in olive green corduroys with a 29 inch waistline. Let's hope he can deal.

Alexei Ramirez- 6'2'', 175 lbs. The Cuban Missile is about as thick as thistle, and even that might be a tad generous. Although he's still very young, he looks as though he's been eating nothing but rationed cornmeal since he was old enough to chew.

Somehow, someway, he's been able to muster some serious pop in his bat and is also notorious for having a cannon of an arm from the deep hole (unintentional correlation with the whole Cuban Missile thing). I've always liked Alexei, but as Frank Costello says to a young Billy Costigan in The Departed, "EAT SOMETHING!"

Omar Vizquel- 5'9'', 155 lbs. The veteran leader of the "Thin Mitts" is our favorite 43 year-old infielder, Omar Enrique Vizquel. As Jack "the Body" Groot so eloquently laid out in a guest blog late last season, Omar looks like he should be pushing a mop and bucket in a gray onesie with a sewn on patch that reads "Omar" above his left breast at your local high school.

Instead, he has done nothing but make every play at every position he has been asked to play. Tipping the scales at 155 lbs, Omar would probably be a weight-class below most pregnant women, and for succeeding at that stature, I have nothing but respect for him.

There you have it. In a time period where skinny jeans are in style, and Calista Flockhart, Mischa Barton and Nicole Richie have all managed to receive a substantial amount of fame, I guess "thin is in". Let the big dogs eat.

As for Pick of the Day, Brittney Griner let the Pulse Man down and reassured us all that you can never trust a woman over 6'6''. For tomorrow night's national title game, the Pulse Man likes the largest lead of the game to be UNDER 13.5, which I agree is a ludicrous line.

Pick of the Day: Butler vs. UCONN, largest lead of the game-13.5- UNDER

Record:(62-50-0)

Lastly, upon visiting some college friends this weekend in LaCrosse, Wisconsin, we managed to create the inaugural Chicago Sports Noise podcast. As soon as we figure out how to post it, you'll be able to hear it. God bless whoever sits through it.

Now I'm done. Rack me

Frost

Good-bye to the Bayou

With the recent mid-series trade of Mike Fontenot, the Cubs have officially parted ways with the "cajun connection" or the "andouille double play" if you will. No longer will Cub fans see a pair of diminutive, cajun, former LSU teammates collecting ground-balls like they once collected beads from flashers at the mardi gras parade. No longer will Jeff Baker have to walk by their lockers and tell them, "will you guys please turn down the CCR? It's making me swing at the worst pitch of the at-bat every time and effectively have a .284 OBP." Even though the two of them were enduring passable at best seasons, it still tastes bitter to see them pack their Zatarains Dirty Rice Mix and head to relative contenders.

In wishing good riddance to Theriot and Fontenot, like in any mediocre relationship, we must try to remember the good things. Like when they both found themselves on the big club in 2008 and visiting announcers wrongly pronounced their french-creole surnames like they were some Yankee tourist in a Paris hostile. And, in 2008 when both middle infielders had arguably their best seasons. After being called up from Iowa, Fontenot played in 119 games and hit .305 with 9 homers. This was the year when Cub fans would get excited when Fontenot strolled to the plate with his 44 inch bat. But, once he became the permanent replacement for the winsome and wooing Mark DeRosa, he could never settle in--both in the batters box, and in the dusty area he used to play on the right side of the Wrigley infield. Theriot on the other hand, had always been relatively consistent at 2nd and at short for the Cubs, as well as at the plate in any part of the order. In fact, he had a .384 OBP in 2008 and was an NL All-Star. In those times, those dainty "you can't quiet the riot" T-shirts were worn more prevalently worn around Wrigley field than those makeshift Hawaiian style baseball club shirts you always unfortunately seem to find in a trip to a game (don't tell me you haven't seen one of these). Still, with the Cubs trying to lower their cap like all non-contenders have to, they traded these former fixes in the Cub infield and have decided to go younger.

In what Cub management plans as the middle-infield renaissance, they have cast rookie Starlin Castro as the permanent fixture at shortstop, and recent trade acquisition Blake DeWitt as the new two bagger. Although I admit I wasn't a big advocate of the trade, I do like the youth up the middle for the Cubs. With DeWitt turning 25 at the end of the month and Castro barely being old enough to peel the wrappers of his Cuban cigars (he's 20), the Cubs prospectively could have these two players rolling twin killings into the prime of Miley Cyrus' acting career (2018-2022??). So, as much as looking towards the future is essential in the lifeblood of a Cubs fan, the future looks to not need a transfusion for at least a few years, or at least until Castro stops ordering chicken fingers on team charters.

As for pick of the day, a jovial Pulse Man came back from the Cell with a Sox win and division tie, along with a 9-9 record in his inaugural Pick of the Year season. In baseball, the Pulse likes Randy Wolf and the Brew Crew to cover the 1.5 run spread against the D-Backs at (+135). Also, to keep things fresh, he has chosen 3 guys that he likes the odds with in the PGA Tour Championship at Whistling Straits. As an avid golfer himself, I'm sure that he has watched enough golf with a family-size bag of Lays Barbecue chips on his lap to make an educated guess. With that being said, his chosen golfers are listed below.

Pick(s) of the Day(s): Diamondbacks@Brewers- BREWERS -1.5 (+135)
PGA Championship: Hunter Mahan, Ryo Ishikawa, Tiger Woods (go ahead, bet against him)

Record:(9-9-0)